S A R A

Ch 36

36

Later in the morning though, I was thinking of how I cannot be motivated solely by sex, or by the need for another being. I realized that once you find love, you still need to have a good grasp on yourself, your beliefs and having beliefs in something that you can control. Because human relationships, for all their beauty, are the most complicated and delicate things. That's what makes them so special.

I was reflecting on how crazy I felt in pursuit of him, how I needed to always have something of mine to stay sane.

"I know people have a crazy sort of vision of us, rockstars," Harry began, sitting across from me in the garden.

"Oh, is that what you are, rockstar?" I asked playfully, taking a cherry in my mouth.

"But we still have responsibilities and its still our job,"he continued, as I put my feet up on his lap and he gave me a massage. "As much as I wish this could last longer," forever, I thought, " I have to get back to LA, tomorrow."

Oh. Of course, it couldn't last forever.

I took my feet off form him, and got up to sit on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and snuggled my face there. His hands slid lower to my hips and my butt, but I didn't want us to physically touch again as much as I wanted to feel something mental, to feel it stronger and continue feeling it.

"Very hands on," he started, as his lips found my mouth, "not good," he said in between our kisses and I could feel him smile.

I promptly got up and walked away, turned around only once to give him a smile and he just smiled back at me being the tease that I was.

I walked into the sprawling mansion and admired the artwork and the interior decor which I may have missed from last night's wine and dine and fine fuck session.

Then, I found the cool and damp wine cellar just past the dining room. It was filled with bottles, and I couldn't believe that he had accumulated all this in such a short amount of time. I traced my finger along some bottles to see that actual dust has accumulated on most of them. I turned my head to read the label, Inferno.

"It's my favorite," Haden's voice behind my shoulder made me jump. But then I relaxed the way I did in his presence. When I looked at him, every-time, it was like a magnetic force which I could feel practically physically was pushing me towards him

"What do you do with these?" I asked, holding up Inferno.

"You mean other than drink them?" He was always doing this, making me giggle stupidly first at him and then at my own infatuation.

"Do you sell them, like, could I technically walk in to a WineRack and buy one?" I asked.

"WineRack? Come on, Sara, have a little faith in me," He carefully took the bottle from my hands. I loved it when he said my name. " Mostly private distributions, and some independent contractors. It would be selfish to keep it all to myself. And anyway, like I said, all this is my job still - no matter how glamorous you people think it is."

"You people, you mean us peasants?" I was poking fun at him playfully.

He pressed against me, pushing me gently to the back of the wine shelves, and slid past me to put the wine bottle back in its place. Then he looked at me, with that look in his eyes and I leaned forward, closing my eyes, ready to kiss him. But he just chuckled and turned.

"I'm gonna take a shower," He walked away, doing the same thing I did to him. Now who was being a tease?

I calmed my breathing, and waited a moment in the wine cellar.

By the time I got to the bedroom, I heard the shower start. I looked around the room and saw my dress from last night on the floor still. The white sheets looked like waves in an ocean, and we were the mermaids. I had a crazy thought, would it be pushing it if I walked into the shower and got in with him? I knew it was no time to be ashamed after the things he did to me and the things I gave him. Was there a border? Probably, but I knew that he would be leaving tomorrow and then he could have all the space he wanted.

I took another deep breath, and turned the doorknob. It was already steamy and the shower was so loud that I don't think he heard me. I walked up slowly, and opened the curtains. He turned around to see me, then after a pause, he continued what we started in the cellar and kissed me hard. I slipped into the shower, not caring that I was getting my clothes wet because soon after they were off of me.