like honey but poisoned

paper plane

Vanessa looked like she was trying to imitate a fish. She kept opening, then closing her mouth again. Lissa on the other hand had a serious expression on her face, that I couldn't read.
I had gone too far, I crossed the line for once and for all, that was it.
Then my aunt finally broke the silence.
"Well, that is certainly unexpected."
Her lips curled into a smile and I was utterly confused.
"I didn't expect you, uh you know, that you liked girls." Vanessa started laughing and clapped her hands. I was growing more confused by the minute.
"Of course, it makes sense now!" She laughed again.
She didn't seem angered at all.
"What makes sense?" I asked in confusion.
"Well, now that I think of it, you never showed interest in anyone before. But that's because you were scared to come out. And I was so close-minded to think that was because you were incapable to love anyone. It never crossed my mind that it was because of the gender."
My aunt ruffled my hair.
I didn't know how to feel about that conclusion. Until now I hadn't actually thought about my sexuality actively.
But now that I thought of it, I did notice that I felt more drawn to girls.
"Are you not mad at all?" I asked, feeling somewhat insecure.
"Of course not, what do you think of me, Marie? I'm just glad you're finally starting to open up."
My aunt turned to Lissa and pinched her cheek.
"And that's all thanks to you, you lovely being."
Lissa smiled at that, but it didn't reach her eyes. Oh God, she must be so mad at me right now. In this moment she was like a ticking bomb and I wondered, whether she'd explode or not.
"Well, I can't believe I'm having such an effect on your niece yet either. It's all still very new to me as well." While speaking, Lissa kept giving me sharp side glances, but luckily my aunt didn't notice.
"I can imagine that." My aunt laughed.
"I'm proud of you Marie, that you take this step in your life and give love a chance. And how exciting that is, that we'll have two queens then, but I mean we live in the 21st century, anything is possible."
Vanessa seemed to be very excited about the news. And I didn't know how to react. I also felt guilty for lying.
"And you two make such a cute couple." Vanessa sighed and folded her hands.
"I think you read too many love novels, Vanessa, and it's starting to show," I stated dryly.
"And you haven't read enough, mon cœur, but that doesn't matter, as you'll be living your own love story now. I'll leave you two alone then for a bit, to get to know each other and so on." My aunt winked at me.
This was the first time, that I actually craved my aunt's company, so I wouldn't be left alone with Lissa, because I definitely had a storm coming for me.
"Uh, Vanessa, you don't have to go, you can stay with us for a bit, if you want to."
I received another sharp look from Lissa.
My aunt gave Lissa a knowing look.
"See, how polite she suddenly is? I can't believe it, you're turning my sour little beast sweet."
Suddenly Lissa put her arm around me and squeezed me, which felt a bit rough.
"Oh I know she's super, super sweet actually, so sweet, that I want to eat her alive."
My aunt burst into laughter.
"You surely have an interesting way to flirt, I can see why Marie has developed a liking towards you, however I'll give you two some privacy now, see you later."
My aunt exited the door and I stared after her, internally pleading she'll come back.

"You" Lissa pinned me against the wall.
"You owe me something. And by something I mean a lot. Everything actually. If you want me to keep quiet about this. I'll get everything that I want."
Her voice had a menacing undertone and first I felt relieved, that she'd play along, then scared about what she meant by "everything".
"Uh okay."
"Am I making you speechless, Rémont?"
I started to feel a bit hot under her stare, and I was also a bit too aware of how close she was. What was wrong with me? Why did she have this effect on me? She felt a bit like a drug and I was trying not to get addicted too fast, I mean, I barely even knew her.
"No! You don't."
"Yea sure, tell that to someone else."
I didn't like her behaviour, I could see right through it, she knew exactly that she had all control over my life now, and she seemed to be enjoying it way too much.
"But like, are you actually okay with it? I mean, I'm a girl and you're a girl and do you even-"
"Thanks for the info, I wasn't aware of that Sherlock. All that should matter to you is that I'm saving your ass, why would you even care if I was into girls or not? Unless, of course, you're starting to-"
"Stop it!" I put my hand over her mouth.
"Please just stop. Do we have a deal now or not?"
"Yes."
She waved her pinky finger in my face expectantly.
"It's no real deal, unless we don't make a pinky promise."
I sighed.
"That's so childish."
Lissa rolled her eyes.
"Some naïveté won't hurt you, you're too bitter anyways."
"Okay."

Lissa and I were sitting peacefully in the library and I was completely consumed by the story I was reading, until a paper plane landed on my open book.
I took a look at it and gasped.
It wasn't just any paper, it was a page from a book. I looked across the room to Lissa, who sat on the windowsill, holding "Pride and Prejudice" in her hands, or rather what was left of it, as she kept on ripping pages out of the book to fold paper planes.
I felt like I was going to explode.
"What the fuck are you doing?!"
She looked up at me.
"I'm bored."
"Do you know how old that book was? It was practically ancient and - and you just destroyed it!!!"
"So what?" She didn't look fazed at all.
"So what? Are you serious, damnit, you can't just destroy such a book and not give a fuck."
I kept walking towards her, I felt more than enraged.
When I stood right in front of her, I shouted: "Don't you dare destroy my library, do God knows what, but-" I stopped abruptly, when I noticed her flinch at my words. She looked scared of me. I followed her gaze to my hand, I had been gesturing wildly.
A terrifying thought crossed my mind.
My mouth felt completely dry.
"Did-did you just think that I was going to hit you?" I asked in disbelief.
Slowly she nodded and I saw tears forming in her eyes.
"Oh my God," I whispered and put my hand over my mouth.
"Lissa, I would never hit you, or use any kind of violence, I was just mad, because you destroyed something, that was of great importance to me." I felt like I was talking to a scared child, but it was no wonder, sure from her appearance you could tell she was a teenager, but the way she behaved right now, was rather like a disturbed child, it broke my heart.
I pulled her into a hug and kissed her hair, like my mother had done with me when I was little and scared.
"It's okay, really, it was just a book and I could never hurt you, 'though next time, I'd appreciate it, if you asked me first, before destroying something."
She nodded, showing she understood, but she still kept crying.
"Can-can you, I mean, do you, have a plushy for me?" She spoke with a broken voice.
I gave her an irritated look, surely she was too old for that, right?
"W-when I l-left I couldn't take Hagrid with me."
"Hagrid?"
"My plushy bunny."
I sighed, yes, she was too old for plushies, but if it'd make her happy.
"Okay, come with me, we'll get you a plushy."
Her lips formed a small smile and I couldn't help, but find her cute.

Once we were in my bedroom, I opened one of my drawers, that I hadn't opened in a long time, it mostly contained things from my childhood. On top of all the old belongings, was Hercules, my teddy bear. I couldn't go one night without Hercules, when I was younger, then suddenly when I was eight years old, I decided I was too old for Hercules.
I took Hercules out of the drawer and gave it to Lissa, who sat in my bed with the blanket up to her neck.
"Here, that's Hercules, he'll protect you from all the monsters under my bed." I said with a serious look.
"You're making fun of me."
"I would never do such a thing." I couldn't help the grin spreading on my face.
"Yes, you do." Lissa shoved me playfully.
"Maybe a bit."
"Marie?"
"Hm?"
"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"
I was a bit surprised by that, but for some reason I didn't mind at all.
"Yes, why not."
"Marie?"
"Yes?"
"Can you promise me, that tomorrow, we'll pretend this never happened?"
I thought for a moment before locking her pinky finger with mine.
"I promise."

Soon after that, Lissa had fallen asleep and I went back to the library, her behaviour reminded me of something I had read about a while ago and I wanted to see if I was right.
I looked through the old psychology book, that peeked my interest every now and then.
When I found what I had been looking for, I didn't know whether I was supposed to feel relieved or worried.
After reading the chapter about PTSD, I was more than sure, that Lissa had PTSD and that I had somehow managed to trigger her.
What scared me most 'though, was that I actually felt responsible for her and that I wanted to help her.
I wiped my hand across my face.
What had I gotten myself into?