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MARCH 4, 20XX TUESDAY
I woke up gasping for breath.
What's going on?
I place a hand over my chest as I try to catch my breath.
Why am I feeling this way?
I hold out my hand to notice that it's shaking.
Feeling overly nervous, I reach for my phone.
What do you do when the one person you want to call is out of the county?
It sucks to have to skip over his name, but I had to get to someone available.
Placing the phone by my ear, I wait for an answer.
"Jennie? Are you alright? Is it the baby?" My mom's concern is enough to comfort me.
I place a hand over my belly.
"I-I don't know. I woke up feeling a bit dizzy. S-should I be worried? Should I go to the doctor? I'm scared, mom. I'm scared." I wipe away the tears with my arm.
This is scary.
The scariest part is that I'm alone.
"Oh, Jennie. Don't cry. How are you feeling now?" My mom tries to sound as calm as she can.
I hold out my hand and notice it isn't shaking anymore.
"I'm fine right now." I sniffle.
"Good. Maybe you rolled onto your back. The baby probably was pressing against your vein. Why don't you go have a drink of water and let me know how you feel in twenty minutes."
I roll my eyes up and blink away the tears. "Okay, mom."
My mom reassures me that she will take me to the doctor if it happens again before hanging up.
I rest the phone on my lap as I rub my belly.
"Please be okay," I whisper to the baby growing inside of me.
My phone rings and I check to see if it might be my mom again.
It's Taehyung.
I suck in my breath before answering the video call.
"Jennie."
I tear up, my throat burning from holding back my tears.
As hard as I tried to remain composed, I break down.
"Jennie!" He sits up. "What's wrong? Are you in pain?"
I shake my head, continuing to cry.
Why am I crying so hard?
Is it because I was so scared?
Or maybe it's because...
"You aren't here..." I tell him. "You aren't here for me when I need you to be."
