October 2019
Calum
I stepped off the stage after our set in Chicago, covered in sweat and filled to the brim with anxiety. What if she hadn't seen the show? It was a bitch to pull off adding two songs to the setlist less than 24 hours before the show, but our amazing team made it happen. I could've probably just went with adding Wherever You Are, but both Crystal and Sierra informed me that it might be a good idea to add Better Man if I could. I was happy to do it - it was true. She had made me a better man, and I desperately wanted her to know that.
Sierra assured me that Cameron would be watching, but what if she was just saying that to make me feel better? What if I messed up so bad that she wanted nothing to do with me? What if -
"Mate, relax," Luke said, clapping one hand down on my shoulder and handing me a red plastic cup filled with what I assumed to be tequila.
"I can't relax," I responded, bringing the cup to my lips and taking a sip. It stung as it went down, but it almost instantly took some of the edge off. I shrugged off my bass and set it on the stand next to the stage. We weren't done yet - we still had to go out and perform Who Do You Love with The Chainsmokers. On a normal night, I'd be thrilled to get back on stage. But tonight, I just wanted to find my phone and see if she had seen the show. I needed her to have seen it. The boys ditched hours of potential sleep in order to practice the songs, and both The Chainsmokers and Lennon each forfeited a bit of their sound checks to give us extra time to perfect the new additions. She had to have seen it. She had to.
I nursed my cup of tequila as I sat on a couch in the green room, anxiety continuing to build inside of me despite the alcohol that Luke and Ashton were taking turns providing. It was almost time to go back out, but all I could think about was her face.
"I know you're nervous as hell, but it's time, mate," Ashton spoke up, sticking out a hand to help pull me off of the couch. I took a deep breath in and shook the tension out of my body. I could push my thoughts off for a quick performance. I could do this. We lined up, instruments in hand. I hyped myself up as much as possible before we sprinted out onto the stage, earning an eruption of screams from the audience.
I was fortunately able to pull off a good performance. It wasn't my best by any means, but it was still good despite my situation. I always tried to do my best for the fans, no matter what was going on in my life. Hell, I was in a dark place for pretty much the entirety of the Youngblood era, and the fans, for the most part, were none the wiser. I planned to go immediately to my phone the second we stepped off stage. I needed to call her, text her, anything really. The boys and I thundered off the stage and down the steps, shouting and celebrating another show completed. Michael reached back and pulled my hood up over my head right as we reached the stairs, causing me to almost trip down them.
Everyone stopped short at the bottom of the stairs, and I almost collided with Michael's back, considering he'd used my own hoodie to blind me. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I pushed the hood away from my eyes. Why'd they all stop like that? Michael shuffled to the side slightly, and all of my questions were answered. I almost couldn't believe my eyes. There she was. Cameron. My Cameron. She looked beautiful - she always did. She was wearing mom jeans, black heeled boots, and one of the long-sleeved tour shirts. Her hair was pulled away from her face in a ponytail, and my heart fluttered at the sight of her. So simple and so, so beautiful.
I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face, and I needed her to be in my arms - now. I ripped my bass from my body and haphazardly shoved it into a stage hand's arms, not caring about anything in that arena other than her. I started taking quick steps towards her, smiling even wider as the little grin on her face grew into something bigger.
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Mess is Mine // Calum Hood
FanfictionIn which a girl takes his mess and makes it hers.