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April 12, 20XX Sunday pt. ii
I stayed.
My excuse was that I wanted to see the city.
I wasn't expecting Taehyung to say, "So let's see the city then."
Yet two bus stops later, we step into the heart of it.
The sun creates an orange to purple glow over the buildings and the light posts flicker on as the sidewalk shrinks, everyone getting off of work and heading to the bars.
Bumping into Taehyung causes him to look down from over his shoulder, a grin stretching across his face, one that I haven't seen in a while.
He chuckles, "Stay close. What would I do if I lose you?"
I don't know, Taehyung.
What would you do?
Nodding, I take a step closer, making sure that only our jackets brush against each other because I couldn't handle anything more.
My phone vibrates and I take it out to see my mom texting me her usual "Yejoon's asleep" text.
My baby...
My heart aches as I think about how much he could be missing me.
Truthfully, I was staying because I was worried about Taehyung.
He wasn't sleeping and I was worried that he wasn't eating well either.
Was he losing weight? I couldn't tell with his baggy clothing.
How has he been living so far?
I think about the night before I went a year without seeing him.
The time that I had told him I didn't want him back into my life.
Does he remember that?
Taehyung takes out his camera, taking a couple of pictures of the life put into the city from performances to food vendors.
"Taehyung, can I ask you something?" I stop and lean against the retaining wall, half-sitting.
He turns to me, blinking his eyes before raising an eyebrow.
I lose myself a little in his eyes, my heart fluttering as nostalgia hits.
"Do you remember your accident?"
Taehyung's eyes drift from my own, turning back to his camera to fiddle with it.
"I do."
"What happened?" I whisper, feeling my chest start to tighten.
He stays quiet and I almost think he hadn't heard me until he looks up, eyes squinting.
"I was walking out of the airport in a rush and I just stepped onto the road at a bad time...a taxi hit me. It was trying to beat the other taxis waiting at curbside, so it was going really fast."
"Do you remember how bad it hurt?" My eyes sting and I have to swallow back a lump in my throat.
He shakes his head, the wind feathering through his hair. "No. The most painful thing was afterward."
He turns to give me a small smile, "Dealing with amnesia and all the things that came out of it...made me feel like a prisoner in my own body."
My vision starts to blur.
He turns his attention back to his camera, talking quietly. "I was forced to listen to all these thoughts that didn't feel like me. I had all these insecurities and a regret that I didn't understand. It kept me up for hours at night, driving me mad. I wanted it to stop and when it finally did...it didn't help like I thought it would. It just felt like nothing. My brain just shut off, but there I was in the silence...It's very lonely."
"Is that why you take the pills?" I ask sadly.
"Yeah, except sometimes I don't."
"Why?"
Taehyung brings up the camera to his face, eye looking through the viewfinder. Suddenly turning towards me, he catches me by surprise as I stare into the camera lens.
"Because I'm a masochist."
I wait for him to explain, trying to connect with him from beyond the viewfinder.
"When I overthink, my brain hurts and there's something about the pain that I like. I put my faith in that pain," Smiling, he continues, "It makes me feel alive."
Taehyung, does your face match your voice, right now?
He lowers the camera from his face, sitting down on the retaining wall with me.
We sit in silence for a bit, just people watching and enjoying the music seeping out from the clubs.
I watch Taehyung as he continues to take pictures, amazed by the simple things, like the way he holds the camera or the way his eyebrows knit as he adjusts the settings.
"Taehyung, do you remember anything from your past?"
Taehyung shakes his head. "No. They say that I remember most of it, but I don't feel like it. I have memories of my childhood up to a certain point, but nothing from before the accident. My parents think that I remember them entirely, but I wasn't going to burst that bubble for them. Of course, I also remember the accident, but the memories leading up to it are fuzzy."
"Seems like you still retained everything you learned in photography training..."
Since I was with him so much before, I can see how differently he takes pictures now.
"The mind forgets, the body remembers."
Shivers run down my spine, enough to make me close my eyes.
"Do you think that I take pictures now because I loved to do it before?"
When I open my eyes, Taehyung's so close to me. He studies my face, brushes of his eye's gaze felt all over. Tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear, his touch renders me silent.
"If I told you why I like taking pictures, you would laugh." He places his hand back on his lap.
"I don't think so."
"Really?" He cocks a brow, giving me a teasing smile.
He brings up the camera to his face once more, this time his finger ready to press down on the shutter-release button.
"It's because I'm trying to find a whisper of color...
..In my monochrome world."
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Authors note;;
Okay guys, I have taken the time to enjoy D-2. Wow-what a masterpiece and omg the Daechwita trend on tiktok is so fun to watch. I hope Yoongi sees some of that.
This book is almost coming to an end! We are a little over half-way but don't worry still a bit to go. I already have plans for the next books that I want to publish and I hope that you'll continue to support me <3 Feel free to follow me! I'll try to keep yall up to date.
