The Child

LAST CHAPTER

"LHIRA baby.. S-Sorry for being like this... For having a mother like me... Napakaselfish ko para hilingin sa iyo na huwag akong iwan even if i know na sobra ka ng nahihirapan... Patawarin mo ako anak kung mas pinili kong magmukmok dahil sa pag-alis ng daddy mo kaysa ang sulitin ang mga araw at oras na nandito ka pa... Now you also left me... I have nothing left.. Iniwan mo din ako"i cried while holding her cold hands na kani-kanina lang ay nakayakap pa sa akin ng mahigpit at dama ko pa ang init...

"Kahit sa huli.. Hindi ko pa din magawang magbigay.. Puro sarili ko pa din ang gusto kong mauna kahit alam kong sobra ka ng napapagod at nahihirapan.. Im sorry baby.. I-I just cant let you go... Hindi ko kayang mawala ka dahil ikaw na lang ang naiwan na mayroon ako... But still you left me... Sana ako na lang ang nagkasakit.. Bakit ikaw pa?! Bakit kailangang ikaw pa?! D*mn!"i cried so hard as i felt my friend hand on my back trying to calm me but i cant.. Sobrang sakit ng dibdib ko na hindi ko na alam kung saan pa ilulugar ang mga sakit na kasalukuyang nararamdaman ko.

"Im such a stupid! Lahat na lang ng tao iniwan ako.. Pati ba naman ikaw?!"i added and poured my heart out wishing that she was still here and listening so that she would change her mind and choose not to leave me.

The clock stop ticking the moment that she was declared dead... And as it was stopped.. My world also stop and die with her. I was still breathing but i was already dead inside...

The feeling of breathing and moving but cant feel anything because it was totally dead inside and that is what i was feeling right now..

No tears nor emotion came out at my face while watching how they buried her six feet under the ground... I choose not to see her face because i know.. Im going to die again and cant bear to shoulder another pain.

People around me was mourning but i cant mourn with them.. I felt so tired and blank inside... My family was complete this day even Alex family but i cant feel anything even i saw how they cried... Hindi ko maramdaman na kumpleto pa ako gayong dati naman sapat na ang pamilya ko para maramdaman kong kumpleto ako...

Sobrang laki ng bagay na nawala sa pagkatao ko... At hindi ko alam kung kailan ko mapupunan iyon o pupunan ko pa nga ba...

Tears wasn't cooperate at me this time samantalang halos araw-araw ako kung umiyak noong nandito pa siya.. Gustuhin ko man ay wala talaga akong mailuha... Is this what she want? She made me cry and cry before so that when it was her time to say goodbye... Hindi na ako iiyak...

I remember how she sadly smile at me when she wiped my tears away before... Not twice but many more then she will gave me a hug after that...

She really prepared everything.. She don't want me cry again because no one will hug me again.. Wala na siya para yakapin ako kapag umiiyak ako...

"Liyah.... Magpahinga ka na" rinig kong bulong ni Ness sa gilid ko ngunit hindi ko siya nilingon at nanatiling nakatingin sa lupa kung saan kasalukuyang nakalagay na ang pangalan at lapida ng anak ko...

Her name was embedded beautifully at the grave... It was in italic font...

' LHIRA ALEJE SANDOVAL'

DIED
APRIL 24, 2019

Under it was her picture that captured last time at the park where it was our last time together.. The last time that we are complete.. She has this unique and genuine smile that time as her eyes where glistening with happiness and contentment... Her hair was freely dancing with the wind and she looks like a princess in her peach lacy dress and a pair of peach doll shoes..