Death's Angel

Chapter 3

       The picture was a picture of this short brown haired girl and this other boy who was smiling in it. Something tells me that the girl wasn't as happy. What's weird is See a black shadow behind the girl who apparently has his hands on her shoulders. I keep the picture hidden from God because I just feel so attached to it for some reason.
         God has blamed me for the things he has broken in my room saying if it wasn't the fact that I was harboring unnecessary items in heaven. He broke my record player and my radio because I wanted music. The thing is he got me those things. He also brought me a tiny little iPod that I've hidden from him. He knows I have it the only thing that stopped him is the fact that I have it hidden where he couldn't find it.
        Sometimes I think the halo blocks out any memories from my death but I also think it reads my thoughts. I feel like I'm crazy for these like random thoughts. Like why would god even need to know all our thought processes if we're all loyal to him? Why would I think of my lord would have any bad intentions? 
       What if, and I know its a crazy idea but what if I got kicked out of heaven and God took my halo? Everyone has a theory that nothing will really happen. But I think the halo is a piece of my angel self. Like once I take it off all of my personalities of being an angel is gone.
        I shouldn't have such terrible thoughts. But sometimes I have doubts about our own God. He isn't helping with the coming war. He just keeps messing with Satan and telling him all these nasty things. Things like how Satan doesn't have a golden crown and how he's just a fallen angel that got salty that he got kicked out of the most wonderful place ever. Well, it's more of were trapped here. 
      A lot of angels fell in love with the other part of their souls or their soulmates who went to hell. Some soulmates went to hell because like God said it was not loved and that the other part was a demon and Satan got ahold of them. These only are stories I've heard. I've only been here for....i don't even know...i really don't know. Time just flies here or slows. Some of these stories were told when I was coming into heaven. 
Apparently, no one even knows the middle brother's name or they just don't like discussing him. Well, they said he was like a monster. Just like no one likes discussing Satan. I think its a very interesting topic.
     It's not that we don't want to discuss the brothers it's just the more we question it the more we are suspicious for turning against him. Saying something about discussing something means we like them. He acts like a king of everything. I can't do this and can't do that.       
      Funny fact, God banned any game because if he lost at least one game it was banned. It would be the new angels too. It's not the new angel's fault. What hurt, even more, is they would be excited to win then of God's fury in their faces. Even when it was just a simple board game. We all let God win.
      I guess you can question God's childish behavior. But he really is loving and caring. He's given me so many gifts and encouraging words. Even though those words have insulted and degrading things. Especially in front of the other angels but like he is really caring. He does a lot of things for me and the angels. He does things for our safety.