The Fullmetal Host (a FMA and OHSHC crossover)

Let the Disaster Commence

*Third Person POV*

The morning sun in Resembool was blinding. Ed could barely keep his eyes open as soon as he opened them. He stretched his arms and yawned. Leaning over and kissing his fiance's cheek, he leaped(yeah, literally) out of bed, hopped down the stairs, and walked into the kitchen. No, he wasn't drunk or anything, it just felt like it was going to be a good day for him.

Ed tried to make breakfast as best he could, but he hadn't cooked in a few months. It just turned out to be a burnt dish. Even the plate was slightly burnt. "Well, crap..." He muttered. He threw it away.

He heard footsteps, albeit small ones. Ed turned to see a small cat walking towards him. When did they get a cat...? It snuggled up to his leg and meowed softly. He bent down to pick it up. Examining it, he noticed it had a collar. Huh. That's unusual for a cat. Ed read the name tag on it. It read "Elric." Could it...?! No way! But how?

"Hi Brother." The small voice made him jump. Ed held the cat in front of him like it was a shield or weapon. As if. He lowered the cat to the ground and looked where he had just been standing. "Al!" He exclaimed. "H-how did you get in?" Alphonse held up a key. Oh. Of course. He rushed over to Al and pulled him into a headlock. He ruffled his sandy blond hair. "Where've you been?" The brothers laughed together for the first time in a few years.

Someone creaked on a stair step, startling them. They looked over and saw Winry walk down with May. What...?! How did she get in?!
                           。。。。。。。。。。

"So there's just some black magic guy who's making trouble?" Ed asked.

"Precisely. At your combat level, even without alchemy, he should be pretty easy to get. You don't even have to kill him. All you gotta do is knock him out and bring him back." Mustang replied. He shrugged and said, "But be careful. He has some tricks up his sleeve and he's pretty good at defense. People from his town say there were some challengers who never returned from his cabin once they went in."

"Nah, I'll be fine, but thanks for worrying about me." Ed said, stretching.

"Never in my life would I." Mustang chuckled. "Well, are you going to accept the mission?" Ed nodded. "Alright. Here's the file and info. Oh, and by the way, his code name is Kokumajutsu(a/n: means 'black magic' in Japanese)."

                         。。。。。。。。。。

"Well, here we are..." Ed said, pulling his car next to

Kokumajutsu's cabin. Al, May, and Winry exited the car along with him. "You guys sure you wanna come in?" He asked May and Winry. They nodded. "Alright... Just don't get in me and Al's way." Winry punched his shoulder.

Ed was alerted of Mustang's presence when he slammed his car door shut. "That's right you d*** car, you better not get in my f****** way again you little son of a--" Al cleared his throat. Mustang immediately shut up and slowly walked away from his car, but not before he kicked the tire. Hawkeye got out of the car and sighed.

"Okaaaaayyy... Let's go!" Winry knocked on the wood door. "Coming~" said a haunting voice from inside. A young man with a large black cloak, dark green hair, and holding a cat hand-puppet(recognize him?^~^) opened the door. "Ah, I see. New challengers?" The group gulped and nodded. "Alright then, come in." He said, moving the cat's ears.

They followed the man, who they assumed was Kokumajutsu, into his home and soon found themselves in a large room without alot of light, much like the rest of the house. There were no windows and the floor was concrete. Drawn on the floor was some sort of circle, but not a transmutation circle. Probably this guy's black magic stuff... Ed pondered. "In case you do not know, my code name is Kokumajutsu. My real name I will tell you only if you tell me your real names." They shrugged and looked at each other.

"Roy Mustang."

"Riza Hawkeye."

"Winry Rockbell."

"May Chang."

"Alphonse Elric."

"Edward Elric."
(Now here are some people I didn't tell you were here)

"Jean Havoc."

"Heymans Breda."

"Kain Fuery."

"Vato Falman."

"Arf!" (Black Hayate)

Kokumajutsu clapped. "Good, good. Very well then. My real name is Nekozawa. I am from another world, which I plan to take you to. So ENJOY YOUR STAY!!!" Nekozawa tossed the cat puppet, whose name was Belzenef, on the floor and threw his hands onto the circle. A bright light shone and opened a portal, which Nekozawa pushed the whole group into. A few very girlish screams came from a few men who shall not be named(Aka Mustang and Havoc).

"Ow..." Ed said, rubbing his head after he landed. Woah... Everything's so... PINK...! The rest of the group got up and brushed off their clothes. They were standing in front of two large and PINK doors. Ed and Al pushed the doors open with a combined effort.

The usual roses swirled in the wind and the Host Club appeared behind them, fading into view.

"Hello! Welcome to the Host Cl--" Click. Hawkeye's gun was inches from Tamaki's nose. He held his arms up in surrender. "U-um... Kyoya... Are weapons allowed in the school?"

"No, but look at these people. They are clearly not in uniform and look above the age of school." Kyoya replied, pushing up his glasses.

Ed stepped forward and pointed accusingly at the nearest person to him, who was Honey. "Oi! You! Where the h*** are we?!" He yelled. Honey burst into tears and ran over to Mori. "Takashi, who are they? They look scary! And that one just yelled at me!!" He wailed. Ed sweat-dropped. "This is going to be a long day..." Haruhi said.