Howling at the Moon

31. Caffeine and consequence

Diondre couldn't get that memory out of her mind, no matter which way she tossed and turned in her bed. She lay tucked under her covers, blanking out all the soft snores around her, the hour was late and the birds had began to wake. The revelation that her Father has carried the happiness she remembers with him everywhere, plays on her. She had prevented herself from allowing her emotions to be contagious, not always successfully, but a constant fight none the less. And yet her father had allowed it to happen. What she wouldn't give to see her mum that happy again... was it ever real?

A young selfless Faith also stuck with her. A friendship she had since before she can remember was destroyed by her own selfish feelings and naivety. It wasn't fair, she thought, how could she have messed up so spectacularly.
Even Diondre's mother who detested the magical world and once her father died removed all traces of it, could never bring herself to separate the girls.

The thoughts came at her from all directions, making her shuffle and dodge uncomfortably under her sheets, finding it no comfort. One final stab was all it would take for her to break down completely, it came in the cry for some relief. Relief she would have found in Remus's arms. She wrapped the quilt tighter around her face and began to cry, as quiet as she could.

_________

"You seem in good spirits today." Tahlia commented. Diondre was walking to breakfast with a spring in her step and an easy happiness surrounding her. It came from the slight insanity of a sleepless night. Things were amazing, she kept telling herself. She will be the lovely warm person her father was, at all times. Like him.

"Yeah I'm feeling pretty good about today." She said flicking her curls over her shoulder. The two girls caught the attention of everyone in the corridor, it had much to do with Diondre's yellow and orange jumper, which she had stitched in an attempt to mimic the sun. It certainly was blinding. Tahlia wore an equally ridiculous orange and red one, also stitched by Diondre, only hers had been cropped to look almost fashionable.

"That's good, I was starting to get worried about you. You feel things too much."

"Yeah I think that's the problem, I'm not actually an empath I just have too much emotion. Hey, where's Penny today?" She glanced around looking for their nerdy friend.

"She's spending the day with Faith, they're going to hogsmade together." She said the last part suggestively.

Faiths name was like a punch to her stomach. Her smile almost faltered, she held it up with all the energy she had.

"I think I'm going to have coffee today!" She stated before skipping off ahead of her friend to the dining hall. Tahlia stood for a second in horror of what a caffeinated Diondre is like. She would imagine better outcomes of she was to have straight vodka for breakfast instead. "Here we go..." She said under her breath, taking off after her.

___________

Diondre was on her second cup and gulping it down like an old man at his whiskey.

"You're going to shit yourself in first period if you keep going like that." Tahlia warned, taking a large bite out of her french toast, looking smug. "And I'm going to enjoy every minute of it."

"You really are!" Piped up Jacob Rogger. He was in their year and had had the most obvious crush on Tahlia for the entire time they've known him. Jacob was attractive, with brown skin and perfectly floppy hair, but far too much of a gentle boy for Tahlia to be remotely interested. "I once had an expresso before our quidditch game, and well I haven't used that broom since..."

Everyone around them who had the unfortune of overhearing that story groaned in disgust.

"Oh! That's lovely Jacob!" Tahlia told him sarcastically, he gave her a shy smile back.

Diondre couldn't help it, she burst out into laughter, caffeine, sleep deprived laughter, it spread to Tahlia who knew exactly how this day was going to go. Poor Jacob didn't know what it was about, or if he was allowed to join in so he just turned away to pretend to be in a conversation with someone else.

A tray came down in a slam between them. The girls calmed down immediately when they saw who it was.

"I was hoping we could talk a bit." Faith said in her delicate voice. She looked down at where Tahlia sat, with no empty seats around them.

"Oh..." Tahlia shuffled to standing. "Got to keep Penny company, you know what's she like alone." She gave a meaningful look. "Starts reading books!"

Faith took the empty seat.

"I feel like it's time we talk." She said.

The nervous energy was making Diondre's skin tickle, like being too close to a power line. Dangerous and unpredictable.

"Yeah, I'd like to talk." She replied, her throat tight.

"I know I said I forgave you, and I do! I do forgive you. It's just that I don't feel at home with you anymore, I can't see you without seeing my own heart break again. And I appreciate you getting Tahlia and Penny to spend time with me, but it's you that held us together. Nothing feels right anymore, I don't belong and I hate you for that." Faith quickly reached up to wipe a tear with her shirt sleeve. Faith was a pretty crier, it always intrigued Diondre growing up. How dainty she could make absolutely everything.

I could get rid of this.. she thought to herself. All it would take is one push. It could be back to normal. The temptation to use her power had never been this strong. She really could fix this...

"Am I not even worth a reply now?" The atmosphere had gone from trepidatious to sparky.

"Oh no! Faith I'm sorry wait!" But it was too late, Faith had given up.

___________

Remus watched the girl from the teachers table. Someone was saying something to him and he was pretending to nod along.

Diondre seemed so happy these last two weeks. It was driving him crazy, she told him he made her happy, but now he sees that he was right. He was making her miserable. It didn't make him feel any better, to know that he had done the right thing. He missed her. But this was good for both of them. He had to keep reminding himself.

It seems that her friendship with Faith hadn't rekindled, a very selfish and dark side of him was happy about that. She'll find new friends. He'll have to deal with the eventuality that she'll find someone new to love as well. He watches as someone takes Faith's old seat, thinking about how he hopefully he won't be there to see it, not sure if he'll be able to keep himself together to see her with someone new.

The newcomer is a Griffindor boy, that surprises him. People don't normally switch to other tables. He's small looking, with quick sharp movements. Everything he does looks precise but urgent, like when he leans in to poke Diondre on the nose. Remus chokes a bit on his pumpkin juice.

Who the fuck is that guy! And why is she laughing!