1D + 5SOS preferences

Liam Payne Imagine Part 2

(His P.O.V)

Letter two

"I'm sorry all the time, (Y/N). I just can't do it anymore. I'm so close to give up my courange. I've been in pain for 7 months, and you are still asleep. How can you sleep so many hours, so many days, so many months? Do you miss me at all? Do you think of how much i've been through for you? Do you know who i become these past months?

You miss so much, when you all the time lie in that stupid bed and sleeps. When you lie there helpless, with a cold, white body and it looks like you cam get the machine to beep every minute. It looks like you can die every minute. But i don't give up - that would i never do.

I startet to be more happy, when i come away from you (don't misunderstand me, i love you with all of my heart, but i needed to get my mind on somethings else). I learned to be social again. And that meant that we could be on tour again. But i pretended to be a little more happy than i was. That was maybe a mistake (Y/N). That it all was like how i almost used to be, the pain came back. Not just in the afternoon when i think about that you don't come to the bed and read in you stupid book - that you love - kissed me goodnight and cuddled in to me. The pain was there for when i waked up to when i fall asleep.

I have nightmares all the time. They are about you. It's the same every night. The doctors call and tell me that you're awake, and when i come down to the hospital after 10 minutes, you're dead. The doctors said that you didn't loved me anymore, and then you just pulled out the drops, and them from the machine pulled you out too. Do you understand how that wakes me up, and why i cry the rest of the night? Promise me that your last words won't be that you don't love me anymore. Then i will be unhappy. I will be broken for ever inside.

You should think i would be stronger and stronger, but i been weaker. I mist my courange every night, (Y/N). Baby, would you just wake up now. I do all you set me to do! Please? For me! Why do still sleep. I said you should wake up. WAKE UP, NOW (Y/N)! Wake. Up. Now. Baby. Wa- i just can't do this anymore without you, is that okay? Is it okay to confess that you're a failure, because i wasn't that hero i should have been from the start? I'm just not that hero (Y/N).

(Y/N).... I..... I don't know what i should whrite, because every thing i whrite right now, then i start crying, and i'm not sure that i can stop again. My heart is in a big pain. It hurts like hell for you, because i miss you like hell. But soon i can take the both of our pain anymore. I can't live like this anymore.

You don't know how it is to go for 7 months and blame it all on yourself for what happened to you. If i just had drived, i would have take another way, and they would not have been after you. In theas 7 months i've tried to find the people who hit you. The one there did this to you, (Y/N), and drove you of the mountain. If they just haven't been drunk this would never have happened to you or me. If they never had hit you, you will be here next to me. Then i wouldn't have been at the same hospital for several months, just for you. Then my heart wouldn't been brooke, but it will be like it used to be.

The boys have it fairly good. You know how i am when i try to hide things from people so they can't feel my pain. It's hard (Y/N). It's hard to see you sleep through 7 months and don't hear your beautiful vice for 7 months. You haven't etaed anything or drinked anything and you can see it. It doesn't fit to you, angel. You need to be healthy and beautiful again. You will allways be beautiful, but need to be yourself again. Please, (Y/N).

I woke up again last night. It's the same nightmare EVERY night, and i just can't take it anymore. It's so real (Y/N). I always think they are real, and then i just cry the rest of the night. The worst thin is that Niall slept over in the get room. He came in to me and when he saw that i was crying he ran up in the bed and hugged me. He conforted me, and lisented to all i need to say, all that i had keeped inside my head. That night i just neded someone to talk to, and that someone was Niall.

I can't sit in teh same chair with my hand locked in yours, and look at how you relax. Do you relax? Can you hear when i read my letters to you out loud? Can you hear when i cry next to you? Can you feel my hand touch you cheak, and say 'everything will be okay'?Can you feel my kisses in you hair, on your cheak and on your forehead? How does it feel to lie there all the time? Do you think of answer me? All the questions only you can answer is driving me crazy. I'm heartbroken and hurt. I just can't take it anymore (Y/N).

I'm sorry (Y/N), i need to let your let you down. I need to move on. I'm setting our condo up for sale. I'm moving friday. Only 4 days (Y/N). I need to take a brak from all this. My heart isn't big enough right now for all this.

I'm sorry to let you down - for not to be the hero you need.

I will still pay so that you can be alive. I'm paying even though i'm leaving, so you can sleep save in the same bed until you wake up. And when you wake up i'm coming back. I promise you i come back when you wake up. you have my word.

I'm sorry it ends like this, but i can't do this anymore to my self, to my family and to my friends. They hate to see me like this and know they have seen me like this in 7 months.

I love you with all my heart

Your lost Liam. "