Be Yourself - Jadam Story

Chapter 31 - Save Me

James'POV

Adam has been acting differently lately, it's almost disturbing. He would get out of bed and get dressed but he would just go back to bed almost an hour later. He's been more distant from me too. Our long dinners filled with exciting chatting turned into quiet short ones. Sometimes I would just eat by myself. I'm starting to worry about him.

I woke up before Adam one day and waited for him. I made an extra special breakfast while he was still asleep. I heard his footsteps on the creaking stairs as he walked in. "Morning Adam!"

"Morning Jameson..." Adam groaned. He plopped down into a chair and just sat quietly. I put the breakfast in front of him. Even though he cooks way better than I can, he seemed to enjoy the food I made. "Thanks James." he said. He never looked me in the eye and smiled though. He just looked down.

"So...there's this new movie coming out. I was thinking that we could go and watch it and catch some dinner afterwards. What do you say?" I looked at him with per excitement. Adam loves dates to the movies.

"We can just wait 2-3 months for it to come on streaming services and watch it that way. Plus we can order in. I gotta get in some work today, I can't go James." Adam said. He picked up his plate and put it in the sink. That was so unlike him. He would drop work in a heartbeat to go to a good movie and get some food. There had to be more. I had to get to the bottom of this.

I knocked on Adam's door and walked into the room. "Adam, can we talk?" I asked. "Can it wait?" he replied. He seemed so disinterested as he turned back around and kept drawing. I stood over him and waited till he was finished. It was unsettling to see him like this. Clearly, he had something on his mind that needed to get out.

"James, I can't focus if you stand over me like that."

"Well maybe now you'll pay attention to what I have to say."

"Look, in a minute ok? I promise. I'm just behind right now and I need to catch up. You know how it is." he told me. I sighed and just walked out of the room. What is with that guy?

•~•

Adam's POV

About an hour later I got up to take a five minute bathroom break. As I was making my way to the bathroom I heard James' door creek open. He wasn't waiting for me. I heard his footsteps outside of the bathroom. "Damn, he really is waiting for me." I drop my pants and start going as I heard James open the door. "James, what the hell!?" I yelled out at him.

"What I needed to make sure you were actually going instead of stalling." he said, "Plus I've seen you naked before. We live together and you're my boyfriend." he mumbled.

"Close the door James!" I snapped back. He quickly shut the door leaving me to my business. I slowly pull my pants back up until I heard him again. "You're doing it the wrong way ya know. You're just supposed to-"

"I know but that's what happens when you have to keep your boyfriend from watching you pee!" I wash my hands (plz wash ur hands guys) and open the door.

"What is with you these past few weeks?" James yelled.

"I don't know what you're talking about! If anything you're being weird today!"

"Oh really? You've been so distant from me! You've been hiding in the bedroom all the time. You won't even talk to me! You turned down a date to the movies. That's so unlike you! What's the problem? Did I do something? Is this my fault now?"

Before I could answer I just looked at James. He had tears in the corner of his eyes. He quickly whimpered and looked down. "Of course it was me." he mumbled, "I'm sorry I hurt you Adam. I didn't mean it. If there was anything I did to get you mad I'm sorry. I shouldn't of tried to push you so hard today. I'll j-just go..." James walked into the bedroom and closed the door. What have I done?

•~•

"Jameson? James, buddy, can I come in?" I peaked into the room and saw him lying in bed. He had Floof in his arms as he sadly looked up at me.

"You we're right, I am upset. I have been acting differently. Everything from that party and YouTube has just been getting to me. This stupid manipulative industry it getting me mad and I've been taking it out on you. Actually, I started taking it out on strangers too. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't sleep at night because I'm up with all my thoughts, I'm pushing people way, I can't even go outside anymore. I wish things could be different for me. I just want some help. I just need someone to save me. I'm so sorry for everything James."

I started balling my eyes out as I talked to him. I turned around and walked out of the doorway. "I'm such a shitty person. I-I don't deserve you, my s-subscribers, m-my fame, or anything else. I deserve this pain."

James turned me around. I looked him in the eyes. "Adam, don't you dare ever say that about yourself again. You don't deserve this pain or to feel this way. You are loved so much man, you deserve that happiness. I know this job is crappy sometimes and can just be hard to deal with but we're dealing with it together. I'm always here if you need me."

I loudly cry into James. I could hardly even stand up as I used him for support. He walked me to bed as I continued to sob. "It's ok buddy, let it all out." James said, and I did. All the anger, frustration, depression, and anxiety just poured out of me and James sat with me through it all. It was a good half an hour before I stopped crying. I didn't even know I could cry that much. It was practically the ugliest cry in history.

"You feeling better now?" James asked. I sniffled and dried my eyes. I did feel better, or at least more free. "Yeah, I'll be ok."

"You're so cute when you try and hide your feelings from me but you have to learn to let them out. It's ok to be vulnerable around me. You don't need to hide yourself."

I nodded and smiled. "Now go clean your face. I'm not kissing you with all the mucus and tears." I laughed at James' comment and quickly got up to wash off my face. We sat in bed and cuddled for the rest of the hour.

"Hey James, you still wanna go to that movie?"

"Pfft- Heck yeah! Grab some dinner right after?"

"You know me so well."