Kik [6] Fucking Crushes

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Ashton

Irwie77: Hi

HemmoxPenguinx: fuckin fuckity fuck fuck you

Irwie77: Well morning to you too

HemmoxPenguinx: fuck you

Irwie77: Did you have a good wank

HemmoxPenguinx: what makes you so sure id do it

Irwie77: I have a gut feeling

HemmoxPenguinx: maybe you just needed to shit

Irwie77: I would've known if I wanted to

HemmoxPenguinx: ur shit u know that right

HemmoxPenguinx: maybe u didnt wanna shit bc u were already shit

HemmoxPenguinx: you and your fuckinf cute ass sleepy face fuckin ruffled hair fucking smooth ass nose and fuckin two day old beard and golden eyes and fucking wonderful lips you and your fucking nice face i hate your face i hate you i hate you

HemmoxPenguinx: and your fucking muscles fucking shirtless selfie in the middle of the night how fucking fair is that how fucKING FAIR IS THAT I CAN SEE YOU BUT I DONT GET TO TOUCH YOu

HemmoxPenguinx: WHAT A FUCKING TEASE

HemmoxPenguinx: I WANT TO FUCKING KILL YOU AND RUN MY HAND THROUGH YOUR HAIR IT LOOKS SO FUCKING SOFT GOSH AND YOUR FUCKING EYES FUCKING STARE AT ME LIKE THAT FUCKING FUCK PLACE THOSE FUCKING LIPS ALL OVER ME IM CRYING TEARS OF BLOOD I MIGHT AS WELL POOP GOLD

HemmoxPenguinx: why are u doing this to me

Irwie77: That was cute

Irwie77: Do you have a crush on me?

Irwie77: This is apparently very... mood boosting

Irwie77: I honestly did not know what I was trying to achieve last night Michael told me to do it I'm so sorry

HemmoxPenguinx: gosh youre so dumb

HemmoxPenguinx: and no i fucking dont have a crush on you i just want to eat your face, apparently.

HemmoxPenguinx: i fucking desire you in the weirdest way ive ever felt ever and this is driving me crazy

HemmoxPenguinx: youre shit

HemmoxPenguinx: bye

Irwie77: Wait Luke no

HemmoxPenguinx: and no i did not have a good fucking wank because its not your fucking hand neither your dick up my ass

-

To: Michael

He's mad at me, I think. 

From: Michael

what happened

To: Michael

He acts like a girl I don't get it

From: Michael

dont be so sexist smh

To: Michael

Whatever, just get here ASAP

And of course the first thing Michael did after coming over and checking the phone was to smack the back of Ashton's head.

"Gosh Ashton you're so dumb. It means it fucking worked, Irwin. He has a fucking crush on you. Now we're off to step two, finding out more about the kid."

//

IM CRYIBG OMFG WHAT IS THUS I DONT KNOE WHAT RHE FUCK I FEEL HIGH THUS ESCALETD QUICLY

AND OMFG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE 1.8K (IN LESS THAN A WEEK WTF) I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH IM BREATHING HEAVILY RN I STILL CANT BELIEVE THIS

this is a really weird chapter lmfao

-lia

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