Mess is Mine // Calum Hood

Chapter 15

November 2018

"Are you alright?" Sierra questioned as she stepped into the apartment. She had just gotten back from seeing Crystal and KayKay, Ashton's girlfriend, to find me sitting on the edge of the couch, head in my hands, staring down at my phone screen.

I couldn't go one day without someone DMing me or tagging me in tabloid posts about Calum partying more and hooking up with other people. I also couldn't help but look at them, even though each one felt like a knife was being twisted around in my stomach. 

I was so fed up with the messages and the hate that came along with them that I ended up shutting down my DM's and setting my Instagram to private for the time being. It was exhausting to have the fact that the boy I cared about so much was sleeping around shoved in my face constantly, and I truly couldn't deal with it anymore. Of course, tabloids lied all the time for attention. But the photographic evidence that often accompanied the articles about Calum were quite convincing.

'CALUM HOOD SEEN LEAVING CLUB WITH MYSTERY BRUNETTE'

'5SOS BASSIST PARTIES HARD AFTER LONDON SHOW'

'MODEL SEEN LEAVING BASSIST CALUM HOOD'S HOTEL'

The titles swam around in my head all day long, and I wasn't able to shake the image of him with someone else from my mind.

"I really don't know what to do at this point," I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. Sierra sat next to me on the couch, rubbing my back. I hadn't seen Calum in almost three months, and I'd barely heard from him over that timespan. Quite frankly, it was killing me. 

"What can I do to help?" she asked as she continued to rub her hand up and down my back.

"I need to know if any of this is true," I responded, turning my head to look at her. "I just need the truth, no matter how bad it's gonna hurt to hear." My roommate looked at me with sad eyes. I felt guilty for her having to put up with my moping, but she was handling it like a pro.

"So I have a crazy idea," she spoke suddenly, pushing herself off of the couch. I raised my eyebrow at her, urging her to share her thoughts. "They'll be in Amsterdam in a few days, and Luke asked me to come out to the show. What if you came with me? I know it's last minute and stuff, but I think you'd get your answers."

I took a moment and thought Sierra's proposal over. Part of me was very hesitant; I didn't want to seem like a psychopath who just started showing up in random places overseas and demanding answers. On the other hand, it was for my own damn sanity. The near daily panic attacks were getting old, and at this point, I didn't really care if Calum thought I was crazy. I needed answers, and I needed them sooner rather than later.

"Book the tickets," I said, looking up at Sierra.

"You're sure?"

"I'm definitely sure."

_______________

Three days later, we landed in Amsterdam. Luke was an absolute saint and had paid for both Sierra's and my ticket. We spent the majority of the day in the hotel room, just talking about what I would say to Calum when I saw him. I wasn't sure what words were going to come out of my mouth, but I would find out soon enough.

We were standing in the wings of the stage once again, watching the boys perform, and as much as I hated myself for it, my heart started to beat just a little faster as I watched Calum.

"I forgot how much seeing him perform makes me want to jump his bones," I commented. Sierra let out a snort and elbowed me in the ribs.

"We're here for business, not pleasure," she giggled. I rolled my eyes and shrugged.