mistakes (jerrie)

part XIV

Perrie 

2 months after what Jade and I call "the incident" I felt like I was doing much better. I was attending regular group therapy sessions, Jade and I were spending more time with each other and our friends, and best of all, I had been completely sober that entire time.

Jade had also been getting better. I noticed she was eating a little more each day and slowly but surely she was re gaining the weight she had lost. Overall, Jade just looked happier. Things were starting to go back to normal. Well, normal as in before I overdosed.

In general, Jade has been my rock. Some days are harder than others, and I think she knows that.

Today was one of those hard days.

"Jade I need my wax pen back," I said, pacing back and forth in her bedroom. Jade shook her head.

"No you don't Perrie,"

"You don't know what I need," I snapped back, perhaps a bit too harshly. Jade leaned back on her bed and narrowed her eyes at me.

"Okay sure, but I do know that you don't need the pen back," she challenged. I stopped for a second and just looked at her.

"I'm being a bitch, aren't I?" her face remained stoic and she gave me a short nod. I sighed. This girl is a literal angel for putting up with my bullshit. "I'm sorry Jadey," I said, sitting next to her on her bed. She remained silent, staring at the wall in front of her. When she didn't look at me or speak for another minuet, I tried to get her attention again. "Jade?" she took a deep breath before looking at me.

"I love you Perrie, I really do, but you're fucking difficult sometimes." I reached out and held her hand in mine.

"I know I am, but I'm trying," I reasoned, "I'm trying for you and for my brother and sister, I want to be better for all of you." I lifted her hand that I was holding and brought it to my lips, kissing the back of her hand. "But mainly for you,"

"You shouldn't be trying to get better for me, you should be trying to get better for you,"

"But you honestly mean more to me than anything, and seeing you upset has been my wake up call." She shook her head.

"Agree to disagree," she murmured, "But while we're talking like this I wanted to ask you something," I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Okay shoot."

"What are you planning to do after school?" She asked. We, up until this very moment, hadn't spoken at all about college plans or lack there of. Personally, the thought of attending University hadn't exactly crossed my mind in the past few months. Not that I didn't want to get higher education, I just had so much on my plate.

"I haven't exactly put too much thought into it, why are you asking?"

"I just want to know if you plan on staying here or maybe moving away or...:" She trailed off,

"I don't know, I haven't applied anywhere." I said, but I noticed Jade wouldn't meet my eyes again, "Jadey, why are you asking me this."

"I um, I got into NYU." She said with a small smile.

"Are you serious? Jade that's amazing!" I exclaimed, engulfing her in a hug. We fell back onto her bed, giggling as I kissed all over her face. "Is that where you want to go?" She shrugged.

"It's the one that I keep going back to so that must mean something. Their art program is amazing and I mean, it's New York" I smiled at her, but then it hit me.

"Wait New York huh." She bit her lip and nodded.

"How does that make you feel?" How did that make me feel? New York is really far.

"What if I come with you?" She shook her head.

"I can't ask you to do that for me."

"You're not asking me to do anything. I'm proposing that I go with you." I stated simply.

"But you would be leaving everything behind here just to follow me to some big city thousands of miles away," I shook my head and brought my hand to her cheek.

"If I didn't go with you, I would be losing everything," she smiled and shook her head.

"That's a bit cheesy don't you think?"

"Sure but you love it," I teased back, "Of course, I'll only go with you if you want me to come," she grinned back at me.

"You're it for me baby, of course I want you to come with me,"

~~~~~~~~~~

Jade and I spent the rest of the day doing homework on her bed, stealing the occasional kiss. The whole time, I was thinking about New York. I would have to find a job, I would have to find us a place to live, and I would have to decide if college was the right path for me. For Jade, it was obvious that college was the right decision. The girl loves school. I, on the other hand, do not particularly like school. But if I go to school, I could study something that I was really passionate about and make a career out of it.

"Jadey can I borrow your laptop?" I asked. Jade didn't look up from her history assignment, she just nodded and gestured to her desk where her laptop lay. I got up from my place on her bed and made my way to the laptop, kissing Jade on the forehead as I passed by.

After around an hour of typing on Jade's laptop, I felt her reading over my shoulder.

"Are you applying to schools?" She asked, clearly confused. I shrugged.

"I might as well right? Keep all options open." she bent down and hugged me from behind, resting her chin on my shoulder.

"New York, huh?" I nodded and turned my head to face her, planting a kiss on her lips.

"New York, but mostly you," 

AN: Okay it's literally 3 am and I need to sleep. but here's are relatively fluffy chapter before I go on and shake things up :)

stay safe and wash your hands!