tiktoks with Payton are always the funnest. I sit off to the side as I admire the boy from a distance. he smiles into the camera while lip syncing to the song that plays. Payton adores his fans. he's always talking about them and how much they mean to him. when he's happy with the final product of the video he posts it. I make sure to like it before setting my phone down. he rests on his bed until I walk over to him. I crawl over next to him and rest my head on his chest. he looks over at me but doesn't say anything. A sigh escapes my mouth as I play with the hem of his shirt. I feel fingers run through my hair, which sends chills down my spine. I begin to lift the bottom of his shirt up and catch a glimpse of his toned abs. my fingers run along the edges of them. a kiss gets planted on my head while I trace my boyfriends stomach with my fingers.
"what are you thinking about y/n?" payton asks quietly. I shrug and pull his shirt back down. "you," I say in response to his questions. "why me?" he questions pulling hair out of my face. "because I love you," I say simply, but with shyness in my voice. he doesn't respond to me right away and I begin to shut my eyes. "I love you too," he says in a soft soothing tone. I smile with my eyes closed and soon begin to relax.
"Payton I don't know how much longer I can do this," I say frustrated. He paces back and forth in his room as I sit in his chair. "y/n can't you just stop being a baby and grow up?! this is how it is! okay? and its always going to be this way," he says stopping to look over at me. I groan and put my head in my hands. "god you are so fucking annoying," he shouts loudly. luckily no one was home except us, so they didn't hear him, but I did. I flinched at his words causing tears to build up. Then suddenly his face changes and his eyes fill with regret. the wetness flows down my cheek and soon more follow. "y/n I-, " he says before stopping. He doesn't know what to do, until he moves closer to me taking me into his arms. "im sorry, I didn't mean it," he says hushing me. Sobs escape my mouth and thats when i completely break down. we sit on the floor together in a silence besides my crying. "shhh, hey hey hey look at me," Payton speaks, turning my body to face his. another tear beings to fall, but he wipes it away as soon as he sees it. "im sorry. Im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry," he repeats as I stare at his face. I recognize the guilt in his apologies and I almost feel bad. "you know how much I love you right?" he asks locking eyes with me. I nod slightly. "because, I- I love you so much I would go insane if I didn't have you. if you left me, there would be no more Payton moormeier. I can't even describe how I feel about you. Its sort of like I feel like Im floating a thousand feet in the air when you are around. my heart beats so fast it feels like Im going to die," he says almost giggling with causes to me giggle. "I feel the same way," I say giving him a goofy smile. "I guess this social media thing is getting to me," I say leaning into him. he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. "I know bub," he plants a soft kisses on my cheeks before speaking again. "but everything is going to be okay," he says reassuringly.
