Howling at the Moon

18. Jealousy

Diondre and Faith were walking hand in hand to class. For Faith this was a cause of little shocks rolling up her arm over and over again, but for Diondre this was just two friends being close. They had just come from divination which Faith loved, she liked to believe she possessed the inner eye despite never getting a single thing right in the 3 years she'd studied it. And on that same judgement she felt that now should be the time to tell Diondre her feelings. In the middle of a busy corridor. Almost late for their DADA class.

"Di, I have to tell you something." Faith Nettle stopped the two of them walking by yanking the other girls hand back so she faced her. "Well do, rather... I think.. I don't know how...oh screw it!"

She pulled the taller girl's face to hers, Diondre felt her blood wash through her in suprise. The lips were the softest she has ever felt, they fitted comfortably against hers as she kissed back. Diondre trailed her fingers timidly down the girls arms, who had skin like silk.

Faith shivered under her touch, she'd imagined this moment a lot lying in her bed alone, and now she was here and this was real. Far better than she ever could have dreamed, her hands lost somewhere in the long tangle of hair.
One thing Faith was magically good at was bad timing, if there was a class that could exist in the topic she would be the top of it without even trying. At the moment she tugged on the girls hair, causing Diondre to moan quietly from the pain, Professor Lupin had noticed two empty seats in the class that was filling up.

Lupin stepped out of his classroom to see if there were any stragglers for his class before he shut the door. There was two girls kissing, pulling at each other, desperate. He mind initially blocked him from the impact of jealousy as he struggled to work out who the dark haired girl was. He was sure the fair haired girl was Faith Nettle, being one of the few to openly state she likes girls. But the taller one... Then his heart broke.

When Diondre and Faith finally pulled apart the teacher had stalked back into his classroom wordlessly.

"Shit! We're late, I'm so sorry." Faith apologized dragging Diondre into the class.

"We're sorry Professor! We're late, we were caught up with something." The entire class shared laughed with one another as it was obvious what the two girls were caught up with. Both panting with swollen lips and messy hair, still clutching at the others hand.

"That's alright girls, please take a seat." Lupin said in a voice that was so calm it unnerved the rest of the class. He wasn't a very strict teacher but tardiness like this never gets left un punished. In this occasion however Lupin was trying his very best to bring in all of the pain he was feeling.
_____
Diondre grew worried for her teacher as the class progressed. So when it had ended she told Faith to go on without her and followed Lupin to his office. She now sat opposite his desk while he fiddled with some papers in front of him.

"So you and miss Nettle...?" He let the question hang in air.

"Are we together? Is that what you're asking? She is beautiful no?" Diondre thought back to her milky skin and bright shining eyes, how red her lips were when she pulled away.

The professor was looking at her with something unreadable. The paper he was holding ripping under his grasp. She pulled his emotions to her.

"She is quite stunning yes. You would make an attractive couple." He replied, putting the paper back on the table and forcing his voice to remain placid.

"You do know that I know you're jealous right?" She said, almost smugly. The expression dropped however at her teachers next actions.

In a manor quite unlike Remus he stood up and slammed his hands on his desk. "Well what the fuck do you think? You spend every second of the time we spend alone together getting me to react to you! Kissing me, touching me telling me shit that makes me think I am something to you and there you are kissing someone else! Like only they exist! Like I can't feel any way about it."

Diondre was thrown back from the rawness of his emotion, hitting her like a bludger to the face. She flushed, finding it too unbearably warm in the office suddenly. He must have seen them together.

"I..." She started, looking up at the man that stood red in the face with his nostrils flared, still catching his breath from the outburst. "I didn't know.." she starts again in a quiet voice.

"You didn't know what! That every time I see you I have to mentally tie my hands behind my back. That your consistent outrageous flirting leaves me red faced for hours after you're gone. That every time I see you two holding hands I've wondered but pushed the thought away because the next moment you're telling me I'm the best thing you have ever seen. And all of that time you've been fucking her!" He was getting too old for this. He sat back in his seat deflated.

Diondre had never felt so small in her life. She'd known she made him feel some kind of way, but he was always so reserved. Since that first night when he tried to kiss her she wanted him. He might have responded to her but always shut her out afterwards.

"I haven't been."

"What?" For a moment he thought she was saying she hadn't been flirting with him. He might have exploded.

"I haven't been fucking her. That was the first time I realized she liked me. Well properly anyway."

"And I'm supposed to believe you couldn't already feel that?"

" It's only lately that I can feel the source of people's emotions and I've just never tried with her. If I had known you would feel this way I would never have kissed her back."

Remus let out a laugh, "right, you didn't know how I feel, you didn't know how she felt. The only thing you know Diondre, is how people feel. And apparently how best hurt them. If you could leave my office please I have work to do." He stared at her with a look that forced all other words back down Diondre's throat.

She stood to leave while the tears of her own stupidity welled up in her eyes.

"Remus.. I.." she choked. It broke Remus's heart even more.

"Just go."

She did.
______

For the rest of the week Diondre had been avoiding Faith like the dementors. Marry Nettle had approached her a few times to plead her sisters case but had been brushed away every time.

The relationship between Lupin and Diondre in classes has become nonexistent.

She'd turn up late, he wouldn't acknowledge it. She spoke out of turn he wouldn't even look at her. She tried setting fire to the desk. That resulted in the evacuation of the class and 20 points from Hufflepuff, said facing away from her. It was unbearable. More so now she knew she meant something to him.

It wracked her with guilt even more to see Faith with blood red eyes, especially with how close her father had been with her's. Diondre, always so in control of any situation had managed to betray nearly everyone she cared about in the span of a day.

There was still Sirius. Making up her mind she set up a plan to sneak away after transfiguration down to the shrieking shack.
______

"Why did you kiss her then if you like him so much?" It was a good question she didn't really want to answer.

"I don't know, I've never kissed a girl before. It's very different from boys. Much softer, sweeter. And she's so kind." She poured more cream over her cake, trying to drown her guilt in it.

"Well if I was this professor man I would never have gotten jealous."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, sounds hot to me. Two for one."

She chucked her cake at him. Sirius mumbled a thanks and popped it in his mouth.

"I don't know how to get him to forgive me. Even if I can never have him now, I want him to forgive me. " she carried on, ignoring his disinterested in her turmoil.

"Maybe you should make him some of your chocolate cake." He suggested licking the cream off his fingers.

Diondre sighed, the chocolate cake was helping more with her mood than Blacks advise.

"Well I must get going, it's late. Sleep well Sirius, and use that flea cream I gave you."

He mumbled a goodbye through another mouthful of cake.