Kik | Lashton ✔

Kik [5] Ur so Gay

HemmoxPenguinx: psst

HemmoxPenguinx: hey

HemmoxPenguinx: rise o mighty lord

HemmoxPenguinx: queen of england hey

HemmoxPenguinx: wake up dude

Irwie77: SHUT UP

Irwie77: ITS 2AM LUCAS

Irwie77: T W O I N T H E M O R N I N G

HemmoxPenguinx: STOP YELLING AT ME

HemmoxPenguinx: TAKE A CHILL PILL DAMMIT

HemmoxPenguinx: but u didnt seem to mind wakin up @ 2am few days ago tho

Irwie77: Your typing killed the nerves on my brain

HemmoxPenguinx: *dramatic beeping* it's all literally shutting down right now

Irwie77: Fuck you I'm gonna poison you so badly you're gonna die and I'll be sipping the fanciest tea with the Queen of England while we gracefully dance above your grave and discuss about Pride and Prejudice.

HemmoxPenguinx: slow down satan

HemmoxPenguinx: dammit ur literally the mastermind of evil

Irwie77: I'm grumpy when someone wakes me up

HemmoxPenguinx: im pretty sure you secretly works for doofenshmirtz (is that how you spell it)

Irwie77: I hate that show

HemmoxPenguinx: YOU ACTUALLY GET THE REFERENCE WHAT

Irwie77: Yeah Phineas and Ferb who never watches that

HemmoxPenguinx: SSH IM CHERISHING THIS MOMENT WHAT OTHER SHOWS DO YOU WATCH TOO

HemmoxPenguinx: WHAT ABOUT CHILDHOOD SHOWS THIS IS IMPORTANT THOSE ARE THE ROOTS OF YOUR PERSONALITY SO IF YOU PLEASE

Irwie77: [lucas' white boy voice] STOP YELLING AT ME

HemmoxPenguinx: fuck u

HemmoxPenguinx: and stop calling me lucas

Irwie77: Well then Lucifer,

Irwie77: For starters I used to have this biggest crush on Danny Phantom, and Kim Possible is really cool and I also used to draw circles on the board after school because of Chalkzone.

HemmoxPenguinx: REALLY OMFG

HemmoxPenguinx: oHMYGOD IM LUTERALLY FLAILINS RN

HemmoxPenguinx: THOSE WERE MINE TOO

HemmoxPenguinx: do you like Spongebob

Irwie77: Spongebob is annoying I live for Sandy

HemmoxPenguinx: Balls

Irwie77: You suck those

HemmoxPenguinx: OHMYGOD

HemmoxPenguinx: anyway pls tell me that i wasn't the only kid who always answers dora as a child

Irwie77: Nope, that's definitely only you.

Irwie77: Kidding. I used to answer all of her questions too and get angry when she points out the wrong things. I like Diego more though, it's probably the gay slipping in. Since you know, character building starts from young age.

HemmoxPenguinx: cant blame u diego was actually rlly cute

HemmoxPenguinx: when i was in the 3rd grade i thought that i was gay

Irwie77: THAT'S MACKLEMORE

HemmoxPenguinx: IM SORRY STOP YELLING AT ME I LOVE THAT SONG

HemmoxPenguinx: talking about gay are u out yet or do i need to drag u from the closet and force u to makeout w/ me

Irwie77: I'm out and no sorry I don't makeout with strangers

HemmoxPenguinx: we don't have to be strangers *pedo wink*

Irwie77: Get away from me Michael is planning a special mission for us tomorrow and I need to sleep so I hope your hand can satisty you

Irwie77: For now

HemmoxPenguinx: FOR NOW WAIT WHAT

HemmoxPenguinx: YOURE FORESHADOWING

HemmoxPenguinx: NO ASH WAIT

Irwie77: {picture delivered}

HemmoxPenguinx: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

HemmoxPenguinx: A SELFIE

HemmoxPenguinx: FUCK

Irwie77: bye

//

ashton u sneaky lil shit. 

I CANT FIND ANY SELFIES THAT FIT FOR THIS IM SO SORRY I FUCKED UP IM TRASH (but there's a lovely photoset of ashton on the top/side to make up for it *puppy eyes*). 

dedicated to @theriots bc shes one of my fav authors and i can't believe siobhan actually reads my stories im pooping gold rn if i disappear for a week make sure to call the police.

-lia