I wish I could let you go

it wasn't you, it was me

You  nibbled on your lower lip, softly squeezing your fingers together as you kept glancing at Jungkook who seemed to be peacefully sleeping on your couch. Soft snores left his mouth as he kept snuggling closer to the small cushions that had been placed on your couch.

You looked over at the clock, realising it was almost 1:00 am. You had called up Irene, informing her that Jungkook was really drunk. She didn’t ask any other questions other than the address. You found it quite weird, but didn’t spare much thought into it. Suddenly you heard a soft knock on the door, as you walked towards it, knowing who it would be. 

“Y/n?” she asked, as you softly nodded, awkwardly smiling at her as you pursed your lips. You knew who Irene was, so it was easy for you to identify her. You had seen her so many times, on magazines, in newspapers, posters and a lot more other platforms. So many people in the country knew who she was. You guessed it was quite difficult for her to come out this late in the night.

“Where...Where is he?” she softly asked, a small smile on her face. “Oh you can... you can come in... He’s on the couch.” You said, moving away from the door as you let her in. She walked towards the living room, her purse hanging over her wrist as her fluffy coat rested over her shoulders. She was quite over dressed, but probably that was just something she’d wear everyday.

“Oh my god, looks like he’s really drunk.” She said, chuckling towards the end as she looked at Jungkook, passed out on your couch. She pulled out her phone, quickly dialling a number and pressing it on her ear. 

“Yeah, Mr. Eun, could you please come upstairs and help me get him down.” She said, immediately hanging up. “My driver...” she softly said as you nodded, understanding.

Not really talking, both of you awkwardly stood, Irene doing something on her phone while you just fiddled with your fingers. “Ma’am?” both of you heard, as you guys turned towards the door which was open and there stood a man wearing a black suit. “Come on in.” You said, quickly realising he was the driver.

He walked inside, greeting you softly as he went over towards the couch and gently pulled Jungkook, putting his arm over his shoulder and holding onto his waist. Irene nodded, gesturing for him to take Jungkook to the car.

Both of you looked towards the door as the driver walked away with Jungkook. “So, I’ll be heading out then.” Irene said, turning towards you, a bright smile on her face. You nodded, raising your eyebrows as you softly smiled at her.

She walked towards the door, turning around to face you again. “I’ll see you around.” She said, a smile on her face again as she stepped out and walked away.

You stood still in your living room, quite astounded and shocked. How was Irene so cool about all of this? She didn’t question you nor did she try to doubt you. She simply came and collected what she had to and left. She was super nice, and for a fact, that scared the death out of you.

What if she was secretly planning to murder you, leaving absolutely no evidences behind. Or what if she was planning to abduct you and torture the fuck out you, probably even electrocute you and force the truth out. 

Okay, now you were just over thinking. You let out a huge breath, ruffling your hair as you closed the door, switched off all the lights and walked inside your room.
Sleeping on your bed, you looked up at the ceiling, trying your best to just understand everything. Obviously, it didn’t seem right. She seemed like a nice person, but however nice a person is, to get mad at someone who was with their lover, is reasonable.
You clicked your tongue, shaking your head as you flipped over the bed and switched off your bed lamp.
You had to open your café tomorrow.

“No keep them over there.” You said, pointing at a higher rack as Kyungseok balanced himself on the ladder, arranging all the new books that had come in. “Yeah, now keep these above them.” You said, handing him another bunch.
“Excuse me, can I get another red velvet cupcake?” somebody yelled from the other side of the café. “Don’t worry, continue with your work, I’ll help them out.” You said, giving another bunch to Kyungseok and jogging towards the kitchen. You quickly placed a small cupcake on a ceramic plate and gave it to the person who wanted it. 

Just when you were about to go back to where Kyungseok was, you heard someone call out your name. Turning towards the direction from where it came, you felt a little out of place once you saw who it was.
“Irene?” you asked, your eyes big as she walked towards you, her heels clinking on the wooden floor. “Hey, yeah, it’s me. So...this is your book store huh?” she asked, a bright smile on her face as she looked around. You didn’t answer, still kinda shocked as to why she was here.

“Anyways, I don’t have much time.... So if you don’t mind, can we please talk for sometime? You know, we couldn’t talk properly yesterday.” she said, looking back at you, a soft smile on her face. You looked at her, your lips apart, utterly confused. “Can we?” she asked again, tilting her head.

You gulped, nodding as you lead her towards a quieter region, taking her to the small circular table for two people. She was wearing a huge hat, probably so that nobody would recognise her. That’s why, you took her to a place where there weren’t any people. Both of you sat down, facing each other.

You basically could see everything that was going to come your way now. It was, in fact, really exasperating because you honestly couldn’t control your anxiety level. 
“So, I won’t be here for long....but...” she placed her small purse on the table, unzipping it and digging through it. She pulled out a few cards, which looked like photographs to you. She placed it on the table, slowly pushing it towards you.

“Care to explain this?” she asked, moving her hand away from the pictures. You were right. You were caught red handed by Jungkook’s fiancée. Right on the table laid two pictures of you and Jungkook, kissing.
It was that night, on the rooftop of your high school. It looked like the person who took this was standing below a tree since there were a few leaves and branches at one corner of the rooftop. You stared at the two photographs, both captured at a similar angle, your fingers trembling.

“If you’re wondering how I got this, Jungkook’s a pretty big man and he happens to have a lot of fans that follow him around, and this fan, right here, happened to also be my fan and they sent these to me.” Irene said, crossing her arms as she rested back on the chair.

You looked up at Irene, letting out a deep breath. “I....I don’t know what to say. I’m...I’m really sorry.” You said, shutting your eyes as you squeezed your knees. “What’s your relationship with  Jungkook?” she asked, now leaning forward as she rested her elbows on the table.

You licked your lips, looking everywhere but her. You knew you couldn’t answer. To tell her that you were Jungkook’s ex made you feel so pathetic. You obviously didn’t want her to think of you as someone who is still so stuck up with her ex. 

Not receiving an answer from your side, Irene tapped her nails on the table, the ticking sound giving you goosebumps. “You’re...his ex, right? Way back from high school?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.
You looked at her, dumbfounded. “How...How do you know?I mean...did...did Jungkook tell you about me?” you asked, a little loud.

“Y/n, let me tell you one thing, Jungkook has never been open to me....and how I know about you? Well, despite the fact I didn’t go to the same high school as both of you, I do know many people from your high school. And turns out they’re all the girls who’ve had crushes on Jungkook and have often envied you for dating Jungkook.” She said, chuckling at the end.

You still didn’t know what to say. You were completely shocked. But what felt extremely uncomfortable was how Irene was so mature with you. She didn’t rage out on you, demanding you for an explanation. She seemed to know how to handle this issue quite well. She wasn’t crying nor was she screaming at the top of her lungs, insulting you.

“Irene....I know what I did was wrong, and it was honestly very shameless of me to do that with someone who has a fiancée. I’m just really, really sorry.” You said, looking at her, as you placed both of your hands on the table.

“Y/n, you don’t have to apologize.” She said.
“Wait what, what do you mean? I really have no right to be sitting like this with you. You know what, I honestly deserve so much of pain for whatever I’ve done. I should’ve reminded myself that what Jungkook and I had, was all in the...in the past.” You said, looking at her, almost getting mad at your own self.

“And you know what, I’m just really stupid to still love someone who doesn’t belong to me anymore. You deserve to punish me for that...” you said, looking at her, an apologetic expression on your face. 

“Y/n, you’re not stupid.” She said, pursing her lips as she pulled her chair closer.
“Irene, I am stupid. I’m the one who came in between you and Jungkook.” You said.
“Y/n, it wasn’t you, it was me.” She said, her expression quite confusing for you to understand.

“What...What do you mean?” you asked, your throat itching.

“Y/n, you didn’t come between me and Jungkook. I’m the one who came between you and....Jungkook.”