I wish I could let you go

please love me back

“Jungkook what are you doing here?” you asked again as you looked at the tall boy in front of you, standing with his lower lip puckered forward, not exactly pouting. “I...I think there’s a few things...we...we need to talk about.” He said, this time running his fingers against his jaw.

“Jungkook, I don’t think so....let’s just...let’s just pretend nothing ever happened....okay?” You said, already pushing the door close, but that was stopped by his foot. “Y/n...please just let me in. I really wanna talk to you and just set everything right.” He said, lowering his head as he looked at you, searching for your eyes.

“Just...just tell me whatever you have to and leave. Don’t make a scene out of it... Or...do anything weird.” You said, a little stiff. He nodded as he walked in, closing the door behind him as you walked towards  the living room, sitting on an individual couch.

Jungkook sat down too, facing you as he crossed his fingers together, placing them on his lap. It looked like he was really nervous, probably holding in something he was really afraid to share.

“Y/n.... That night...on the rooftop.” He started. “Jungkook, if it’s about what happened there, then I just want you to know that I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry for that, I know you have a fiancé and everything, and that’s totally not acceptable-“



“Y/n, wait.” You were cut off, making you look at him. “Can we...Can we please not talk about “pretending like nothing ever happened”, cause that’s just something I cannot do right now.” Jungkook said, narrowing his eyes.

“What do you mean, you cannot do it? You HAVE to do it, Jungkook. We aren’t kids anymore, and that kiss literally meant nothing. You have a fiancé, do you really think she’d be proud if she gets to know about this?” you asked, your voice a lot more louder than before.

“Y/n, that’s not the point, I just-”
“You just, WHAT JUNGKOOK?! How many times do I have to tell you, PLEASE don’t get anything that happened that day, up. Because trust me, even if it’s something you can’t forget, it’s something I WANT to forget. I don’t want to get inside your bullshit again and only end up getting wretched like a loser. Cause trust me, it feels pathetic. You left me once, claiming to love someone else, I don’t want to go through that again.” You were standing now, glaring at Jungkook as your eyes turned red, almost popping out of their sockets.

“Y/n, please calm-” he was cut off again. “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, JUNGKOOK. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME? YOU’VE BROKEN ME APART.... COMPLETELY. PLEASE, PLEASE DON’T TRY TO STEP INTO MY LIFE. JUST... PLEASE, DON’T.” You said, closing your eyes as you covered your eyes, starting to sob.
The pain you had been bottling up for all this while, seemed to hit you somewhere. That’s why you were feeling so overwhelmed and ravaged. Every single painful memory seemed to brush against you, making you shudder internally. You never knew you were THIS devastated in reality.




You felt a pair of soft palms come in contact with the surface of your arms as you sobbed. Jungkook softly held you as he crouched down a little, trying to get a glimpse of your face. “Y/n....please...please don’t cry.” He said, trying to make you sit down.

Once you were on the couch, still crying, he knelt down, right in front of your knees. He slowly moved your hands away from your face as he gazed at the tear stains spread across your face.
“Y/n....I still...I still love you...in fact....I never stopped loving you.” He said, looking at you. You looked at him, quite stunned by what you heard. “What....What the fuck are you saying?” you whispered, narrowing your eyes.
“Y/n, please just listen to me. Please give me a-”

“Jungkook, get out.” You said, moving your eyes away from him as you wiped your face, slightly pushing him as you stood up.
“Y/n-”

“What part of “get out” do you not understand?” you spat, glaring at him as he stood up too.
“Are you here to explain yourself and invite me to be your side chick, cause that kiss just turned you on so damn much that I literally can’t get out of your tiny little head? Let me just break it up to you, I am so not interested.” You spoke, hate and vexation painted in your raspy voice.

Standing right in front of him, your eyes pierced against his as you glared at him, his whole figure burning in your vision. “Y/n, you’re getting it all wrong-” Jungkook was cut off again. But this time, it wasn’t you speaking, but it was your hand, coming in contact with his cheek.




“Get. Out.” You said, a break in between the two words as you probably emphasized on how much you meant that.

“I don’t ever want to see you again. Go to your fiancée and be needy with her.” You said, turning around as you walked to your room, slamming the door. Jungkook's breaths were heavy as he held his face, not exactly out of physical pain, but out of pure agony.

He was able to see the amount of hate you held for him. Probably, there was no way he was getting you back. He slowly walked towards the main door, closing it behind him. He swallowed his tears, knowing he shouldn’t let it out. After all, he had some pride too.

Jungkook started his car, gulping down the sadness in him, again. Minutes later, his phone started ringing and he lifelessly reached out for it. “Hello?” he said, not really paying attention to the caller ID. “Jeon, how did it turn out? Were you able to tell her the truth behind you and Irene?” Jimin asked, a little excited.
“Hyung....she...she hates me.” He said, his voice breaking. Jimin was silent for a while, contemplating how sad his friend actually was. “Jeon...don’t...don’t worry, I’ll think of something else....okay?” he said, softly. Jungkook sniffled as he managed to say a weak “Yeah.” and then ended the call.


"He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning-fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips' touch she blossomed for him like a flower and the incarnation was complete."

Softly brushing your finger against your lower lip, an unnoticeable smile embracing it, you read along the lines of  “The Great Gatsby”.  Those lines sure did seem very poetic and romantic, but they somewhat brought up the memories of what had happened on the roof top, a few days back.

It had been 2 days since Jungkook had come to your house. You simply decided to ignore his presence in your life and in this world, cause that was the ONLY way you could move on with your life. Currently, it was pretty late, around 11:30 in the night.

Jimin wasn’t home since he had to urgently fly over to Busan for some work. So you were gladly spending time by yourself, still actively participating in your self isolation.
You had decided to open the café tomorrow. You guessed Jungkook wouldn’t show up after you had slapped him.



Suddenly you heard the door bell ring, repeatedly going on and on. Your eyebrows knitted together, completely confused as to who was doing this, that too, this late. You guessed it was probably some prankster going around, fooling across the building. But you walked up closer to the door and peeked through the tiny peep hole.

Not being able to recognise who it was, you slowly opened the door, only enough for your head to peep out. Once you did that, you saw Jungkook, his eyes closed, his head resting on the door frame. His cheeks were red, his lips were swollen and his hair was messy.

“Jungkook? What....what are you doing here? Again?” you asked, now completely opening the door. He didn’t say anything, his eyes were still closed and it looked like he was going to pass out.

“Jungkook?” you called out again, this time shaking his arm as he instantly opened his eyes, blinking a few times. “Oh....Y/n....Y/nnieeeee~” he slurred as he giggled and cupped your face, his eyes half closed. “Jungkook...are you...are you drunk?” you asked, a little shook as you immediately held his arm, making sure he wouldn’t just fall off.

“Y/nnieeeee how are youuuuu?~~” he asked, this time dragging each word as he squished your face, compressing your lips too. You pulled him in, his entire body weight falling on you as you dropped him on the couch. “Come....cuddle MEEEEE.” He whined, pouting as he raised both of his arms in the air, trying to pull you.

“Jungkook, you’re....you’re drunk. Just go back to sleep.” You said, kneeling down as you stroked his hair. You held his head tightly, making sure he wouldn’t try to get up as you patted his forehead, trying to get him to sleep. “Y/nnieeeee I’m not sleepy....please cuddle me.” He said again, this time pouting more as he turned to face you, still on the couch.

Your faces were so close. You could easily see how sleepy his eyes were. His lips were blood red, a little swollen. “Ugh why did you get drunk if you couldn’t handle all of this? And on top of that, you decided to come here, out of all the places in the world.” You groaned, walking towards the bedroom as you pulled out a blanket and draped it over him.

Suddenly you heard him sniffling. “Jungkook....are you...are you crying?” you asked, baffled as you scanned his face, tiny tears trickling down his nose. “You...you won’t call me Kookie anymore.” He cried, sniffling again. “Jungkook, please go to sleep.” You said, clicking your tongue. “No, call me Kookie....you haven’t called me that...since...since high school.” He said, looking at you with his lips crinkled.

“Jungkook.....okay fine, Kookie....Kookie, go to sleep.” You said, stroking his forehead again. He closed his eyes, as he softly smiled.

Minutes later, you stopped and sat back down on the ground as you sighed. You reached out for your phone trying to see what you could do with him. There wasn’t anyone you could call for help as well.
“Will you ever love me back?” you heard, as you looked at Jungkook who had his eyes partially opened. “Please love me back.” He whispered, closing his eyes again. “I don’t.....I don’t even want to be with her....but....I was being forced...” Jungkook’s voice faded away as he drifted off to sleep.

“Jungkook?” you called, kneeling again as you went close towards his face. What exactly was he talking about. Who was Jungkook referring to when he said “her”? Was it Irene? And what did he mean by “forced”? “Jungkook?” you called out again, slightly shaking him.

Failing many attempts, you knew he wouldn’t wake up. You groaned again, frustration running through your whole body. You didn’t really get a hang of what he said, but something definitely wasn’t right. But for now, all you had to worry about was what to do with him.

You raised yourself, pulling the blanket off Jungkook as you hesitantly searched for his phone in one of his pockets. By god’s grace, you found it within one attempt. Realising he had a fingerprint lock, you pulled his hand towards yourself as you scanned his thumb, which again, by your amazing luck, got unlocked.

You opened up his contacts, scrolling through it, wondering who you could text or call. As you scrolled and scrolled, you stopped by the contact named “Irene.”
You wondered if calling her was a good idea.

For starters, she probably didn’t even know you and would probably freak out if she found out that her fiancé was in another woman’s house, that too, drunk. But to be honest, there was nobody else who would be responsible for this drunk male.
After a lot of thought, you finally pressed her ID.