Mess is Mine // Calum Hood

Chapter 16

March 2019

"S, I literally hate you," I commented as I watched Sierra reached across the center console and pick up a french fry from my bag. Kay and Crystal laughed from the back seat as she popped my french fry into her mouth with a smug grin on her face, her eyes staying on the road. "You said you didn't want any."

"Stop pouting," she teased as she handed over a chicken nugget from her box to please me. I gladly accepted her peace offering, dipping it into sweet and sour sauce before eating it.

It was somewhat of a strange feeling to be hanging out with the girlfriends of the band, considering the fact that Calum and I haven't spoken in almost five months. We'd seen each other around - it was hard not to run into each other every once in a while. Ashton and I had grown super close since he talked me down from my panic attack in Amsterdam, and we had been spending a lot of time together since then. Through Ash, I got closer to his girlfriend KayKay. Through her and Sierra, I got closer to Crystal than I had been before. Everyone tried their best to keep me away from Calum, but there were some situations where there was no way around both of us being in the same room.

Admittedly, it hurt that he hadn't reached out at all. After supporting him and being by his side regardless of how hard he tried to push me away
for a whole year, he let me walk away from him just like that. I shouldn't have been shocked that he hadn't attempted to contact me - he'd always had issues with shutting me out when things got to be much. But it was different this time. It hadn't been just a few weeks or even a month; it'd been five months with absolutely no contact. He even avoided eye contact with me on the rare occasion we did end up in the same place at the same time, and in all honesty, that hurt the worst. The boy who was my everything was treating me like I was nothing.

However, I was slowly beginning to heal. I definitely wasn't moving on or getting over him by any means, but I was healing. Girls' nights had been essential for healing my broken heart, and I was very blessed that Sierra, Crystal, and Kay agreed to have a girls' night with me once a week.

We had picked up some McDonald's and decided to drive along the coast, listen to good music, and talk about anything and everything. Sierra volunteered to drive, so me and the other girls were passing around a rather large bottle of wine. Kay took a drink before handing it up to me.

"I think this is the best idea we've had yet," Crystal commented, her forehead resting against the window. I hummed in agreement and lifted the wine bottle to my lips. I tried to avoid using alcohol as a coping mechanism, but I couldn't help myself. It was just too damn good at helping me forget. The majority of the time, drinking allowed me to be carefree and happy and to stop thinking about him. However, there was the rare occasion where drinking would pull out all my messy emotions, forcing me to face them and feel them all. It was a risk I was willing to take to have the chance to stop thinking about him, even if it was just for a little while.

"As much as I adore driving you bitches around, I would also adore a giant glass of wine," Sierra stated, glancing at the bottle resting in my hands. "You guys ready to head back?"

"Yeah, there's tequila waiting for us at home," Kay said with a smirk.

"The boys' tequila obsession has rubbed off on you," Crystal said, scrunching her nose. Kay just shrugged. "I mean I like tequila, but Jesus."

"They do have a tequila problem," Sierra interjected with a laugh. My heart ached at the mention of tequila, and my mind floated back to the night I met Calum and we shared life stories and a flask full of the clear liquor. I took another swig of wine, hoping for for the alcohol to take ahold of me sooner rather than later.