Mess is Mine // Calum Hood

Chapter 5

As soon as I woke up, I reached for my phone out of habit. It was a nasty habit I'd formed in the last week and a half. Calum hadn't reached out to me at all since he had kissed me in the back of the car, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't seriously disappointed. Obviously he wasn't ready for a relationship, and I was perfectly okay with that. I just wanted to help him stop being so damn empty. I wanted to help him see that the world could go back to being a beautiful place for him if he could just open his eyes. 

I just didn't understand why he had pushed me away again,  especially right after he apologized for doing it the first time. All I wanted was to be there for him, and it gave me a sinking feeling to think about him not wanting me there. 

I decided to end my pity party and pull myself out of bed. It was Thanksgiving, and Sierra and I were planning on spending it together. We invited Luke and Ashton over as well, figuring they wouldn't have anything better to do. They both agreed to come over, and they also informed us that they would be baking the turkey, which promised to be nothing short of an adventure.

"Anything yet?" Sierra asked as I padded into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes. She was perched on the countertop, holding a cup of coffee. I shook my head, causing her to frown. "That really pisses me off. He can't keep tugging you back and forth like this." I just shrugged and grabbed a mug from the cabinet above her head.

"It's not fair, but I did tell him I'd be there for me when he needed me," I responded, pouring hot coffee into my mug. Sierra frowned once again.

"That doesn't mean he can keep doing this," she pointed out, raising an eyebrow at me. She was kind of right. I'd only known him for a few weeks and he was already treating me like a yo-yo. But, I was drawn to him, and I couldn't help myself. I knew it was ridiculous, but he was on my mind pretty often. All I wanted was to help him heal - he just needed to let go and let me. 

"Should I text him?" I asked, turning to face her after I put an adequate amount of creamer in my cup. She gave a look, and I knew she didn't approve. "I just- I just want him to know I'm still here."

"He knows you're still here," she said, raising her eyebrows. "He probably knows you're waiting around for him to text, and he probably even likes it." 

"He's not that bad, you know him," I responded, feeling like I needed to defend him. I definitely wasn't mad at Sierra, because I knew she was right.

"I do know him, and I know he hasn't been acting like himself lately. This totally isn't the guy I knew," she stated, taking a sip of her coffee. "That's why I'm worried about you. I'd trust normal Calum all day long. But this Calum? I don't know this Calum."

I met her eyes and blew out of a puff of air. 

"I'm going to text him," I said decisively, pulling out my phone. Sierra chuckled at me.

"You're lucky I love you," she told me, "and I won't judge your poor decision-making." 

"It is not poor decision-making!" I defended, letting out a laugh for the first time in a few days. "He's probably spending today all alone. It's a holiday, S. He can't be alone on a holiday."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, Camie," she remarked, grinning at me. I rolled my eyes at her and pulled up our messages.

Cameron Nichols

Hey, if you don't have any plans today you could join us for dinner! You shouldn't be alone on a holiday.

It took him only a minute to respond.

Calum Hood

Stop being nice to me. I don't deserve it. Please, just give up.