Avengers Oneshots

bloody hands

Angst

Ever since Ben died Peter never stopped blaming himself, whenever he looks at his hands all he can see is Ben's blood. He keeps washing and washing his hands to the point where they'll bleed, he hates this feeling but he can't let it go.

He was there when Ben died, he could've done something. Instead he chose to hide when the mugger approached them, it should've been him but he was too much of a coward so instead Ben stepped in and got himself killed.

May noticed the change in Peter ever since, he never seemed to stop washing his hands or atleast fiddle with them. he's also quieter, like the child within him just packed his bags and left. She's tried to help him multiple times but he always refused, putting up the 'im ok' act not to worry anyone.

But sometimes it just gets too much, he'll spend hours in the bathroom crying until he's exhausted. Everytime he closes his eyes at night all he can see is Ben's dying face, eyes slowly loosing the light they previously had, skin slowly going pale by the minute, breathing staggered until there's none left.

After Ben's death Peter's been falling behind on his studies unable to stay awake and concentrate on his work, he can feel the eyes looking at him with pity burning through his skull. Everyone giving their condolences to him but he knows all of these mean nothing, none of them care, they all just feel bad for a nerdy loser loosing his uncle.

Peter knows he's not the only one grieving, aunt may also lost somebody, Ben was her husband, her soulmate, her bestfriend, her everything. And now he's just gone, Peter feels responsible for Ben's death so he's tried to make everything easier for May.

He doesn't complain, he eats whatever food is on the table, he tries to help around the house and give may less work. He's picked up a job at Delmar's to help with the bills, he knows he shouldn't have to, being 13 and all that. But he feels the need to, Peter's not deaf, he can hear his aunt crying in her room late at night hugging what used to be Ben's pillow.

He hopes all of this will end soon, like the gloomy cloud that surrounds them will soon lift letting them see the light again. He want's to be happy again, not having the need to wash his hands every few seconds and not see blood anymore. He wants to hear May laugh and be happy again, they'll have their movie nights and eating larb on the weekends instead of staying in their rooms doing nothing but cry.

Only time will tell..

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Hey! I honestly don't know where I was going with this cause I sorta lost my train of thought half way writing this, anyways hope you enjoyed this anyways.

Nah who am I kidding, this is trash.

Anyways, how's quarantine been treating y'all?.

-author k.