maybe won't you take it back || b.e. fanfic

chapter twelve

ade's pov

it's been about three days since we broke up, and i can't get her out of my head. i don't even know why. she was so fucking cold to me. i didn't even know my heart could be broken like that. ever since she's left, i've barley stopped crying. for hours, i just sit on my phone, my finger hovering over the call button under her contact. but i can just never bring myself to actually call her. she's done with me. i was nothing to her, and i guess i just have to accept that. but i can't. and i won't ever be able to. billie made me feel.. worthy. she made me feel happy. as cliché as it sounds, she was my bliss.

fuck, i promised myself i wouldn't fall for someone ever again. but, when you have billie eilish outside of your window, how are you not supposed to fall for her? she's just so irresistible, unfortunately.

"hey ade, can i get you anything?" hope asks as she enters the room.

"nope." i reply coldly as she sighs and leaves the room, shutting it behind her.

hope has been so kind to me recently, she even let me have the room to myself since billie and i broke up.

i can't ever get her out of my mind. i just miss her. her presence. her beautiful ocean eyes that you could get lost in. but every time i think of her, i think of how she talked to me that day. i just really can't believe it still. at all. it was so... unlike her. i had heard that she was a player, but she made me feel like i was different. like i was someone to her. but i guess that just makes her one good ass player.

"alexa, play defeated by atlas." i say as i lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling.

this song reminds me of her so much, i need to stop listening to it.

frozen while i'm watching you go,
knocked on your door, asking
"can we restart?"

he sings in a low, almost raspy voice. every lyric of this song reminds me of her.

every time i hear the word beauty,
i picture your hands while your
turning you car.

especially that line. really hitting close the home. maybe i should just grow the fuck up and call her. but i'm sure she doesn't want to me to call her anyways, she's probably out with another bitch by now.

~~~~~~~

mia
hey.

wtf..?? why is mia texting

  ade
uh hi.

mia
i know about u billie.

ade
okay.. stalker much?
why do i care again?

mia
chill ade. i just wanted to
say i'm sorry. can we talk.

ade
idk what there's to
talk abt. but sure.

mia
ok, ty. meet me at
this party in 5. xx
{insert address}
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

of course she wants to meet at a party. she just wants to get me drunk so it's easier for her to sleep with me. but whatever, i needed to get out and away from my thought for a while. the house it's right down the block, so i walk. plus, if i do get drunk, i don't wanna drive drunk.

as soon as i walk up to the house, loud ass music and strobe lights blind my vision as the smell of weed and smoke assault my nostrils.

"hey baby." i hear from behind me.

mia.

"i'm not your baby." i say as i turn around and face her.

"oh cmon, don't be like that." she says as she laughs and goes to grab my arm.

"mia, are you drunk? already?" i say as i sigh.

"maybe." she says as she trails off, but then her eyes meet mine.

"baby, why'd you let her leave you? you know i'd never do that to you." she says as she bites her lip.

"mia, you've already left me. your so stupid." i scoff.
i shouldn't have came here, how dumb could i be.

"like i don't know, stupid." she says.

"yeah. remember when you fucked that girl in my bed too?" i say as i fake laugh.

"yeah, she had some good pussy though. you jealous?" she says as she cockily laughs.

"i fucking hate you. leave me alone." i say as i turn around and start walking.

tw rape

"nah, i didn't come here to not get in your pants, baby girl." she says as she roughly and harshly grabs my arm and stops me from walking away.

"ugh, get away!" i say as i try to rip my arm away from her, but her grip is so strong that her nails and leaving an indent in my skin, causing it to bleed which really fucking hurts.

"mia, your hurting me." i say as i look into her eyes, trying to get through to her somehow.

"and you think i care? remember, i never loved you. you're nothing, and never were, anything to me but a toy, bitch." she whispers into my ear, the smell of alcohol in her breath burns my nose.

"your drunk, mia. let me go." i demand.

"you say that like i don't know." she says as she grabs my neck hard, not allowing me to breathe. her hands roam my body as she puts her free hand down my pants as she drags me into an empty corner.

"m-mia.." i manage to squeeze out as is squirm, trying to stop her while still gasping for breath.

"just shut up, whore. you know you want me." she spits out. but she couldn't be more wrong. all i want right now is to be in billie's arms again. that's it.

"n-no.." i whine out, which just results in her slapping me and tightening her grasp on my neck. as i try to pry her hand off of my neck, she unbuckles my jeans and puts her hand in my underwear, starting to rub my clit too hard, making it hurt. god, please stop this sick fucker.

tw over

"yo! what the fuck!" i hear a familiar voice say as suddenly mia's ripped off of me and thrown into the ground. i fall to the ground and cry as i can finally breathe, i just close my eyes and try to breathe, although it feels like i forgot how to.

"ade!" i hear the voice say as they rush to me and fall to the ground next to me, engulfing me in a big, tight hug. they're body felt... familiar.
oh no. i swear to god.

i open my eyes, and yep. of course. the shoulder in crying into is no other than billie's shoulder. fuck.

"i- billie- uh- sorry-" i stutter as i back up and wipe my tears away, quickly buttoning my pants again and then hiding my face.

"no, ade, i'm sorry. can we please talk.?" she asks as she places her hand over mine.

"uh.. yes. of course." i say as i sniffle and get up slowly with the assistance of billie. i look around, and the noise and all the sights and lights and smells give me a massive fucking headache, and seeing mia passed out on the floor didn't help either. i cling onto billie for assistance since all i can hear in my head is ringing and i can barley see. as much as i'm mad at billie right now, i was glad she was there. she really saved me... again. but i can't let myself fall back into her arms. she really hurt me last time, and as much as i miss her, she doesn't deserve me. or maybe it's me not deserving her. i don't know anymore.