Time ➳ BTS

17 | Unwritten histories

After walking away from them, you wandered aimlessly through the streets until you found a bench and collapsed onto it. The tears flowed freely down your cheeks, and you didn't bother to wipe them away. You were exhausted, both physically and emotionally.

It was kind of ironic that the first person who befriended you here was also the same person who now avoided you the most. These weren't the same men you saw on TV or YouTube. They were more complex, more human, but you had still found a way to understand and forgive them for their actions.

As you sat on the bench, the city's distant noises faded into a dull hum, and the night air grew colder, biting through your thin clothing. The streetlights cast long shadows, and the occasional passerby glanced at you with fleeting concern, but no one stopped. You felt invisible, as if your pain was just another part of the night, unnoticed and unimportant.

More tears slid down your cheeks as the lump in your throat tightened, choking back the sobs. The image of their disappointed faces haunted you, each one a knife to your heart. It was one of the most devastating feelings, disappointment from someone you held dear. It could break a person, and right now, it was breaking you.

Sitting there, you wondered how things had gone so wrong. How had you ended up here, alone and misunderstood? You hugged yourself tightly, trying to find some semblance of comfort in the cold night air. Your thoughts swirled, a chaotic storm of anger, sadness, and betrayal. The world felt like it was closing in on you, and you were powerless to stop it.

"Sweetcheeks, please don't cry..."

"I can't help it, can I?" Your voice cracked as you spoke. You sniffled and wiped away the tears with your sleeves. "At least Jungkook knows the truth."

"Is there something I can do for you?"

You thought hard about it before answering with a small smile, looking up at the stars that decorated the night sky. "Buy me chocolate?"

Guk laughed softly. "Sweetcheeks, I can't." Realization struck you and you chuckled along with him. Letting out a soft sigh, you leaned back on the cold bench and placed your hands on your lap.

"I'm so tired, Guk..." you whispered, your mood shifting so quickly it left you feeling dizzy. "It's not just tonight. It's almost every night now. Always being on alert, always watching out for them and for myself. It's like I can never let my guard down."

Understandably so, you thought. After all, you're supposed to guide the seven boys to the path of the living now, but for how long can you hold out before you will crumble?

The fact that Carla was making this even harder for you wasn't helping. Her constant scheming and manipulations were a shadow over every moment, a weight that threatened to break you with every step.

"It's just so much, Guk," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. "I want to protect them all, to make sure they're safe and happy. But every day feels like a battle. I'm always on edge, always waiting for the next disaster. It's exhausting."

You watched as the hot puff of air floated out of your mouth, mindlessly watching it disappear into the night sky.

"Sometimes, I wonder if it's all worth it," you confessed quietly, your breath forming another cloud in the chill. "They will live peacefully without dangers in the expense of what I throw myself into, signing my life away. Is this really the life I want for myself?"

Guk was silent, listening to your monologue.

You chuckled, albeit without any emotion. "I know the answer already," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "It's no. This isn't the life I want for myself."