Cancer Ain't Gonna Stop Me

❀Chapter Eighteen❀

Chapter Eighteen - Something I wasn't supposed to hear.

Today I had an appointment with Rivera, but this time I wasn't so much looking forward to it. Because of what happened between us. I just don't know how I would react or feel just being around her. Or even how she would feel about all this.

I have to say, I'm holding up better than I thought I would be. After that total meltdown I had the other day– I guess that was all I needed is to get out all my emotions, I was bottling up inside.

Along with that whole scene, with my mother witnessing her daughter break. She and my father have been extra over protective now. I also noticed my father sometimes missing work– just to keep an eye on me, which I hated.

Anyways, I was done with all my classes for today and so was Joanna.

So we were hanging out at Harby's pizzeria before my appointment with Rivera, and again I wasn't looking forward to it.

“Are you sure you don't want to follow me to the Halloween party?” Joanna asked. He's been talking about this god dang Halloween party the whole time we got to Harby's and it was starting to get annoying.

“Yes, I'm sure” I told him for what I think was a thousandth time.

“C'mon you need to have fun” Joanna told me and I knew he wasn't gonna stop until I give in.

“Plus it'll also help you get over Rivera and who knows you might even find someone that'll spark something in you” He added with a slight smirk on his face.

I doubt that'll even happen. Rivera was the only one that I met that actually sparked an interest in me. Sure, I've met a lot of beautiful women, but Rivera was just the one for me. She just made me feel something that no other woman can.

“Sure, why not” I breathed out, finally giving in to Joanna, only because he wouldn't stop bugging me until I did.

“Yay! You won't regret it” Joanna gave me a big hug all excited for the Halloween party.

I hope not...

After me and Joanna hanged out for a little bit more. Joanna dropped me off at the hospital. I was actually five minutes late, but I didn't care. I didn't even want to be at the hospital to begin with.

I just took a deep breath before entering the building, making my way to the third floor and to my usual room, but when I was about to open the door. I stopped. I heard Jean and Rivera arguing.

“I can't believe you slept with him!” I heard Jean say, sounding a bit disappointed in Rivera.

“I didn't sleep with Charles!” Rivera defended herself.

“Oh yeah, then explain why was he at your house this morning – with only his boxers on!” Hearing that made my heart ache, as if it didn't already.

I just hated the idea of Rivera moving on. I just didn't like the thought of Rivera with someone else, especially her ex husband, knowing that she still had feelings for him and just hearing that she slept with him. I didn't like what I was feeling right now one bit.

I didn't wanna hear anymore and fast walked away from the room, not even caring about my appointment I had with Rivera. I don't think I'll even handle being in the same room with her. I just wanted to be away from her.

✿✿✿

Rivera's P.O.V.

“It was just all a misunderstanding” I told her. Because it was. She just came at the wrong time– at the wrong moment.

“No, I don't think it was a misunderstanding. What about Ava?”.

Just the mention of Ava made my heart ache.

“Look, I didn't sleep with Charles;I mean I was, but I didn't” I told her and I didn't feel good about it.

“What do you mean, you was?” Jean looked at me almost disgusted by the thought.

“He came over and he asked if he can make love with me one last time”.

“So you...” It looked like Jean couldn't say anymore.

“No, I didn't” I stated clearly “I mean we were about to, but I ended up moaning Ava's name halfway through” I explained “I'm not proud about it. If anything I feel guilty about what I did” I sighed. I didn't know what I was thinking that day. I would've easily told Charles 'no' , but didn't.

Even though we didn't go any further then what we started. I still feel guilty and I didn't like the feeling at all.

“Well, you should feel guilty, cause I liked Ava and I also liked when you both were together” Jean told me. I knew she wasn't happy about me and Ava's sudden break up– and trust me, I wasn't happy too.

“Please don't remind me” I rolled my eyes, not wanting to discuss this with her right now.

“Rivera, I don't see what's wrong” Jean said not listening to a single word I just said “You guys were happy together. You were happy with her and I just don't understand why” She told me. I knew she just wanted to help, but she just didn't understand.

I didn't say anything, but stayed quiet.

“Rivera, answer me!”.

“Because I'm scared, okay!” I finally had the strength to say it. I could already feel myself at the verge of breaking.

“Scared of what? Losing your job?”.

“No, it's not only that” I took a deep breath before continuing “I'm scared of losing Ava for good. I'm scared of waking up one morning and she's not fully there with me” I started to feel my eyes start to water “I'm scared because I think I love her and that scares the shit out of me” and that's when the tears started to fall, feeling Jean quickly took me in her arms.

“I love Ava and I don't want her to leave me” I completely broke down, as all the emotions I held in– just simply came all out. I didn't really like showing my emotions in front of others, but I couldn't help it anymore. I couldn't hold it in any longer.

“Ssh, it's okay let it all out” Jean said softly, rubbing circles around my back, as I simply cried on her shoulder, staining her uniform with my tears.

After what felt like hours, but in reality– it was only maybe a few minutes of me crying my damn eyes out, as I just simply pulled myself together.

“Wait, weren't you supposed to see Ava today?” Jean suddenly remembered, reminding me that I did indeed have an appointment with her today.

“Yes, I was” I looked over to the clock and it was already twenty minutes passed the time that I was supposed to see her “She was supposed to be here every since 3 o'clock, but now it looks like she's running late”.

“You don't think she...” Before Jean could even finish in what she about to say. I quickly bolted out the door. I didn't want to think that she overheard in what me and Jean was talking about, and get the wrong idea.

I quickly rushed over to the receptionist desk hot on my heels.

“Hey there Autumn, you didn't happen to see Ava coming in earlier have you?” I asked hoping that she would say no.

“Actually she did, but ended up leaving in a rush afterwards” Hearing that just made me feel—

“Fuck!” I slammed my hands against the table. I rubbed my hands over my face. I knew my colleagues and everyone was giving me strange looks right now, but I didn't care.

I just sighed deeply and laid my head back.

I'm sorry Ava...