S A R A

Ch 24

24

I got out of the Uber into what seemed like a bustling area filled with life, smoke and perfume. I'm not sure what his plan was, but this didn't exactly seem like the most demure place.

I was wearing my leather jacket, but it was slightly cool in the night. Being late summer, the sunshine during the day was soft and perfect, but the chill in the night required a heat lamp or two to overcome it into comfort. I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered slightly. I stood on the street looking around and alone, but it was so busy with people in bars sitting and standing and talking and definitely drinking, that nobody seemed to notice.

I checked my phone, 9:03. Damn, should I have even come in the first place?

But just as soon as I had that though it dissipated when I felt a presence behind me and a voice:

"Relax, you're on time." Haden.

I closed my eyes and a felt a strange and inexplicable emotion. Full of anxiety for the future, and yet a strange sense of peace and calm in the present. Every-time, hearing his voice beside me, feeling him, his smell, him made it feel like, no matter what, everything was going to be fine.

I turned around and gave him a quick hug, then he took my hand and led me through the crowd.

Surprisingly, apart from the few glances that landed a little too long on him, everyone seemed to be jovial enough in their drinks to not notice him, or us.

He led me into the cafe and to the back of the dimly lit room. It had a warm ambiance of reds and yellows and the magic of the night. We sat down at a little table with a 'Reserved' sign on it, of course, and then he looked at me. Averting his eyes to the wall ahead he nodded towards an odd looking plant that seemed to be covering something.

"There's a venue next door. Sometimes it's a club. The musicians leave that way after their shows to not go unnoticed." He talked looking into my eyes, looking at me looking at it. He was right. There seemed to be a door behind the plant. Interesting.

"Anything else to disclose?" I asked with a smile. He almost ceased to surprise me, as I began to expect the unexpected with him. His life.

"It feels good, doesn't it?" He asked calmly.

"What does?" I asked him back, arching my eyebrows, and not quite sure what he was referring to.

"The middle. The sweet spot. Where the unsure beginning has passed and the end is far away to not be seen or thought about. I find calm in the middle." He reached over the table and his fingers intertwining with mine, he was going all philosophical on me.

"Calm before the storm?" I nonchalantly let him wrap my hands in his.

He was right. As nice as it felt though, I had to wonder when it was all going to fall apart and whether it was going to be soon.

Something felt different though. It was a novel feeling, but definitely there. I couldn't understand or pinpoint this emotion exactly. Was there a bitterness ? A lack of naïveté? I was a character participating in the story, but at the same, but it's like, my expectations disappeared. I wasn't sure if I was learning the truth about myself or letting go of what I've known to make myself into a nothing. It's good to let go when you have something to replace it with. Otherwise, you get stuck in a nothingness difficult to escape or understand for that matter. I was afraid that I was letting my dreams go. The ones that led me to him in the first place.

I wasn't sure how far I was going to let this go. Of course I wanted him, but now with this announcement he made of his disappearing girlfriend, I wasn't sure where I stand anymore...Who am I kidding, I was never sure where I stood with him.