Loving Ms. Winters

31: Blair's POV

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM @MorganGiglioBooks OR JOIN OUR DISCORD SERVER (LINK IN BIO) FOR EXCLUSIVE CONTENT AND UPDATES!

***

~2 Weeks Later~

I took a swig from my third Mikes hard of the day as I typed the last few sentences of my newest book. I had always focused on children's books as well as illustrating but over the past year I finally decided to write an adult novel. The book itself was fiction and was about a young lesbian woman whose about eighteen. She ends up dying and sees what happens after death, a whole new life. It's a concept I had worked hard on and planned to eventually turn it into a series. As I finished the book as well as my drink all I could think about was telling Alice. Realizing that wasn't really an option at the moment I sighed and sent the document over to my editor before shutting down the computer. My vision was blurred slightly and I could feel my hands shaking even at the thought of her, at the thought of the woman I had fallen for. I shook my head clearing the memories from my mind and got an idea. I quickly looked in my closet for copies of my old books and smiled to myself. I had been thinking about how to win her back from the moment she slammed her door in my face but had no clue how until now.

~2 Weeks Later~

It was hard to wait but my publisher had gotten me an early copy of my new novel. I smiled to myself as I flipped through it and then added it to the box of my other books. I put the lid on top and then wrapped it up in the paper messily. It wasn't perfect but it was at least presentable. I wrote out a tag before taping it down and then let out a breath. I had been planning this for the past few weeks and had only grown more nervous with time. It was now Christmas Eve and I intended on trying to make things right with Alice.

I tucked the present under my arm and made my way through the snow to my car. It took a few minutes to warm up which only left me more anxious as I thought over what I would say to her. It had been almost a month and I missed her more than I've ever missed anyone in my entire life. I had spent most of my time since we broke up drinking, writing, and wishing I could go back in time to take back everything that had happened. I had come to terms with the reality that time travel wasn't really an option and had been plotting ways to win her back since.

I drove carefully through the streets of colorful lights and slushy snow. When I pulled in her driveway I could see her looking out through the window but couldn't quite make out her facial expression through the streaks of water and ice. I grabbed the gift and trudged up to her door nervously waiting for her to open it.

It slowly swung back revealing the woman I had missed dearly and she awkwardly smiled "Hello Blair."

"Merry Christmas Alice." I whispered handing her the box

It was wrapped in Christmas themed sponge bob wrapping paper and the tag had somehow caused a slight tear in the paper.

She looked up at me cautiously but took the gift "Thank you but you really didn't have to do this Blair. It's freezing though, you can come in if you'd like."

She seems almost as nervous as I am.

"Thank you." I nodded as I stepped inside

She quietly closed the door and watched me struggle to pull my boots off before we sat down in the living room.

She tore at the paper and then pulled the top off of the box before looking up at me "You got me all of Bac's books?"

"Even the unreleased novel that comes out soon." I grinned curious to see if she'd connect the dots

She bit her lip and then looked up at me "Why though?"

"Blair Aria Collins." I replied giving her a smirk "B, A, C, they're my initials Alice."

"You're Aria Bac?" She gasped looking down at the books before looking back up at me "Holy shit, you're like one of the most well known authors for children's books in the world."

"I am." I nodded with a small smile "And I'm actually revealing my true identity during the book release, look at the first page."

She picked up the novel and opened it with a curious look on her face before reading aloud "Hello dear readers, many of you have now grown older and many of you are still young. This is my first adult fiction book and I am extremely excited for its release. As many of you may now know, my name is Blair Aria Collins. I write under the name Aria Bac because I am only just now a senior in high school. I have been a published author since I was very young and I wanted to enjoy my childhood without being in the spotlight. I hope you all understand and I look forward to meeting many of you on the book tour this summer!"

"I wanted to show you who I really am Alice. I know that everything has been crazy but you are the only thing that makes sense right now. I have never been confused about my feelings for you Alice, I've missed you every second. I'm just asking for another chance, I can't lose you babe, I think I'm falling in love with you." The words just formed without me even thinking and my face felt hot as I searched her eyes for any form of a reply

She stood frozen for a moment before she grabbed and pulled me in for a heated kiss. I had missed this, everything felt right at this moment as the electricity surged through me.

As she pulled away and smiled nervously "I think I'm falling in love with you too miss Collins."

"God I missed you." I stated as I pulled her in for another kiss

She grinned as we parted "I'm a very missable person."

"Is that even a word?" I chuckled

She rolled her eyes at me "I think so."

The past month without her had been absolute hell and I had fallen back into my old habits rather quickly. As I looked over at her I felt my chest tighten at the thought of explaining everything that had happened over the past month.

"We should finally talk about what happened though before we jump back into things. You really hurt me Blair, I've been like a zombie since I saw you with that girl and I can't get the image out of my head." She stated calmly looking up at me, pain evident in her expression

I sighed running my fingers through my hair "I can be irrational when I'm upset but there's still no excuse for how I reacted. I promise I didn't fuck her though, you have to belive me."

She nodded biting her lip "I believe you."

"I should've talked to you sooner but you were just angry with me and it only seemed fair to give you some space at the time." I explained unable to meet her gaze "I've been so childish and I've made so many mistakes that I felt like it was a lost cause to even try and get you back. It was so hard to see you at school and know I wouldn't be sneaking over to your house as soon as the bell rang. I was so lost without you and even when we were apart you were still my sanity in some ways. You were the only thing keeping me going and keeping me from falling apart completely because I held onto the ounce of hope I had left."

~3 Weeks Ago~

I strutted into the room giving Alice a confident smirk as I swayed my hips back and forth on my way to my desk. Even though I wasn't looking at her I could feel her eyes on me and I confirmed it when I turned around and took my seat. Her eyes bore into mine, dark with an unreadable emotion. I hadn't seen her since we broke up but break was now over until winter recess. The past week had mostly consisted of me drinking, writing, and crying on repeat. I had already gotten drunk before school by taking a few shots of vodka, the moment I woke up it was all I could think of to calm my nerves.

Knowing I would see her today I had stashed the bottle in my bag and taken a few swigs in between classes. My head was spinning slightly as she stood to start class and I felt myself drawn to her even now. She looked beautiful today, she had chosen a beautiful sun dress and a jean jacket that looked absolutely adorable on her. I quickly caught myself and my heart broke all over again as the realization that she wasn't mine to adore anymore hit me. It was stronger than any liquor, weed, or drug in the world and the pain coursed through me like razor blades as I let my head hit my desk.

***

(A/N) Want to talk and connect with other readers and writers? Use the link in my bio to join our discord server! 💬