The Fullmetal Host (a FMA and OHSHC crossover)

Disasters Happen...

*Third Person POV*

The gun barrel hadn't moved a muscle from its spot on Tamaki's nose. Hawkeye wasn't going to move until she got some answers.

"Tell us where we are." She commanded, raising the pistol to his forehead. Tamaki flinched. "O-Ouran Academy, more specifically the high school. You are standing in the Host Club, located in Music Room #3!!" It took alot of effort for him to not bow and give her a rose. It looks like she's married, anyways... Wouldn't want the husband getting pissed, now would I? Hawkeye finally removed her gun from Tamaki's forehead and put it back in her gun holster.

"Now, how did you guys get here? I'm quite curious." Kyoya asked. "I have the feeling you aren't from anywhere... close." He did his signature glasses push-up.

"We are from Amestris, the democratic country of our world. Military control is quite wide, and I wouldn't be lying if I said I've never killed and innocent person. Roy Mustang, Fuhrer of Amestris." Roy said, stepping forward and holding his hand out to Kyoya. He almost took it, but Roy was too quick and snapped, turning to aim at the fireplace(let's just say they have one...).

No fire. He snapped again. No flames. He used both hands and snapped furiously this time. Nothing. "D*** you, gloves! What is this place, an alchemy-proof building?" Team Mustang snickered, but just ended up laughing so hard that tears were coming out if their eyes(except for Hawkeye). "Shaddap!! Like you could do any better!" Shaking his head, Edward walked forward and placed his arm on Mustang's shoulder (yes, he's tall enough to do that). "Tsk, tsk, Roy. Can't even use your alchemy. What a shame.."

"Then you try!!!"

"Alright, I will!" Ed clapped and slapped the ground. Nothing for him, either. Little did they know, this was Earth, and there is no alchemy here. I wish there was, though....

"Ha! You see?!" The Host Club just watched the pointless quarrels of the strangers from "Amestris."

Tamaki finally got fed up and yelled, "Alright! Listen up!" The room slowly hushed. "Good. Now, the few women here, please go with Haruhi-" He pointed to her "-and the rest of you--the men-- come with us." Tamaki walked over and opened the large doors, waving to Haruhi and telling her to have fun.

--Washroom Wing--

"Okay, first things first. Those of you who even look dirty will be washed." Tamaki said. He then strode over to Hikaru and Kaoru. He whispered, "You two take the blond young man. We'll take care of the rest of them." He winked.

"Sure, boss." They said. They dragged Ed into a small bathroom and closed the door. Hikaru turned on the water. "Alright, strip."

"What?! Why?"

"You're taking a bath, smart one. We'll turn around, so just take your clothes off." They both turned and waited.

"Alright, I'm out." Ed said nervously. The twins turned around to see a naked Edward covering the lower part of his body with his hands. "What do you want me to do now?" This was the first time they had noticed his automail. "Hm.. Fascinating. Boss might wanna see this. Bo-oss!" Kaoru called. Tamaki opened the door in no time at all. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. Come in here, this is pretty interesting." Hikaru said, waving him in. Tamaki stepped in and saw Ed's automail.

"Wow! What do we have here?" He said, bending over and examining the mechanic leg.

"DO YOU GUYS JUST WANT ME TO STAND HERE NAKED WHILE YOU EXAMINE ME?!?!"

"Yeah, pretty much." Kaoru said, still acting pretty chill. "So, how did you get this? Not, like, from who or where but why?" Ed paled at this question.

"That's something I'm not very open about... especially since I don't even know you that well." Hikaru and Kaoru shrugged and pushed him in the tub, which was filled with water. It splattered pretty much everywhere. "Well, you have all the time in the world to tell us about that later. Alright, Boss, you can go if you want." Hikaru dismissed him. Tamaki nodded and walked out, making sure to close the door behind him.

"Hold your breath." They said.

"Wh-- mmph!!" Edward's head was pushed under the soapy water. Of course, the twins made him stay under for almost two minutes. Why? Just 'cuz.

When he finally was allowed up, Ed was gasping for air. "Why would you... do that..." Yet again they shrugged. Hikaru turned him around and Kaoru handed him the shampoo. "Touch the hair and you die!" Ed said, a dark aura appearing in the room.

"Fine, then you do it." Hikaru said, handing Ed the shampoo.

"Okay, I will." Geez. Ed thought.

While he was washing his long, beautiful golden hair, the Hitachiin twins observed his arms and hands. They noticed that his right arm was slightly thinner and not as muscular as his left. This guy's suspicious... Kaoru thought.

。。。。。。。。。。
Ah ha ha ha sorry CLIFFHANGER! In these next few chapters, be prepared for lots of loudness, fights, caps, and I might start uploading videos! So, continue on with life, my friends, and wait for thy next chapter of this unholy crossover... 哦他库李分。(otaku life)