maybe won't you take it back || b.e. fanfic

chapter nine.

billie's pov

"billie, it's- it's not- i'm not," ade stammers.

i cant believe she would sit here and smoke cigarettes. damn cigarettes. why? why would she choose this. why would she voluntarily smoke cigarettes? does she not know what they do to you, especially at this age?

"what the fuck ade. i can't believe this. why the fuck are you smoking? why." i ask angrily.

"billie it's not like that. i cant- i cant help it, okay?" she says, acting like she has the right to get mad at me, when she's the one smoking!

"oh yeah? well why'd you start in the first place. no fucking reason." i spit out.

"because i'm numb and i need something. since i lost carter, i needed something to make me feel. to take my mind off of things." she says, looking down.
i felt bad, but i couldn't let her know that.

"so you rot your body? yeah well that's fucking stupid. your destroying your body. is that what you want?" i snap as i leave the room and lock myself in my room. i just can't believe ade would do this? i know she's having a hard time but that's no reason to ruin your body.

"billie. please, i'm sorry." i can hear her say from the other side of my door.

"there's no excuse. i don't care. leave me alone." i coldly bark out at her.

"i know.. i know. your right.." i hear her say say, followed by a sniffle.

"but billie, please. i'll stop. i've only been doing it for two weeks ok? please just don't do this.." she pleads and i can start to hear her cry. i hate seeing her cry like this. maybe i was being too over dramatic. all i want is for her to be safe and healthy.

"fine." i say harshly as i open the door to a, now bawling, ade.

"come here." i say as i sigh and open my arms, she gladly runs into them and squeezes me tight.

"i-i'm sorry billie.." she says as she cries into my chest.

"it's okay. but i'm getting rid of these right now." i state as i go into the bathroom and dump the rest of the cigarettes into the toilet.

"i guess i probably over reacted, but i just want you to be safe and healthy. always." i say as i walk back into my room to see ellie laying on my bed already, i guess shes pretty tired.

"i know baby. well i won't do it again, i promise." ade says, i just nod and pace around my room. i know i can trust her and that she was gonna tell me anyways, i just know how hard it is for people to quit smoking, it's addictive.

"hey, i'm gonna go take a shower." i say as i grab some clothes and head for the door.

"wait.. billie .." ade says, which kinda concerns me how she's talking.

"yes?"

"can i come with you..?" she asks shyly as she hides her face half under my comforter. she's so cute and precious, how could i say no.

"of course." i say as i smile and grab her hand, leading her into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind us.

we both get undressed and giggle as we climb into the shower and standing under the hot running water, being so damn cliche.

ade's naked skin pressed against mine was like something unnatural. something about kissing her while our bodies are pressed against eachother with the water falling over our faces and over ever surface was like being teleported to another dimension
where it's just her and i lost in complete bliss. in this moment, it hits me that i'm now consumed. i'm consumed by love. love for ade. i'm in love with her.

"ade.." i say as i hold her close to me by her waist.

"yeah?" she asks as she twirls my wet hair.

"i uhm.." i start as i look up and down, admiring her true beauty in all of its glory.

"i'm in love with you." i blurt out as my eyes meet hers.

she just smiles and kisses me passionately.

"i'm in love with you too. so, so in love. i want you, billie. every bit of you because i'm so deeply in love with you." ade says with a big ass smile as she giggles and kisses me again.

i smile and kiss her back, then she pushes me against the cold tile wall of the shower which deepens the kiss. my hands slither down her back and fall right above her butt, pulling her closer to where our bodies are touching and right on top of each other, water falling ever so elegantly in between our now conjoined skin.

my lips trail down to her neck and i start to kiss her neck ever so elegantly as her hands roam my body, starting to tease me which i really just hate.

"oh baby, you don't wanna do that." i whisper into her ear which makes ade shiver.

"or what, love?" she asks, and i can almost hear the smirk on her face right now.

quickly, i put my hand around her neck and flip our positions, leaving her up against the cold tile and me now in-front of her, smirking as i look at her, right in the palm of my hand.

"do you really wanna know?" i whisper as i bite my lip, which causes her to let a small moan slip from her lips.

"hm... yeah i think i do." she says as she chuckles and rolls her eyes. oh, she definitely fucked up.

-

"you doing ok baby girl?" i ask, starting to be a little worried that i actually hurt her.

"y-yeah.. just tired." she says lowly and with a hoarse throat.

"ok baby, let's get into bed ok?" i say as i turn off the water and step out, then helping her get out and wrapping a towel around her and then wrapping one around myself. we trot across the hall into my room and she drops her towel, but she just crawls into my bed, not being bothered to change into pj's i guess. but i hate sleeping naked so i throw on some pj's and then climb into bed.

"thank you, bil." ade says as she pulls the covers over the both of us in my bed and pulls her warm, bare body across mine, cuddling me. her skin is soft like silk, and warm like a comforting summer bonfire. long story short, it felt like a blessing to have her sleeping under me and her bare skin on mine while we cuddle. i'm so lucky to be able to fall asleep with her in my arms.