Snow White and the Seven Wolves

10. Secret lover

(Winter's POV)

After dashing out of Grandma's dinner I run through the woods, but not mindlessly. I know exactly where I'm going. Ashton's cabin is located deep in the woods. We basically grew up together, since he lives near Grandma. 

I know he's up; he's a total night owl. At the sight of the lit up cottage I slow down and allow myself to breathe. Yesterday was awful. Today has been the worst. Tomorrow will be hell. I can't even think about what this year will look like. I thought I would go off and study or travel, but now that I've gotten my heat I'm chained to him. 

To a wolf that doesn't even want me. 

My heart trembles painfully in my chest and I hesitantly tip-toe up to the door. My paw scratches at the door and my claws follow the familiar dents in the wood. I hear his steps and when he opens the door I jump back. 

"Winter? What are you doing here?" he asks and I give him my best puppy dog eyes. "You have a mate now, what do you need me for?" he remarks and I can tell he isn't too happy that I'm here. 

I hang my head but he just stands there looking cool and annoyed at the same time, a skill I don't posses. I turn back to human form and give him another sad look. 

"You don't know how he is" I murmur pitiable but he just scoffs with a glance at my naked body. 

"Nobody's perfect" he reminds me and I can tell he's ready to slam the door in my face. It kind of breaks my heart a little bit. 

"I'll tell you" I say and he gives me a surprised look. "I'll tell you why I rejected him." 

Ashton lets me in and hands me some clothes before he sits down on the couch and looks at me. I know how badly he wants to know. He's asked me a hundred times over the last seven years why I rejected my mate, why Conroy left town and why I hate him so. Truth be told I don't want to say it out loud but I know this is my last chance with Ashton so I sit down next to him and start to explain. 

"I always had big dreams... even as a cub I always knew I wanted to aim high. When my parents died it didn't break me, it made me even more sure that I would fight for myself. When my brothers tried to protect me I ran off to prove that I could take care of myself" I tell him. 

Ashton looks at me with big eyes but he is nowhere near satisfyed with this answer so I continue. 

"When Lisa died I was thirteen. I met Conroy for the first time then, and he was just a normal guy, another pack's member, just like any wolf... When I realized that I was his mate... It just wasn't enough. I was going to be somebody. He wasn't anything like what I dreamt, or what I wanted." 

I glance at him and I'm met by sad but disappointed eyes. 

"Nobody's mate is as they pictured. Sure, you were just a child but he didn't do anything to you, did he?" Ashton sighs. 

I shake my head and turn away from him. He won't understand. 

"No, he didn't do anything. I was the one who made him go. But he went, Ashton... He left me..." I mumble, more to myself than to my friend. 

"So he did what you wanted; why are you so mad then?" he asks, just as confused as Conroy is. I don't get as mad at Ashton as I do at Conroy so I smile sadly at him. 

"Because I was a child. I was scared. I was afraid of the bond; I was afraid to be left and I was afraid of getting hurt. I just wanted him to assure me, to be there and make sure I didn't get hurt. As my mate he should have known how I truly felt. He should have known that I wanted him to stay" I say. 

"Okay, so he failed. Now what?" Ashton asks me. 

"What do you mean?" I ask calmly, stunned that there is a present in which I have a choice to make, and not just a past that is holding me prisoner. 

"What do you want now?" he asks and leans back in the couch. 

I admire his heavy build and handsome features. The blond hair is tousled as always and he's got that carefree look on his face that I've always liked. Ashton was always like this: quick to accept and even quicker to move on. 

I'm the one that's stuck in the past. 

"Right now" I say and lean my body over his. "I want to have sex" I murmur seductivly and place my hand on the other side of his body as I lean in. "With you" I purr and press my lips against his in a very familiar kiss. 

It is nothing like when Conroy kissed me. Ashton's lips are so wellknown that I could have drawn a map of them in the dark. I suck at the charted territory and put my all into this one kiss. His lips are soft and careful. I like him so much and I know he knows how to make me feel good. 

His hands push me away before I can register just how wrong it feels to kiss him. 

"I'm not a bond wrecker, Winter. I can't sleep with someone else's mate. I'm sorry" he apologizes with a not so happy tone. Of course his morals wouldn't let him. I'm not surprised but I am sad, because although my body didn't like it, I still like him, and hearing him say no hurts. 

I want Asthon but I'm not his. I'm someone else's mate.