Inciting Incident (Harry Styles)

Chapter 21

Is it too soon to be going on a date? I know I said it was but that was before I had actually been asked on one and thought about it... I literally broke up with Callum yesterday, well technically, Harry broke up with him for me but still.

Maybe it could just be treated as a friend date? And we can see what happens. If I go and it was too soon at least I tried it and can't regret it and Liam definitely seems nice enough to be able to talk to.

How did he even know I broke up with Callum? He knew I was with him, Harry made that very clear to him. Maybe he just was thinking of it as a friend date and I'm just overthinking. Yeah, that must be it. That take's the pressure off massively.

But what if Callum finds out. No, I can't think of that he has no reason to find out and control me anymore, besides we are not together and he can't contact me as I blocked his number so everything should be fine.

And what if I have a panic attack whilst I'm out? Will Liam know what to do if I get one, how embarrassing will that be. Harry's the only one that can help me out of those at the moment. That's even more embarrassing.

I don't know whether to go or not. My mind was stuck in a constant loop of analysis, comment repeat and I couldn't get myself out of it. Maybe going on this date isn't a good idea, I reach for my phone to tell Liam that I'm not interested but I feel eyes staring directly into my forehead as I look up to see Gemma staring at me with her arms crossed.

"You're over-thinking Jord, Liam is a sweetheart. He wouldn't push you into anything and if you're not ready or if he's not your type then he will definitely still be friends. They're pretty much brothers to us." Gemma reassured me, as I shook my head.

"I can't, there are too many things that can go wrong, it's way too soon and I don't even know if I want to be around any guys right now "I- I can't win, plus what if-" I started venting, feeling myself getting worked up as Gemma grabbed my hand from picking the phone up.

"But what if it's great. What if it is a good idea? What if he is the man of your dreams? I don't want to push you.. that's the last thing I'd ever want to do but you have to take some chances and risks or you will stay in your comfort zone forever. Besides, it may help you have a positive experience with at least one guy who isn't a jerk" She eyes at Harry but he just looks down and doesn't say a word.

I know this is a bad idea, I know that it's way too soon but I can't help but hope with every fiber of my being that there is some truth with what Gemma is saying. I've never been the type of girl to rely on needing a guy but some comfort right now couldn't be a bad thing.

Harry is eerily silent for the duration of our conversation which is actually a nice change for once.

"If it makes you feel better I can message Liam now to let him know what's happened, and maybe suggest that you should just go as friends? The bruises will be easy enough to hide with makeup and you've got me to call if you feel anxious?" Gemma suggests as I nodded frantically.

Gemma Styles is probably my angel sent from above! If this happened and I didn't know Gemma at all then who knows what boat i'd be in right now.

Probably the titanic.. let's be real.

Gemma was typing on her phone quickly, I assume messaging Liam. Another thought then ran through my head, would Harry hate me more if I went with one of his best mates? I mean we're on okay terms due to Gemma but surely this will ruin that?

"All done, Just waiting for Liam's response." Gemma grinned whilst raising her arms like a little child.

She was definitely more excited about this than me. I know her heart is in the right place but I really don't know if this is the right path to recovery, nonetheless, I was willing to give anything a try at the minute.