prove it ; colby brock

4.2 - deep conversations.

"how do you think you'll die?" i asked colby... it almost came out as a light whisper though.

"huh?" he asked me with a little chuckle.

"how do you think you'll die?" i asked him again, turning my head to face his. we were laying on my bed, spinning a beatles record that i had heard one too many times.

"probably because of something stupid." he said, laughing. "hopefully just of old age, i guess." he admitted.

"if i died today, what would you do?" i questioned, genuinely just curious of his answer.

"i mean- i dont like thinking about that, but i'm sure id ugly cry... maybe throw on one of our favorite records and reminisce about how perfect you are and all of our beautiful memories. i would be heartbroken, though. i'd miss you like crazy. i'd probably never find love again... at least not love like this." he admitted, running his hand through my hair. "what would you do if i died?"

"i'd lock myself in my room and sob. or i'd go to all of our favorites places, everywhere that reminds me of you.... blast our favorite songs. i don't think i'd ever be able to stop thinking about you and when i'd get to see you again. you're my everything, id be a wreck without you." i said, smiling even though the thought was truly terrifying.

"what would you sacrifice your life for?" he asked me.

"you." i simply stated. "i'd do anything to see you in a constant state of happiness. probably nastassia as well. you two have been through a lot of shit with me. i'd do anything for you guys." i smiled.

"i'd probably say the same thing. any of our friends, really." he admitted. "i value you all above myself." he said, making me grin at him. lesa is right, he does have a huge heart... it just takes a lot of time and patience to see it.

"why do you think people are scared of things like flying or murderers whenever they're so much more likely to die while driving to the grocery store?" i asked him.

"people like to be able to think of their fears in a controlled environment." he said, making me look at him again. "if they think they can only die when in a plane, it's avoidable. they just won't go on planes. if they think they'll die going to the grocery store then they'll end up like shelia jackson off of shameless." he said with a light chuckle.

"i love being able to get a piece of your mind." i smiled. colby is a smart person and he has a lot going on in his mind... he just doesn't share it often. there's nothing wrong with that, he just likes to keep to himself. "what's one of your biggest fears?" i asked him, propping my head up on my arm.

"this is gonna be so cheesy." he groaned, throwing his head back. "losing you." he said.

"losing me?" i questioned, making him nod.

"yeah. i've gone through a lot of shit in my life... i've done drugs, i was basically an alcoholic, i went through a fuck boy phase, made my family hate me, the list goes on and on... but then we met and i feel like i have something to live for again. so i couldn't imagine what would happen to me if i actually lost you. that was so cheesy, i'm sorry." he groaned, laughing.

"no! that was so sweet." i smiled, giving him a quick peck. "do you have any major regrets?"

"probably not talking to my family for two years... or being a shitty human in general for two years." he laughed.

"hey, you had a rough patch... that's okay." i smiled.

"what about you... any major regrets for the very perfect princess ayla?" he joked.

"deciding to go to school in new york. i'm so not looking forward to that." i groaned.

"speaking of, what are we doing when you have to leave in a few months?" he asked me.