Inciting Incident (Harry Styles)

Chapter 4

I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

***

It's been 4 days since mine and Callums' argument and to say I've been coping well would be nothing but a big fat lie. I've never been good at arguments as I usually hate conflict as it always makes me feel so shit afterwards. After arguments I always feel so on edge knowing that nothing could be changed and obviously, overthinking comes into play and then that's just a whole other problem,

The night he stormed out was spent mostly crumpled on the floor in the kitchen, and call me emotional but some of the things he said really did hurt although I was madder at myself for not sticking up for myself more.

The first day was mostly spent at work, trying to preoccupy my mind with anything but the events from the night before. While also doing a lot of secret research on Harry Styles and Gemma. To say I was shocked would be the underestimation of the century not only have I been on the phone to "The Harry Styles", (As arrogant as he was it was still pretty cool). But also the girl who I have been speaking to for 8 years and who I class as one of my closest friends is a huge celebrities sister and I didn't know, it actually made me realize how much I don't know about Gemma and considering I was currently in a taxi on my way to the airport to stay with her I really shouldn't be doubting everything now, but I guess that's just how my mind works.

The second day was spent going over the argument in my head. Going over it until I couldn't think straight anymore. Callum had sent message after message but I was completely numb and my fingers refused to type back to them, either that or I just had no energy. Being called a liar was one of the worst things, especially when it was said with such hate and distaste. He was extremely paranoid on a whole different level and I can't help but wonder if he had started smoking weed again which would explain it but I didn't want to ask in case I'm wrong and then I am just as bad for accusing him. Callum had been hurt badly in the past, I know this but was that a good enough excuse to take it all out on me? I don't think so.

Yesterday (being the third day) consisted of over 50 missed calls from Callum as well as over 100 messages, most of them either apologizing or saying I was being stubborn for not replying for over 48 hours, which I can agree with. I realised it was stupid constantly ignoring him when in reality he didn't really do anything wrong, he just said some things out of anger which we are all capable of, even me. At lunchtime, he turned up at the flat while I was packing with a big bouquet of flowers and a big "I'm Sorry" note attached and really how could I stay mad at him? Ultimately, he found out I was heading to London and although he wasn't too impressed with the idea at all, I made it up to him with a "goodbye" present which definitely kept him happy especially considering I usually don't like doing it. As well as having a fair amount of "makeup sex" which definitely kept him in a good mood.

But now, all I was focused on is getting to London in one piece and finally meeting the person I trusted the most after all these years. Butterflies swarmed my stomach gathering around my body until I felt nauseous, excited, and giddy all at once as I headed into the airport not looking back on my spontaneous adventure.

Being spontaneous was definitely not a strong point of mine, I've learned that taking risks usually ended badly and that I was much more comfortable with being in control and knowing what was going to happen. It was the one thing I really could control, what exactly I do and say and what kind of a person I want to be and constantly aspire to be. They say spontaneity is the key to living a full, happy, and exciting life and I was ready to live it for at least once in my life and then even if it's not for me, at least I can say I tried.

**

The plane journey went a bit too quickly for my liking, I hadn't had time to deliberate the fact that I was seriously in a big ass flying metal bird which I had no control over if it stopped flying or the fact that I must be registered insane to be really doing this, instead I'd spent most of the time contemplating my entire existence and the fact that I was on a massive rock hurling through space at 70,000 miles per hour around a gigantic ball of fire burning at around 5,550c through a universe that had no beginning or end. Which was not very helpful in these circumstances at all.