Destiel Oneshots - [Mostly Wing!Kink]

im so stoned rn

crack fic

please stay with me i have not eaten in three days

———

it was a nice day in da bunker, jack was doin jack studf sam was watchijg jack do jac studf and deam an cas were making out. all of ah sudden da big bisexual GOD, whose actually named chuck came n and was all like

"ur gonna see versions of urselves from an alternate unifuck amd theyre gomma do gay stuff i think they r from 2012 i don remember"

dem god was GONE and the bunker piwered down. dean an cas didnf nptice what was happing bc they were too busy mixing their saliva its so gross this is sam please get me out of here. n e wæs sam had to throw a shoe to them to get them to stop and they went thro g the bunker to see what the fuck was happening

cas went with dean but they ended up grinding on a wall

but sam an jack wrnt selratekt bc theyre that stupid they really always wants to seperafe from fhe group omg white people amirite
n e wæs all uva sudden sam got attacked but desn heard it and pushed cas awæ

"do u hear dat"

dean said like a big dumb stupid idiot

"yes i have angel hesring i jus wantd ti ignore it"

dean frown but he grabbed cas' hand bc its cute an went over to where da sound was comjn from. it was da dean from the OTHER UNIVERSE idk what episode i think seaosn 5 episode 4 idk it was agood episode i lik ite

other universe dean was strangling him n was all like

"ur not my brother ur luctifet >:((( and u kill me!!!1!!1!"

dean from dis universe was like

"oh hell nah not my sammy"

an punched other dean away. other dean was DUMBFOUNDED

"it is U! is dat cas uh oh"

cas looked curiously at au dean

"ur mot from dis unifuck"

"u right u right, where am i"

sam got up an look at au dean

"hell"

"good 2 know, good 2 know"

then cas hear foorstep an a blade was swing at his NECK like when bobby did in s4 that was a smooth move cas good job. n e ways cas was offensed that someone woukd try 2 kill him but the. he saw a familiar face an at first he thought if was jimmy but it wasnt which was a disappointment i miss jimmy writers please

"wha da fuq"

au ca saied an lowefed da blade

"who"

"ur mom"

"shut up dean dis is serious why is there a noftehr version of me what is happening"

sam frown

"ur dumb u were too busy tongue fucking u didnt notice chuck comein all like "haha alternate unifuck"

ca was about to smite him for talking to him but then au deanie spoke

"can we all bave a normal conversation please"

den jack cam in an was all like

"YAY FOUR DADS"

au dean an cas gasp

"U HAD A CHILD"

"he is not ours he is luctifer"

cas said, an jack frown

"i liek to think ur my dads"

"i- thats valid"

"can we sit down an have a conversation this is da stupif"

so they all went to the war room an sat down, but cas was leaning on a wall and jack was standing nex to him bc father an son

"im supposed 2 b dead"

au dean said

"yeah and so am i but guess what POOPY FART FACE it was UR FAULT"

au cas said. tbis unifuck cas gASPED

"how could u say such WORDS"

"bc i an unhapoy and im STONED juts like AUSTIN whos WIRTING THIS FIC"

i hate myself

"it is not my fault, its ur fault that u weren good enough to defend urself"

despite au cs being homam, he looked oike he was aboit to smite him and stood up to fight an au dean looked up to it but den this unifuck den an cs stepped between and pulled them away from each ogher

"i will fuck him up"

au cas said, growling like a dog bc GRRRR BARK GRRRUEUHVE WGRRRBAJBEEUWJWJANSJW thats the sound dogs make wen ANGRY

ca frown

"u can fight once we figure our wha da fuck is happen please just dont do it infronr of jack"

jack frown too, everyone in th room thoufht they both looked the same

seriously misha what r u hiding

"i can handle fighting"

"no u cant u saw two raccoons fighting the other day an u syaryed crying"

"THEY CPULDVE SOLVED IT WOTH W ORDS"

stoner cas start laughing

"this is interesting"

"ur on drugs"

au dean reyorted

"yeah and ur GAY"

"JOKES ON U, I HAVE BEEN THE WHOLE TIME"

everyone GASP

"whats a gay"

"jack go to ur room well hamdle this"

"no seriouslt what us a gay"

"its what u are"

deana sai

"ohhhhhh"

jack walk to his room

"now that the kid is gone can someone tell me WHAT THE FUCK ER ARE DOING HERE"

au dea scream bc hes dumb

"becaus dumb dumb god took u here"

"what"

stoner cas laugh again

"that fucker don exist bro"

"yes he do"

"ah, fuck"

friends theme somg

ok im dome i just lost so many brain cells