LOVE YOURSELF: SECOND CHANCE FOR LOVE

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

At this point Haneul was a sobbing mess.
- She stayed with my mom and dad, they welcomed her with wide arms, she went back to college, which I paid for, she didn't want me too do so I made her believe that it was a loan, after she graduated she became a realtor like my mom, she was one of the best, she found that place I live now with our daughter.
One day she gets an appointment to show a house when she made it there found her bastard of a father, he tried to hurt her once again, but we had an agreement to meet for lunch thankfully I made it on time, you have no idea how much strength took for me not to kill him, she had to beg me as well.
That day I got his ass thrown in jail we went back home, I had stopped her from drinking when I first met her because thanks to all the abuse she used alcohol to ease her pain, but that night I offered her a shot of soju because I knew she needed it after what she had been through.
That night she asked me to show her how a real man threats a lady, after that a relationship blossomed between us, I promise her that no one, nothing would ever hurt her again as long as I lived.
We had intimacy of course I was under the impression that she couldn't have kids so I didn't even bother to use protection so she ended up pregnant, how we found out, one afternoon we were just lounging around the house so she just went to the toilet, when I heard her screaming, I ran to the bathroom to find a scene from a horror movie, blood everywhere, that moment was when our nightmares began.
The doctor told us that it would cost her life to continue the pregnancy, hard headed like she was and stubborn there was no way for me to change her mind.
I didn't know how to tell her no, so I didn't do anything, because to me I had two options, if I took the baby away she would hate me for the rest of my days, but I didn't so I hate myself because it cost me her life.
- oh my goodness Namjoon, you have been through so much pain, so much anguish.
- nothing compare to what she went through, my pain is nothing I would have done anything to take all the pain away from her, but I wasn't enough in the end she still died, I couldn't save her the second time, I feel that after I made the promise of protect her I'm the one who hurt her the most, because I had no backbone, because I couldn't tell her no.
- is not all your fault Namjoon, she had part on the decision, it wasn't something that you could decided alone.
- I understand this but that didn't make me feel any less guilty, at first when she died I wouldn't go near little y/n, I couldn't it hurt so much I just stayed away from her, I stayed like this for 6 months until one day my dear younger brother Jungkook snapped at me because it hurt him the way I was being towards the baby, the way I didn't want to do anything with her, that day his words really hurt me, it hurt me hearing those words from him, someone that looks up to me, someone that I raised like he was my own when I first met him, he was only 15 he didn't know no better about life, I knew that wherever my girl was at that moment, she had to be disappointed in me because at her dead bed I had promise to take care of our baby, at that moment something snapped in me, I ran to my parents house to get my baby that had been staying at my parents house since she was born, that day I took her home.
Jungkook feels guilty too I know it even he doesn't tells me so, because he was out of the country at that time everything was going down, he had previous engagements with work so he couldn't make it to see y/n before she died so that messed him up, after he was done with everything, he made it to the funeral when we were taking the ashes to the grave.
That day he promise that he was going to help me with anything I need it to take care and raise little y/n.
Today that little girl sees stars, and rainbows for that man, he is as much as her father than I am.
She was just loss for words at the story.
- I admire you Namjoon, because it takes a real man to do what you did, what you have been doing all this years, I know you are a great father because of the way she looks at you.
- she is my everything, she is the most precious things I have that belongs to me, which is a precious gift and memory of the love I had for her mother.
Namjoon felt his own tears prickling down his face.
He wiped them down as he lift his face since he had been staring at his own feet while telling her the story, he found her face destroyed by the tears, her make up was ruined, nose, eyes and lips swollen, his heart shrug.
Moving forward he reached for a napking reaching for her face to wipe it down.
- please do not cry like this, I hate when I make a beautiful woman cry.
He wiped her tears as good as he could, she froze under his touch, she felt jolts of electricity running down her spine.
- is ok Namjoon, I'm not beautiful so you don't have to feel bad then.
He pulled back to stare at her raising on eyebrow.
- what kind of nonsense is that, who told you that lie?
She smiled shaking her head.
- I should get going Namjoon and you have to go to your baby, she has to be waiting for you.
- she is at Hoseok's house, his kids, Seokjin hyeong's kids, Taehyung's kids are there so she is most likely playing her life away and definitely not thinking about me, is something that she doesn't get to do often play with kids her age because we don't always have the time to spent like we used to when we lived together, three of them are married with kids, Jungkook has his girlfriend, he is going to propose soon and have kids of his own, things are not like when we live together, now we have our own things, business, I produce music for American rappers, sometimes I'll be out of the country on my own so my baby stays with grandma because I can't bother them with watching over her because they don't have the time, so a few weekends of the month we pick a house, we bring the kids, even Hoba's sister Mejiwoo brings her kids, they play, so we talk, eat and get drunk until we pass out.
- That sounds like fun Namjoon.
- is it the best part of the month when I get to see my brothers, we get to be a young men again.
His phone suddenly rings.
- hold on a second please.
He looks at the phone, is Hoseok.
- I need to take this give me two seconds please.
- of course take your time.
- hello.