rage and recovery

i just keep rambling about you...when will you ramble about me too?

its never been like this

soft words on repeat in my mind

soft touches against my skin

i am consumed with you

blonde, blonde hair and blue, blue eyes

and strong hands and 

a smile that makes my heart

skip a thousand beats

and its stupid and i know

that i don't even know  where this is going,

but i want to go everywhere with you

and i want to hold your hand

and i want to feel your touch

and i want to hear all the stories

that you're too afraid to tell anyone else

and i want to know your middle name

and your favorite baseball team

and i want to know it all 

and i want to know it with you.

and this is weird and i hope you never read this

because i feel insane and wild-eyed

and its all because of you.

there's no fear with you

there's no weight on my chest

or sickness in my stomach.

there's only endless hours of me

laying in my bed, looking at the ceiling, 

thinking endlessly about you.

i thought all the people in those

stupid movies with the dumb one-liners

were insane when they talked about

not being able to get someone out of your head

but now i understand why they lost it

because no matter what i do

you're in the back of my mind

with your smile and your laugh

and your hands and your eyes

and all i see is you when i close my eyes. 

and if this is how i feel now

when all we've done is brushed hands

and looked a little too long into each other's eyes

then what the hell am i going to feel like

if my dreams actually come true

and i get to have you?