Fragments of Me

Chap 10 : Truth and Trapped

Exams started and all got forgotten in the mixture. I basically had declining grades so piercing words came to my ears most of the time. Whenever I got the routine I first looked at the last exam so that I could have a clear state of mind. But this time I looked at the first. It was Mathematics. Shit. Never have I hated anything so much other than maths. It had such a power that it could ruin my perfectly perfected mood. Just one question was enough and I then needed special needs to calm me down. The first exam ruined the whole examination process. The exams ended and I saw Samael wave good bye. He left school as well as studies. He was hanging by a thread and now that thread is even gone and he fell upon a heap of ruins. I went home to find something to do this all vacation. Trevor called and told me to immediately get out of the house. To tell you the truth, I wanted him to call. I took the keys and rode to our spot. I found the whole gang there. Twelve boys with their bikes and the atmosphere was smoky. A sight to see. It made my whole body warm up with excitement. It was decided to go for a long ride. We rode to edge of the harbour which was approximately 97kms from where we started. Rough driving among the busy streets of the city to a slow ride across the whole scenery. It was majestic. We stopped at the harbour. It was in the afternoon so no fishermen were around. Everyone took pictures of the sunset. I sat there with a smoke in my hand looking at the beauty but not finding anything to focus on. Trevor and Axxis came up to me,

Axxis : Why the gloomy face, devil?

Me : Oh it's nothing.

Trevor : Bro is feeling solitude. Yeah, been there..

Axxis : What you need is a girl.

Me : Does everything gets solved with a girl in the picture?

Axxis : They provide company and sometimes advice.

Me : I am not in trouble to ask for advice and not alone so I don't need company.

Axxis : Have you even tried to get a girl? Everything I saw you just moving away from one.

Me : Not everyone can talk to anyone. And yes I have tried. Tried and got rejected four times. So this time I am gonna keep my mouth shut until some sort of divine revelation takes place.

Axxis : Hey calm down, I just thought for your betterment.

Me : I tend to think there is none.

I took off. My tyres tearing the road. I rode quite hastily considering my speed limits but I wanted the air to brush on my face.  So thus I spent the rest of the whole holiday  slogging around at home and playing video games.

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People sometimes and suddenly end up saying something that doesn't have an effect on the person it was meant for instead it does on the person beside. The second term of class eight started and a new student got enrolled in our class. Another girl. The administration office called me down one day and told me to take the student to my class. I am gonna say the truth. I was a bit frozen seeing the sight. She sat there with her legs crossed. She was pretty. She had brown beautiful eyes, brown flamed hair and all in all a great posture. Her name was Jennie. Remember what I said about having a crush. This was mine. I lead her to our class to find Aldrin almost red. I guess why. She started doing class and everything kinda seemed great. One day some of were playing truth and dare. That game is rigged! It always points towards someone who doesn't want to open up. It turned towards me and a slightly visible smirk was evident on faces. I knew the question already. They did ask anyway and I ended up saying yes. Wish I could take it back. I promise never have I ever felt so guilty after telling a truth. They wouldn't get off my back. Their instructions were simple. To go up to her and propose. Like that was an easy task. I tried to explain them that had only recently entered school so it will be provoking and will ruin my image. They didn't seem to hear my words. Here I was trapped in my own net. I remembered when I used to do these things. Now I know how it feels. It went from simple to extreme in a few months. I overheard one them say that since he did some it to us we are gonna do it him. This was pure revenge. I decided to open up and tell her what was going on. Not propose. Never cause those words won't leave unless it's.....
On that day they forced us into the balcony and locked the doors. She turned towards me and demanded the answers. I told her everything from traps to getting trapped and from crush to being crushed. She frowned and left. They opened the door and realized what happened. I guess. I went to continue my class.

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The fact that my image got ruined made my emotional state to deteriorate. I didn't want it. Crush became a distant memory and I needed someone to confide in. I thought of my friends but they would laugh it off, everyone would and I didn't blame them. It was something to laughed about. I decided to bury it. I went to school and Joana caught up. She wanted to talk and I agreed. There was a strange warmth in her voice that wanted me to speak more with her. I craved for it actually. She asked me about my "incident" with Jennie and I told her. She seemed really interested and we struck up a conversation. We talked on social media and it was fun. I found myself telling her almost everything. Frankly speaking I had feelings growing. But I knew she hated me. Hated me for pestering her for months on end. I guess hate is something people don't forget easily. Mike and Joana had grown a bit distant. Maybe it was becuase Mike was leaving school. Who knows. I had no idea. But Joana changed. It was evident. She was more interactive, more alive and well yes a great companion for me to confide into. I found my confidence back. The exams of class eight ended and we all went on holiday. We all kept tabs on each other. I thought I had nothing on my back but when I was about to continue my regular ways everyone started again compelling me to give up. I guess when we say the truth about something we expose ourselves to the bitterness of it that follows. All in all I learned who Joana really is and I am glad. Atleast I could confide in with someone but I was eagerly waiting for her to tell me what was going on between her and Mike and what happened afterwards that changed it...

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Note : "The idea of confiding in to someone is to mainly trust and have confidence in that person. But what does it eventually and actually turn into?".🖤