Inciting Incident (Harry Styles)

Chapter 17

I feel like I've been missing me
Was not who I'm supposed to be
I felt this darkness over me
We all get there eventually

***

Obviously, when all I want to do is to go back to Gemma's and curl up on the sofa with endless bottles of wine, my suitcase had to be one of the last to come out. I impatiently tap my foot across the polished marble floors as I watch everyone else grab theirs easily. It wasn't as if it was a busy flight either.

I harshly lifted the suitcase off of the conveyor belt and walked quickly towards the exit where Gemma would be. I saw her as soon as I walked out of the terminal and thank goodness she has two cups in her hand, and no jerk Brother.

She smiles at me as I walk up to her and she holds out my cup to me. "Lifesaver!" I stated as happy as I could but it just came out as a monotone.

Gemma smiles and was about to hug me until I flinch slightly which made her take a step back immediately. "Jord, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Gemma said sadly, as I shook my head. We made our way to her car and got in.

I felt a bit of De Ja Vu when I saw the White Landrover but instead of feeling excited and happy like I did I just felt numb and hurt.

The car ride was completely silent, Gemma probably didn't know what to say and I just wasn't in a talkative mood. I couldn't help but feel awful but it was like I had nothing to say.

It wasn't until now that I thought maybe calling Gemma wasn't a good idea. She'll look at me differently, how I'm just this pathetic excuse for a human. What is my purpose in this world? I'm just a burden on everyone I know, including my own parents. And now she has to deal with me being moody and down, it's really not fair.

Before I knew it we were back at Gemma's, and my coffee was almost untouched. She got out and as the door shut with a small bang I jumped in fright, it's a car door for goodness sake Jordan. I thought to myself as I slowly edge my way out of the car. Gemma already has my suitcase out as she gently places a soft hand on my shoulder and guided me in first.

"Take a seat on the sofa, I'll put your suitcase in your room." All I can do is nod, and take my shoes off before curling up on the sofa and tucking my feet underneath me.

I heard footsteps behind me and hear Harry's annoying voice. "Oh her majesty is here once again. Look at me, I'm so cool wearing sunglasses inside." He interpreted my voice, badly, as he stands in the doorway but, Instead of making a sarcastic comment like I usually would I just stay completely silent as I tuck my feet even more underneath me. "I knew you were a liar but I didn't think even you would stoop this low to get back here."

I will not cry,

I will not cry!

When I don't answer he audibly tuts and spins around heading towards the kitchen as one stray tear crawls down my face.

I completely forgot I still had my sunglasses. I've worn them for so long today I forgot they were even on me. I guess they were acting like a comfort blanket and I also didn't want Gemma to see before we got back, or if at all but I knew that was impossible. Gemma came back moments later and sat next to me on the sofa, I can tell she's wanting to ask me something but she keeps fighting in her head if she should say something or not.

After Harry's comment, I slowly grab the frames of my glasses and with shaky hands and pull them slowly off of my face as I turn away so the battered eye is facing away from her.

I had to squint my eyes due to the brightness in the room, compared to my darkened glasses as I hesitantly turn my head to look at Gemma. Her eyes automatically widen to about double the size as she puts her hands over her mouth in complete shock.