Dedicated to @We_R_glamb3rtz
Chapter 1 (Book 2)
*Adam's POV*
I open my eyes, blinded by the white light hitting my pupils. I was on the bathroom floor. I look around, blood on the floor & my hands. Where's Tommy? I walked out of the bathroom & closed the door behind me. I walked out of our room & walked downstairs. I reached the bottom to see Tommy sitting on the couch. He wasn't doing anything, just staring out of nowhere. I walked closer to him to see that his eyes were glossy. Seeing my baby like this breaks my heart.
"Tommy," I said. He turn his head towards me. "Why did you break your promise?" I asked.
"I can't handle it," he answered.
"Please, tell me what's wrong. I need to know," I sat next to him & cradled him. I look into his eyes, dull & the hazel color of his were gone. There was no love or life within them.
"You hurt me," he said.
"I would never hurt you, ever," I hugged tighter.
"How do I know it's you, Adam? How can I trust someone that likes to hurt me," he try to get out of my embrace, but I held onto him.
"Tommy, please look at me," I asked. He shot his head towards me, he forced himself to, "I would never hurt you. You have to know that a blade isn't a painkiller, it's morphine, temporary relief. I don't know what to do, Tommy. I wish I can take the pain away, I really do, I wish that I can take away the negative thoughts & feelings about yourself & I wish that," I try to hold back tears, "I wish that I won't have to lose you, forever. I love you, Tommy," I couldn't hold it in.
"I can feel it, Adam," he answered.
"W-what do you fee-l?" I asked through sobs.
"The monster inside me," he answered.
"Wha-at do you m-ean?" I asked.
"The monster that likes to hurt me. The one that likes to rip open my skin & enjoys it. I don't know who I am anymore, Adam," he try to hold in tears, "I just don't k-know."
All I can hear were Tommy's cry, through the silence in the empty room that we're both in. I rubbed his back to comfort him, "Shh, it's okay. It's okay," I said.
He pulled away from me & got up, "Don't you see, Adam. It's not okay. You say it's okay, but it's not! You're so blind!" he yelled.
"Tommy, please calm down."
"Calm down. Calm down! Adam, what's wrong with you! I can't calm down while this monster's inside me, devouring my very soul! Don't you see I'm a mess!"
"No, you're not," I try to calm him down by any means necessary or he'll break down.
"There you go again! Speaking of the the lies that I know that are the truth!"
I stood up, "I'm trying to show you things get better!"
"Bullshit, I'm tired of waiting! I've been judged, pushed down, brought down. I'm like a mat that everyone can step on! Aren't I, Adam! Aren't I?!"
"Please, calm down," I try to stay calm myself.
"No, I'm not being tolerated again! I don't want to be weak! I'm tired of being weak! I'm tired of being people's puppet, I'm tired of being your puppet!"
His vemon from his words hit me like daggers, "Tommy! My eyes are open, okay! I'm trying to protect you!"
"I don't need your protection, Lambert! I am my ownself & I will do as I please!"
"Well, it's a good thing I'm not a cock sucking faggot!" I covered my mouth when those words came out. Tommy anger disappeared, replaced with wide eyes & a broken heart, "Tommy, I-."
"No," he stepped away from me, "I don't need your excuse. I'm done," he walked past me. I grabbed his hand.
"Let go of me!" he try to get out of my grip. I pull him towards me.
"Stop struggling," I whispered. He stopped. "Please," I closed my eyes, "Don't leave me," I let go of his hand.& embrace him, "I'm afraid that I'm not capable to protect you. I love you, Tommy, can't you see I don't ever want to lose you. I keep it hidden. I don't want to show that I'm afraid. I keep my feelings hidden because I'm afraid of what the result would be. I j-," I got cut off by a pair of warm lips upon mine, I closed my eyes & pull him closer, deepening the kiss. My fingers tangled in his hair, he pulled back looking into my eyes.
"I understand," he said.
"You forgive me?" I asked.
"Yes," he answered. "I'm so sorry."
"You're not the one who should be sorry," I placed my hands on his hips, "I should be. I called you something that everyone called me for many years. I didn't think I had to say it to the person I love the most."
"Adam," he wrapped his arms around my neck, "You were just mad, that's all."
"No, Tommy. I'm so sorry, I just hated that word so much," I wrapped my arms around him, "The pain I felt, the loneliness, the lost of hope. I just hated it so much," I started cry, tears staining my cheeks, my head was on his shoulder & I gripped at the back of Tommy's shirt.
"Shh, I'm here." he rubbed my back, calming me down, "I'm not leaving you, ever. I attend to keep that promise to keep our love strong & living. I love you, Adam."
"I love you too, Tommy," I released my grip from his shirt & pulled him into a kiss. He pulled me closer to where there's was no space between us. I deepened the kiss with his arms around my neck. I had my hands on his hips, he pulled back.
"I forgive you," he hugged me.
"C'mon, let's get back to bed," I lifted Tommy up & carried him up the stairs. I layed Tommy on the bed, as I got in with him he hugged me.
"Hold me, keep me safe," he snuggled into my chest. What was he talking about I will always hold him & keep him safe.
"Safe from what?" I asked.
"Myself," he said.
A/N: I promised that I would never use the word 'faggot' in this story, but I've broke that promise. I hope you guys love this fanfic. I love it too. I know the dream that Tommy was a little graphic. I just wanted to say that I know how hard it is to try to fit in, but it does get better. I know the pain, I know the bullying, I know the feeling of not being 'normal' & I know the price that comes with it. I cutted before & now I know that isn't the answer. I know the feeling of not being good enough, but everything gets better. Please don't harm yourself, I don't ever want to see my Glamily hurt. I you need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you. I know the pain you're feeling, please stop. I'm here for you.
