maybe won't you take it back || b.e. fanfic

chapter two.

billie's pov

~two hours before the crash~

ugh, today was so stressful. i had like twenty ass interviews to do today and it's already like 10pm. i'm so sweaty and feel just so... nasty.

so naturally, i get in the shower so i can be a clean human being. i think i'm gonna go get some taco bell after.

after taking a pretty quick shower, i throw on my hoodie and sweatpants and hop into my car and starting down the road.

but, before i could even make it down the same road as taco bell, i see something absolutely horrible. an accident. and not just a little scratch accident. no. a full on devastation. this car was totaled. and as i slowed down and got closer to the car, i could see two people inside of the car. shit. of course, without even thinking i got out of my car and ran over. there were so many passing cars... no one stopped. no one wanted to help. why? why were people so damn selfish.

"holy fuck.." i say under my breath as i get closer to the car and see all of the windows smashed, the front bashed in, and blood scattered all around the car. the inside, the dashboard, even the sidewalk. they needed to get out, asap. quickly poking inside, i could tell the driver was.. gone. my heart sank. i didn't even know him but i felt like i had lost a brother. i wiped away tears as i realized the other one in the car was still alive.

i could save her. cmon, billie. you've gotta save her.

as quickly as i can while being safe, which is actually pretty slow, i manage to open the door and drag her out of the car, trying to not get any excess glass stuck in her soft skin. all around me was fucking paps. fuck the paparazzi. how could they do this? these people just got in one of the worse accidents i've ever seen, and all they care about is getting pictures? i swear, being famous is a curse.

"HELP!!! GET HELP PLEASE!!" i plead out to the paparazzi as i sit on the sidewalk with this poor girl bleeding and in pain in my arms. tears roll down my cheek as i see police and ambulance rolling up to the scene from the distance. thank god. she needs to be saved, i can tell she has potential. i need to get to know this girl. i refuse to let her go, i won't let it happen.

"please get her to the h-hospital.." i say as the paramedics rush up and grab her out of my arms, rushing her onto a stretcher and then loading her into the ambulance. although, they don't come for the driver. they police do. he was gone. fuck.

i walk back over to my car. who am i kidding? i cant drive right now. i shove the keys into my pocket and pull my hoodie over my face, and start wondering around the outskirts of LA, just thinking. i needed to get my mind off of things. i need to talk to someone.

"billie?" finneas says from the other side of my phone. thank god he answered my call.

"finneas. it's so good to hear your voice. i love you so much." i say, breaking down.

"i love you too, but what's going on? do you need me to come get you? where are you?" he asks concernedly as i can hear him moving around.

"yes. but, please drive slow. and carefully. i'm fine so please take your time." i say as i hang up and then send him my location.

i lied. i wasn't fine. but i can't have him worry, at least not while driving, not now.

"billie?" finneas says from behind me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

i turn around and take one look at him, and that's when i loose it. i break down and fall apart in his arms, unable to see or hear or think of anything at all. except for the fact that someone lost their life today.

fuck, i have no idea who he was, but he's gone. he'll never live, breath, love, see, smell, hear, anything ever again. he's gone. and that thought eats me up.

"cmon billie let's go home.." finneas says as he brings me over to get into the car, but i refuse to get in the front seat and i sit in the back, to afraid to see the moving road right now.

within five minutes, we finally roll back into our parent's driveway and park, finneas coming over to my side to help me out.

"billie! oh my god, are you alright?" my mom exclaims as her and my father run up to us, hugging us both.

"no- yes. i-i'm fine." i lie as i push past them and lock myself in the bathroom, just staring in the mirror. i looked like shit. my hair was all over the place, sweat everywhere, my clothes drenched in sweat, tears, and blood, quite literally. and some occasional pieces of glass. after about 15 minutes of pulling glass out of myself with tweezers, i finally hoped in the shower. i need to get clean.

after a pretty quick shower, i get changed into yet another hoodie and sweatpants, and i decide i need to go to the hospital and find this girl. i need to make sure she's alright, and comfortable of course.

"i'll be back." i announce as i walk out my front door with just my phone, which was only at 10% anyways.
"bil-" i hear my mom start as i slam the door behind me, not really caring about what she has to say. she's probably just gonna try to stop me anyways.

i look into the driveway and notice my car isn't there. that's right, i left it at the crash sight. well, i'm sure it'll be here tomorrow morning. finneas will probably have it towed here. i couldn't drive right now anyways, and a little fresh air never hurt anybody.

within a short 20 minute walk, i finally made it to the hospital.

"hi.. uhm, earlier i was at a crash sight and the girl from the crash is here.. is there anyway i can see her?" i ask the nurse at the front desk.
"name?" she says, a bit rudely.

"oh uh, i don't know her name." i say with a slight chuckle and put my arm on the back of my neck.

"your name." she snaps back.

i feel so fucking stupid right now.

"duh. okay, uh billie eilish." i say, my cheeks being as red as tomatoes, this is so embarrassing.

"right hand." she says as she prints out a wrist band. so, i listen and stick my right hand out.

"room 103, floor two." she says as she puts the wristband on me a little too tightly.

well it's a good sign that they're letting visitors in to see her.

alright, cmon bil. you can do this. just go in there.

i'm sure she wants to see you anyways.

i keep on telling myself.

who am i kidding. she doesn't want to see me, she probably doesn't even remember me!! ok ok, whatever. i'll just go in. maybe she won't even be awake.

and with a deep inhale and exhale, i reach for the doorknob.