The Puzzle Of Jiley

Letting Go

Two days later
~
Riley's POV

We had duet rehearsals the next day, and I had to admit, I was excited to see James after the whole weekend thing. I learned that he had a lot to give me. And he really did like me a lot. Thank god he proved to me, that he didn't like Beth anymore. I would've died. Because nobody knew it but...I was crushing on James so hard from the first day he walked in the studio. Even after the Beth kiss. Even after all the incidents. I liked him a lot too.

I walked into the culture shock with Giselle as she was telling me about her little brother that she apparently hates. Then I saw it. James. He was sitting at a table with the very same girl that was there the other day. The amazingly attractive blondie. I just stopped talking and froze. I froze. So did my heart. James happened to glance over and he saw me. He looked me in the eyes. He jumped out of his chair, knocking it back to the ground and he tripped over his feet to get by the table and the girl. He was heading for me. I was already in tears. Giselle was right beside me still rubbing my back.
"Riley, I'm so sorry," she whispered as James was making his way over. My head was in my hands as I stood there shocked.
"Riley!" James called out reaching into me. I just wanted to curl my head up in his chest. But I couldn't. My brain knew I couldn't. Especially my heart.
"Don't, don't even try to explain yourself," I mumbled through weeps. Giselle was still there with me under her arm. She'd pulled me away from James who had tried to hug me.
"It's not that. It's not what you think-" he started, but his voice was crackling.
"No...I just...how can I forgive you? How can-" I managed to say through my hand over my face and the wet tears rolling down my cheek. Giselle interrupted me though.
"Maybe it's time to leave," she said pushing the hair away from my wet, sweaty face. And I completely agreed. She just walked me into the studio and to the cubbies. Things got even worse. Miss Kate was in her office.
"Riley! Oh my goodness, are you okay?" She said rushing right over to me and Giselle on the benches.
"I'm sorry Miss Kate," I said wiping away tears, because I actually felt like an ass, sitting in front of my dance teacher, crouching in front of me while I'm weeping like a baby and Giselle is hunched over me. It's quite embarrassing.
"Riley. Don't he sorry. Can I please know what happened?" She politely said lifting my hands from my face. I looked down at my hands, now in her hands, and they were black. Wow. Things really do get greater. My makeup was all over my hands and I probably looked like a goth now. Just then someone walked in. I thought it was my sister so I looked up. James. Right there.
"Can I just..." He quietly said, mostly to Miss Kate.
"For sure." Miss Kate said grabbing Giselle and leaving Studio A. James sat beside me.
"I know you're really not into talking right now. Please don't run away though. We have to talk." He said trying to move closer, but I scooted further away. I looked over and his hands were shaking and he was playing with his fingers. He was nervous. This is how he looks when he's nervous.
"I know what you're thinking. You're wrong. Riley, please..." He stopped. I thought he was crying but I looked over to see him just looking me straight in the eye. His eyes were kind of teary looking. I knew he wouldn't cry though.
"I don't wanna lose you." He said. His eyes were teary now. He wanted to cry. I knew he wanted to. But he knew he couldn't.
"I know." I said grabbing his sweaty, clammy hands.
"Wait, you do?" He said grabbing my other hand.
"I know you don't want to lose me," I said. My eyes were dry now. He nodded.
"But sometimes, you might lose the best thing that's happened." I said. He gave me a confused face. He grabbed my hands a little tighter.
"You know how that feels?" He asked me, his eyes were forcing me to look at him.
"No, I don't know how it feels." I said.
"What?" He kind of whispered.
"But I'm going to learn how." I said letting go of his hands.
"I hope you learn too." I said forcing a smile, but my eyes started getting teary.
"So, I have to learn to lose...you?" He said accepting that I had let go of his hands.
"I know you're smart enough." I said.
"Bye James." And then I walked right out. I was crying once again.

What did I just do. I just let go too. Of the best thing that's happened. I was so stupid. He could've explained who she was. I could've handled it better. He could've had a brilliant excuse and apologized. He could've said sorry in his deep, meaningful voice. He could've gave me a kiss with his salty lips. But I ruined it. What did I do. I just let go.