rage and recovery

how do you switch your heart so quickly?

my pride reminds me

that i am a goddess

with thousands of offerings

at the steps of my temple,

but my heart reminds me

that no matter how many

mortal men with their mortal hands

place offerings at the steps of my temple,

my heart still longs for that one man

with his sweet words and his soft hands

and his quiet demeanor and his silly smile

to take my hand and lead me out of this darkness.

but this quiet man with his soft hands

is nothing more than another man

that enchanted me with his soft words

and his sweet lips and his strong hands

only to stab me in the chest

as soon as i started to believe 

that his soft words were more than

the sickly sweet words of a man 

looking for nothing more than

the nectar of the flesh and 

the heat of my breath 

to take as another trophy

to show his wicked followers

with their wicked minds and 

their terrible, hateful hearts. 

all my life, mortal men have done nothing more

than whisper false words of false gods

against my skin 

and just when i stopped looking for

a man that would speak truth

against my lips,

you appear in my life

with your honeysuckle words

and your soft touches

and you inject hope into my veins,

and i get hooked on the sparkle in your eyes

and the sound of blood rushing in my ears,

and i let you take my heart in your hands

and before i know it,

you take my heart and you smash it

on the pavement

blood spattering against your jeans. 

if you wanted nothing more

than to feel the warmth of my flesh

and to conquer the calmness of my visage,

then why did you whisper all those 

sweet, sweet words of promise and hope

into the shell of my ear?

i can reconcile with a weak man

who seeks the warmth of another

honestly and openly,

but i can never accept the disrespect

of a man who speaks nothing but

sweet nothings and softness

into my mouth

only to take every single soft word back

and shove me away from his chest

as though i was the one

who begged at the foot of my bed

for me to be with you.

how can a man say such beautiful things,

only to reveal such horrible lies?