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April 22, 20XX Thursday 'Taehyung POV'
"Goodbye, Jennie."
I hold back my urge to stop her from entering the train, the very urge just to wrap my arms around her and plead her to stay by my side.
I don't deserve her.
I don't deserve to hold her back.
It must have been hard for her to look at me and for me not to look at her the way I've done before.
She's finally decided to move on.
She's decided to let go of the pain that I've put her through.
I told myself that if she ever decides to walk away that I would let her.
So what came over me yesterday?
Why did I beg for her to come back to me?
Was it enough?
No, I wasn't enough.
She still wanted to leave.
So, that's why I decided to come here, the place she often wrote about in her journal.
(The journal that I picked up with my divorce papers)
I figured she would be taking a train out of here to go to her school and I could see her one final time, but also this is the spot where most of our memories are.
This spot holds more memories than any other place we've been to.
I needed to see it here with her.
Jennie smiles politely, giving me a tiny nod as she gets on that distracts me from my thoughts.
Once inside, she gives me another wave.
I give one back.
I stand there with my arm up, and as my fingers curl down,
it hits me.
All the times, I've been here.
All the times, I've seen her.
I'm nervous, I'm tired, I'm drawing, all while thinking of her.
My heart pounds loudly in my ears, just like the time before I acknowledged her for the first time.
When I lifted two fingers by my eyesand gave her a cheesy grin.
My head jerks her way as the train pulls out, I want to tell her, to stop her, but it's too late...
The train has already left.
I pull out my phone and go to text her, but come across all these things that are familiar and not at the same time.
It confuses me and I have to sit down and hold my head as all these thoughts flood my brain, all these memories.
Where do I start?
Where do I make sense of everything?
I lick my lips and stare at my phone, a message from Irene coming through about our ongoing business.
It wasn't always just business.
I narrow my eyes as I think about how obvious it's become that she's been pushing me away from Jennie.
I grow even more upset when I recall the figure that was always beside her.
Sungjae.
Sungjae was now with Jennie.
Sungjae was taking her away from me.
Sungjae was in the taxi that night.
Sungjae, sungjae, sungjae.
I shut my eyes, biting my knuckle as I tap my foot impatiently at the ground.
He touched.
He kissed her.
He used her.
And then there was my mother...
My own mother kept me away from my wife and son.
I snap my eyes open, unable to be left with all this rage any longer.
The date is now April.
Over a year has passed.
I'm not going to waste anymore time.
I'm back,
and I'm angrier than ever.
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