Note: This is a double-update. Make sure you read "Courage" before "Back"
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March 26, 20XX Thursday
➝ JUNGKOOK: Are you going today?
← Idk... I'm scared.
➝JUNGKOOK: Of what?
➝ JUNGKOOK: What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?
➝ JUNGKOOK: That was vincent van gogh by the way
I smile, a first for the day.
Thanks to Jungkook, I think I've finally built up the courage to go see Taehyung.
Looking in the mirror, I finish brushing my hair, placing a loose strand of hair behind my ear, my wedding ring catching my attention.
Did Taehyung still have his?
Taking in a deep breath, I attempt to calm my nerves as I put on my jacket and head to the front door.
After taking a couple of minutes to make sure that my mom will be okay with Yejoon, I was finally out the door.
It had been a while since I was out in the fresh air, walking towards the bus stop to ride towards Taehyung's.
Along the way, I couldn't help but reminisce of everywhere we went together. Seeing our ghosts laughing and bumping into each other, a cloud of puppy love surrounding us.
It feels like so long ago.
I finally approach Taehyung's street, pulling on the stop request cord, I stand up and wait for the bus doors to open.
"Thank you," I kindly thank the bus driver as I step onto the sidewalk, making my way towards Taehyung's house.
I could've driven my car here, but in the end, it would have made it easier for me to back out last minute.
At least this way, I was forcing myself.
As I was approaching the gate, it suddenly swings open, the statuesque figure stepping out.
I freeze in place.
He continues walking out, walking away from me.
He didn't notice me.
He had his head low, easily missing me. It wasn't until I registered a second voice that I realize he had his head down in an attempt to hear her as she was shorter.
Frowning, I realize that Irene is stepping after him, her laugh sounding like a chime in the wind.
The two fall into step with each other, engrossed in light conversation.
I feel a weird sensation in the pit of my stomach that's hard to explain and it has something to do with the girl being none other than Irene.
What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?
I start to open my mouth ready to shout when all of a sudden I hear a "Don't."
Closing my mouth, I turn to see Taehyung's mother standing by the gate, ready to close it.
I look at her, the pain evident on my face.
"Please. Don't." She repeats.
I flicker my eyes over at Taehyung and Irene, watching him walk further away. All I want to do in this moment is wrap my arms around him, to feel him again...before it's too late. Before Irene gets him.
I clutch my jacket and turn back to Taehyung's mother, confused by why she had stopped me.
"I'm sorry, Jennie... It's just that we're scared he's going to forget everything. His memory has been slowly getting better and we don't want to jinx anything."
"B-by bringing me into the picture?" I can't help but sound as hurt as I am.
She looks at me with tired eyes. "We're afraid that you're regressing his memories. What if he sees you again and he forgets everything again?"
I narrow my eyes at her, "Who told you..."
...that? That I'm some kind of trigger? Was she saying that something about me caused Taehyung's amnesia?
I scoff slightly, not trying to be rude, but instead trying to ease the way my heart was breaking.
With tears, I angrily misdirect them towards Taehyung's mother. "Then am I supposed to stay away? What about Yejoon? What about our marriage?"
What about me?
"Jennie," she inhales deeply, shutting her eyes. "Please. When Yejoon's older you'll understand."
I'm sick of this.
I'm sick of adults downplaying how I feel.
"Am I supposed to watch...as someone else takes my place," I whisper in tears.
Taehyung's mother slowly opens her eyes, her hand at the gate. "It's not as it appears. Irene is just helping him to continue his career. It's something he remembers. It's something that makes him him still. So please, just stop. Understand that Taehyung is in agony as well. That he feels he has lost his purpose. This gives him purpose, understood?"
I lower my eyes to the ground, wrapping my jacket tighter around me, feeling colder than ever.
