Mess is Mine // Calum Hood

Chapter 17

May 2019

"You're not going to believe this," I spoke into my phone. A few minutes prior to my panicked call to my roommate, I received a text that I wouldn't have expected to receive in a million years. It was a simple text - only four words. Nonetheless, my palms were sweaty and my heart was pounding as a result of four little words from the one person I had been dying to hear from.

Calum Hood

Can I call you?

"That's all he said?" Sierra questioned me after I informed her of the message. I shrugged despite her inability to see me.

"Mhm, what do I even say?" I answered her question with another question. I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling at the tangles. Sierra was silent on the other end of the call, and my mind wandered. I had been waiting to hear from him for over six months, and now that he was finally reaching out, I was terrified. What did he want? Was he doing okay?

"Well, what do you want to say?" Sierra spoke after a few moments of thought. Once again, my shoulders raised in a shrug.

"I feel like you're going to yell at me," I admitted with a small laugh. Over the past few months, her and the girls had been trying their hardest to help me not think about him. Their efforts were extremely effective when they were around, but my thoughts always drifted to him when I was alone. I really couldn't help myself; he had an invisible grip on me, fingers wrapped around my mind and refusing to let go. It was incredibly infuriating and above all, frustrating. I didn't want to think about him constantly. I didn't want to relive all of our memories over and over again. I didn't want to think about how great we could be if he just pulled his head out of his ass.

"I'm not going to yell at you," she responded softly. I sighed.

"I want to tell him that of course he can call me. He can always call me," I trailed off, looking up to the ceiling. It was the unfortunate truth - if Calum called me at four in the morning and said he needed me, I'd be there in a heartbeat, despite the fact that we haven't spoken for a long time.

"Then tell him that," she urged, her voice remaining soft. She knew Calum was - and probably always will be - a soft spot for me.

"Alright, I'm gonna answer and see if he calls," I said as the butterflies in my stomach began to stir at the thoughts of finally hearing his voice after all this time.

"Good luck! Call me again if you need me, okay? I love you!"

"I love you, too, S. See you soon," I responded and waited for her to hang up first. After I heard the beeps signaling she had ended the call, I returned to my messages and typed out five words in response, being as vulnerable as I'd always been with Calum.

Cameron Nichols

You can always call me...

Almost immediately, my phone began to buzz in my palm, and Calum's name popped up on my screen, causing my heart to leap into my throat. I took in a deep breath, feeling the air fill my lungs. I forced myself to wait and not answer right away for the fear of appearing too eager. However, my attempts failed and I clicked the little green button on the second ring.

"Hey," I said softly, thrilled to finally hear his voice actually speaking to me again.

"Hey, Cameron." The butterflies in my stomach became a full-on swarm at the sound of my name falling from his lips, even through a phone.