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October 1, 20XX 6 months earlier Taehyung POV
"You've been experiencing trouble sleeping?"
I shift around on the sofa, eyes still exploring the unfamiliar room.
"Yes, Dr.," I clear my throat to prevent my voice from breaking again.
"I haven't slept well for weeks after the accident. Usually, I would wait it out until I got very sleepy, but lately, I've been finding myself still up to say goodbye to the moon."
"Mm. It's getting worse."
"Right." I interlock my fingers, staring at them.
Dr. Yi's eyes are on me, making me wish the sofa could just swallow me whole.
All I concentrate on is the sound of the clock, the silence feeling too long.
"Close your eyes for me, please. Lay your head back and imagine you're in your room trying to sleep."
I do as I'm told, envisioning I'm back in my bed. At first, I'm thinking about how awkward it is that Dr. Yi is just watching me. Then, I feel guilty because he's just trying to help me make sense of my mind.
The reason I came here was that I was starting to scare myself. I was losing touch with reality. I didn't know what my purpose in life was anymore. Almost like I had awoken in somebody else's body and I was trying to continue their story while prioritizing everyone's happiness before my own. But I felt that I was walking this path alone.
The truth was that I was upset, hurt, confused, and instead of taking the time to understand those feelings, I had to bury it inside me because everyone was starting to view me as the bad guy.
My chest feels tight to the point that I feel suffocated, tears pricking the corner of my eyes. This exercise was taking too long. Why wasn't he saying anything? Why isn't he helping me? Snapping my eyelids open, I stare at the ceiling, trying not to cry at my first appointment with my psychologist.
"What's happening?" He tilts his head.
I swallow the lump in my throat, meeting eyes with him for the first time. "I-I don't know. I just think too much. Is that it? You're going to tell me that I need to solve all my problems to get a good night's sleep?"
"Taehyung, you're always going to have problems in your life. We just have to understand what it is about your problems that's not letting you sleep."
I stare down at my lap, feeling exhausted. It's already been almost an hour and I feel like this whole time Dr. Yi just wore me down with his stares.
"You're uncomfortable with silence."
I pick up my head.
"I've been observing how you during my extended pauses. You blink a lot, play with your hands, and keep moving on the couch. That tells me that you are most uncomfortable during that time."
