I wish I could let you go

love was madness

“When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.”

Something about this one paragraph from “Captain Corelli's Mandolin”, the book you were reading right now, spoke a lot to you. It made so much sense, and you just couldn’t stop extolling how amazingly the author of this book had put this message down in words. 

Love was definitely madness. It wasn’t something you could preferably play around with, cause if you messed with the idea of love, love would definitely teach you a lesson.
Thinking about all of this, you also wondered about Jungkook. It was true that his idea of starting over wasn’t that pleasing to you, but you knew your feelings were getting wavered because of this.




Besides, Jungkook had a fiancé, Irene, who was one of Korea’s top models, someone way better looking than you and someone much more qualified for Jungkook.
After all, he was the CEO of one of the biggest companies in Korea too. They were basically the most powerful couple in the country, at the moment and they also had a huge fan following. They were almost like a match made in heaven. There was no way Jungkook would choose you.

Speaking of which, you didn’t want him to choose you anyway. You knew he wasn’t the one for you. He left you once in high school, saying he had feelings for someone else which turned out to be Irene, who he is now going to marry very soon. You didn’t want to go through that again since you had already lost all the trust you had in him.

“Y/n, I made ramen, do you want some?” Jimin asked, as he peaked his head inside your room, looking at your laying figure with a fat book above your head. You sat up straight, placing the book on the bed as you nodded and walked outside. 



“There’s some kimchi in the fridge. My mom left a few side dishes too, get them please.” Jimin said, setting up two bowls on the dining table. “She visited?” you asked, opening the fridge as you pulled out the containers loaded with aromatic side dishes and fresh kimchi. 
“Yeah, today while we were at work.” Jimin answered as you took a seat opposite to him and watched him serve the two of you with some hot ramen. Soon enough, both of you were digging in, having an amazingly mouth watering feast.
“So how’s the café running?” Jimin asked, picking up a piece of raddish with his chopsticks. “Pretty good.” You said, chewing the kimchi. “Y/n, I can still take a day off if you want. You know, Kyungseok isn’t there so I think I can help you.” Jimin offered.
You shook your head. “It’s okay, he’ll be back in like four or five days and I can manage, don’t worry.” You convinced him as he nodded. “Jimin... Can I ask you something?” you started off after a few minutes, making him look up.
He waited for you to continue.



“I know... I know Jungkook broke up with me and everything, but... but what happened between you two. I mean, I don’t want to be the reason for breaking your friendship. You were both, best friends.” You said, your voice a little unstable.
“Y/n, Jungkook broke your heart. How do you expect me to STILL be friends with someone who treated my best friend like that. Besides, he’s someone with zero courage and he’s such a big wimp. He doesn’t know how to face certain situations and doesn’t know how to listen to his heart.” Jimin rambled on, making it look like he was really absorbed in what he was saying. 

“What do you mean by that?” you asked, a little confused. “Leave it... It’s...it’s nothing... Anyways, I’m done, I have to prepare a presentation, so you can go sleep now.” Jimin said, walking towards the sink as he placed his dishes and walked towards his room and closed the door, without saying anything.

You always wondered, whenever you got the topic of Jungkook in front of Jimin, why did he always refer to him as a coward or a wimp. It was something that you didn’t really give much thought into, but it was definitely becoming a lot more evident, now that you actually noticed how frequently he used those words.

You sighed, standing up from the chair as you walked towards the sink and proceeded to wash the dishes and keep the left overs inside the fridge.



FLASHBACK

“Y/n, are you sure you want to meet him? I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Jimin said, his voice a little lower than usual. It seemed like he already knew what was coming. Only he knew something, something that was nearly eating him out alive, but he wasn’t sure if he could tell you about it, yet.

He had to wait for Jungkook. The reason being, he didn’t really know what was going to be Jungkook’s next step. For all he knew, he had to pray, hoping it wouldn’t be what he was absolutely dreading at this point. Jungkook obviously had to make a wise decision, right?

“Jimin, he didn’t even come yesterday... Besides, he was the one who called me here. And what’s bad in meeting him? That’s something strange coming from you.” Y/n said, pushing herself on the swing. Jimin stood against the pole that held the two swings in the huge park. 
It was dark and it was almost 8:30 in the evening. His breath was hitching and his eyes were twitching. For some reason, Jimin knew something terrible was going to happen.

“Oh look, he’s here.... KOOKIE OVER HERE!!” Y/n called out, waving her hands in the air as Jimin turned his head to where she was looking and spotted the tall figure making his way towards the swings.



He wore a hoodie, a white one to be precise. Something that wasn’t new to Jimin, but every time he saw that figure coming more and more closer to where he was, the white colour started to hurt his eyes.

“Kookie, where were you yesterday?” Y/n asked, as she jogged towards Jungkook, holding his arm, a soft smile on her face. “Me?... Oh... I... I wasn’t at home.” He answered, stuttering a little as he strangely found it hard to look at you.
“Wait really, Jimin told me you weren’t well. We had come to call you yesterday...” Y/n asked, a little confused. Jungkook looked at Jimin, furrowing his eyebrows.
Jimin gulped, as he immediately shook his eyes of Jungkook. 

There was an odd silence, something that was very agonising. “Okay leave that, tell me, why did you want to meet me here?” Y/n asked, quickly shrugging off the eerie situation. Jimin let out a shaky breath as he pressed his head against the pole, looking at Jungkook who seemed to have a contingent face.

“Yeah about that... Y/n... Can we talk somewhere else... You know it’s private.” He said, slightly eyeing Jimin. Y/n furrowed her eyebrows, a little confused since this was something unusual.
Despite the fact they were a couple, Jungkook had never asked Y/n to talk to him in private especially when Jimin was there. It was understandable but yet very very bizarre.


Jimin raised his head, looking at the two with a stressed expression. He couldn’t believe what was happening. Maybe things were going exactly like his conscience. Y/n nodded, feeling a little out of place as she followed Jungkook to a much quieter place.

Jimin stood still by the swings, watching the two walk forward. He was still able to get a glimpse of them. Both Y/n and Jungkook stopped by a bench and took a seat. Jimin narrowed his eyes, still trying to keep his eyes on them.

“Y/n... You know that you’re an amazing person, right?” Jungkook started, feeling a little queasy. Y/n looked at him, her eyebrows knitting together. “You also know that...you’re probably something every guy would want...” Jungkook said again, speaking out words that didn’t exactly add up to Y/n.  

“Kook, what... What are you saying?” Y/n asked, holding his hand. “Y/n, you're amazing and I don’t want you to think otherwise. But there’s something that I really have to tell you.” Jungkook said.
Jimin still had his eyes fixated on them, he had walked forward now, and was currently crouching down behind a bush where he could hear everything.

“Y/n, I’m breaking up with you.” Jungkook said, closing his eyes, his grip tightening around her palm. “W-What?” Y/n asked, her eyes tearing up. “Y/n, you’re amazing... but... but I found someone else. I love her now, and... and not you.” Jungkook said, still his eyes firmly shut.

“I’m sorry, but I really have to go now. I hope everything’s clear.” Jungkook said, standing up as he let go of her hand. “But Jungkook....” Y/n called out, tears already streaming down her face. “Why...Why are you doing this...this to me...I thought... I thought you loved me.” She said, crying already. Her voice was trembling.

“Trust me, I did, but...not anymore.” Jungkook said as he walked away. Y/n dropped herself on the bench, covering her face as she sobbed, clutching onto her chest as she cried, her throat burning. 

Jimin heard everything as he couldn’t take it anymore. “Jungkook, wait!” he said, popping out of the bush as he stopped Jungkook on the way, pressing his palm on Jungkook’s chest. “Jimin?...What...Were you eavesdropping?” Jungkook asked, a little out of disbelief.

“Jungkook, I know you’re lying, please don’t do this to Y/n. You have to have another choice. Don’t do this.” Jimin probably begged at this point. “Jimin... What...What are you talking about. Didn’t you hear? I don’t love her anymore.” Jungkook said.

“Kook, don’t...don’t lie. Don’t be a coward. Please...please don’t do this.” Jimin said again. “Jimin, what’s wrong with you? I told you, I don’t love-“ Jimin cut off Jungkook as he punched him, making him hold his face in pain.
“You know what, you’re the biggest coward I’ve seen in my whole, entire life.”