iMessage 4:44 PM
aurora: how do you make holy water?
malcum: take it to church
aurora: no
aurora: boil the hell out of itmalcum: what if it doesnt have any hell in it
aurora: dont ruin my joke
malcum: fine fine
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iMessage 4:44 PM
aurora: what do you call somebody with no body and no nose?
malcum: i dont know
aurora: nobody knows
malcum: so then why would you ask the joke?
aurora: it was the answer to the joke idiot
malcum: OH
aurora: im surrounded by idiots
malcum: that makes you one too
aurora: false
malcum: true
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iMessage 4:44 PM
aurora: why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
malcum: maybe because they're extinct
malcum: keep up with the times auroraaurora: no because the pee is silent
aurora: keep up with the alphabet malcummalcum: got me there
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Calum5SOS tweeted: ok how do i get a girl without directly letting her know i want her
Aurora5SOS replied: tell her a knock knock joke
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iMessage 4:43 PM
malcum: before you say your joke i have something to say
iMessage 4:44 PM
aurora: which is?
malcum: knock knock
aurora: whos there
malcum: hawaii
aurora: hawaii who?
malcum: im fine, hawaii you?
aurora: *laughing emoji* okay i enjoyed that one
malcum: (:
aurora: if you see a robbery at an apple store, what does that make you?
malcum: uhh stupid for not joining in
aurora: thats terrible
aurora: the correct answer is, an iWitnessmalcum: ?
aurora: an iWitness...
malcum: i dont get it
aurora: IWITNESS
malcum: wait
malcum: OHH OKAY I GET IT BECAUSE APPLE PRODUCTS ARE- OKAYaurora: omg bye malcum
malcum: no :(
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iMessage 4:44 PM
aurora: why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
malcum: why aurora
aurora: because he couldnt see himself doing it malcum
malcum: hahahahhaahah
aurora: i dont appreciate the sarcasm
malcum: its genuine i swear
aurora: yeah yeah caw caw
malcum: caw caw?
aurora: yes caw caw
aurora: like blah blah but my twistmalcum: youre very interesting
aurora: thanks i try *hair flip*
malcum: you're welcome
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iMessage 4:44 PM
aurora: what has two butts and kills people?
malcum: bees
aurora: bees dont kill people malcum
malcum: they could
aurora: nor do they have two butts
malcum: fair point, what was the answer?
aurora: assassins
malcum: *laughing emoji
aurora: :)
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iMessage 4:44 PM
aurora: what did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
malcum: ahoy
aurora: aye matey
malcum: dammit
aurora: nice try
malcum: caw caw
aurora: NO
malcum: yes :)
aurora: back off
malcum: never
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Calum5SOS tweeted: is it bad i look forward to a specific time every single day? i cant help it
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YOU ARE READING
imessage | c. hood
Fanfictionwhere a girl accidentally texts calum hood's number with a bad dad joke and continues everyday after. All Rights Reserved | @yourlocaldrug • highest ranking(s): #1 in calumhood #1 in michaelclifford #1 in ashtonirwin #1 in lukehemmings #2 in 5sos