Revelations

Paranoia

As much as Dean tried to swallow the paranoia that constantly crept into his mind after the night before, the creak of the door still haunted him to the core. Because he could always feel Cas' presence. Over the years, that profound connection between them had grown considerably deeper. So, when they were merely inches apart, like an angel watching over him, Dean understood the meaning of body energy. He had felt that energy and even though his mind was screaming doubts, he remembered coming out of the shower and discovering that Cas' yellow toothbrush was missing.

And that one bit of evidence was enough to cement his belief that every shameful second spent in the shower had been witnessed by Cas. How long he had been standing outside the glass door, Dean couldn't determine exactly. But the mere fact that he hadn't been alone in one of his weakest moments, Dean felt so damn raw and embarrassed inside, he tried to overcompensate by acting as if everything was totally normal the next morning.

Sam packed their bags into the trunk of the car whilst slurping on a smoothie Jody had whipped up from cucumbers, tomatoes and peaches. Everything was going like clockwork. They bid their farewells with warm hugs. Claire held onto Cas a little too longer than any other time before. Alex wandered over to confide in him that Donna and Jody were on the mend and then he climbed into the driver's side, holding his breath as Cas jumped into the backseat.

His brother made a face. Obviously. But when he was simply told that switching up seats for the long ride home allowed him more time to read and sleep, Sam obliged to Cas. He shrugged, glanced at Dean and after there were no objections, the taller Winchester fitted his lanky frame into the front seat and barefacedly pushed in the damn mixtape.

"Come on!" Dean lamented on and on at Sam, objecting to drowning in feelings and how a good roll of ACDC or Led would refresh his mind. But Sam refused to eject the cassette. And so for most of the journey, like a good hour into the ride, there was no kind of conversation because Dean was terribly confused, conflicted, embarrassed and angry and Sam was contented, peaceful and happy.

Cas on the other hand was pensive and had seated himself directly behind Dean's seat just to avoid the meeting of their eyes. The initiation of any kind of contact between them felt daunting because he simply was uncertain about how to broach the topic. About how to come right out and admit that he had shamefully witnessed something reminiscent of the purest kind of desire and passion and release. And over and over again as Castiel pondered on that particular moment, he really began to understand how complex the chemistry and bond between humans could become.

Dean was evidently severely physically attracted to him. And his body was also very responsive to Dean's advances the night before. But he hadn't suffered in agony like the other man. He hadn't returned to the house with an unbearable ache for release. And as Castiel thought about it constantly, he began to feel considerably alien to the machinations of love and passion.

"So get this," Sam suddenly piped up as the newspapers rustled in his lap, "it appears as if there has literally been no mishaps as of late. I'm talking about a span of three weeks. No murders that come off as weird. No eerie disappearances. Nothing," he reached up and tossed back those silky locks of his. "Seems like everything is just fine."

"Just before the freaking ball drops," Dean commented, detesting the decision made by Cas to sit behind him which pretty much meant that he had seriously screwed up again.

"Yeah but we've had periods before when nothing happened for weeks," Sam considered his brother with a frown. "But this time is different. I mean, after we had a massive swarm of restless souls on earth? Then...God is somewhere doing who the heck knows what. And all we can do is sit down and wait."

"I hate waiting too, Sam," Dean admitted as Taylor Swift's 'Lover' started to play, "but you've got to admit, we needed this break. If not you, at least I did. And so did Cas. Right Cas?" those emerald eyes swerved a little to the right to seek out blue ones.