About Us

~ Grandma ~

I was sitting on a bus. The journey was longer than I remembered. I was resting my head to the window. Sometimes when bus drove to a small bump my head jerked along. I was listening other passengers' conversations and the roaming of the engine underneath me. My eyes followed the passing scenery which had changed a lot since my last visit. I was dwelling in my thoughts until I noticed a familiar gate. We drove past the gate and quickly I pressed the stop-button. The bus stopped a bit further from the gate jerking a bit. I waved my thanks to the driver as I stepped out. Steadily I made my way to the gate. I took a deep breath before walking in. "I haven't been here for so long". The old leaves scrunched under my shoes and cold wind blew around me whirling the leaves and some dead flowers along with it. I tightened my grip around my flower bouquet.

It was raining. It had rained the whole day. It almost seemed like the skies were crying for some reason. In the morning I thought that rain was mocking us with its gloominess. We were walking in dead silence in the school hall. We both were too scared to ask that question which was lingering around us "So..." You started. I stared the hall in front of me and nodded. Your one words sentence just hang around in the air. I was afraid to look at you. I was afraid of your next question. Then you sighed and asked "Where do you want to grab lunch today?" "Huh?" I was surprised "I asked where are we going to eat today? I'm craving for Chinese. Is that okay?" You said. All I managed to do was just nod. You slapped me to my arm. "Come on. We can eat Italian if you want?" You smiled. "Uh, yeah, Chinese sounds okay." I stuttered. You grinned at me "Great! Meet me here after the next class!" Then you started to run but in the corridor you turned around and waved at me. I waved back and watched how you disappeared to the halls. I felt many mixed emotions. I was kind of happy that you respected me. You said that we could talk about my feelings towards you when I was ready. But in the other hand I felt a bit sad because sometimes I felt like you were the one who was trying to keep our friendship going. And all this just because I was being a coward and afraid of rejection. For a moment I just stood there in trans until the bell woke me up from my thoughts "Shit I'm late!" I muttered and started running towards my class.

When the class finally ended I made my way slowly to the corridor where we were supposed to meet. I looked out of the window. It didn't rain anymore but the clouds were glooming in the skies making the world look grey. The school yard was painted with different shades of gray. It made me feel uneasy. It almost felt like something bad was about to happen. I was waiting for you while scrolling through my social media while whistling some old cartoon theme song trying to cheer myself up. Then I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw you smiling with your dimples showing. I cracked a smile as well. "So is Chinese okay?" "Yep. Chinese it is!" I said a bit too enthusiastic to even seem natural. You started to laugh. I scratched my nape in embarrassment. "Let's just go" I huffed in embarrassment. We scrolled along the halls to the yard. You blabbered on about your boring class. Then you pondered what you should order. I wasn't really paying attention your words. I just placed a small hum in between you sentences to seem like I was listening. I was just dwelling myself into the feeling that something was wrong. My phone started to ring. It stopped your continuous blabbering. You gestured me to answer to it. Some young female voice asked softly "Are you Kim Taehyung?" "Yes. Who is asking?" The next sentence stopped my world completely "This is Royal Hospital. We are here to inform you that your grandma had a massive heart seizure" The woman's words were laced with sympathy. "And I'm sorry to inform you that your grandma didn't make it. We are very sorry" The woman kept a small break that I could answer but I couldn't get anything out of my mouth. "You can come to the morgue to see you grandma." A long silence hang in the phone. "I'm very sorry for your loss Mr. Kim. Our team apologies that were we not able to save your relative. If you need help with coping with your loss we are here to help you with it" I felt like the woman was trying to say something but I ended the call. "Thank you for informing me" I put slowly my phone back to my pocket as I tried to proceed what she just said to me. You looked at me concerned "What happened?" I just stared at you. I felt how my eyes were starting to water. You took my hand and looked at me "Taehyung, what's wrong?" Your look was filled with worry. "My grandma..." I couldn't finish the sentence. I just collapsed to the wet ground and started crying. The sobs were hysterically escaping my lips. I was sobbing there not caring the stares I was getting. You kneeled next to me and hugged me. "I'm so sorry" You whispered softly to my ear which made me cry even harder I was lost. I felt like my whole world just collapsed. It felt like I lost a part of me. I started to shake. I felt like I couldn't breathe. The only person who supported my dream. The only person who was there for me at my hardest times. The only person who encouraged me to keep pursuing my dream. The person who was my whole world was gone. Just like that.

"I'm sorry" you repeated. During your sentence your voice broke a bit as a sign of sympathy. I clenched your jacket to find comfort. You rubbed my back and just let me cry. The pain I was feeling was too much for me to handle. It started to rain again but neither of us cared. We just sat in the ground, you hugging me tightly and me clenching to your shirt as if that could bring my grandma back.

                                                                                          Kim Taehyung aka the sweetheart